Joyce Margaret Lacey (18 Sep 1930 - 20 Jul 2020)

In loving memory of Joyce Margaret Lacey who sadly passed away on Monday 20th July 2020
Aged 89 years. She will be deeply missed by her husband John and all the beloved family.

Donations can also be made in Joyce's memory for 'The British Heart Foundation' and can be made on-line via this page.

Joyce Margaret Lacey's Life story

Joyce was born in Dale Street Chatham on 18th September 1930 to Doris and Albert Burfoot. She also had an elder sister Doris and a younger brother Albert who passed away only two weeks old. Joyce had a very loving family and although hard times, she grew up surrounded in love and music, often the piano was rolled out into the street for a sing-along or her dad played the piano accordion and her sister played the piano by ear.

The family moved to Mills Terrace and back to Dale Street Chatham during the war years and Joyce recalled and shared many stories with her family during this time including being blown around the counter at the Co-op and someone laying over her and her sister to protect them as a bomb went off. Joyce recounted many times of escaping to the air raid shelter in the middle of the night with her family or being at the pictures when the message appeared to leave but not wanting to miss the film. Many children were evacuated during the war but such was the strength of their family that they didn’t want to be parted.

Unfortunately, when Joyce was ten years old her father was working at the dockyard and a bomb exploded and her father lost his life. She has recounted many times that he offered to go and make the tea even though it wasn’t his turn and this was how he was caught in the blast. This kindness and giving selflessly typifies Joyce’s family and the person that she grew to be. Losing her father at such a young age made Joyce worry about her mum and made her want to care for her and always be there for her. She never left her side and this was true of Joyce all her life, she worried about her loved ones relentlessly and never stopped caring for them. It was the person that she was, always putting family and loved ones before herself and always worrying about them.

When Joyce was 12 years old she met John, who would become her husband for 71 cherished years. He even visited her in hospital when she was looking at the cream cakes in the shop window and twisted and broke her ankle. She was delighted to be visited by the milk-boy and their story began.

Joyce left school at the age of 14 and started working at the railway café with her sister and aunt. They had such fun together and Joyce described these as good times. So much so that they were having a bit too good a time and needed to be split up from her sister so one of them needed to work on the other side of the track. Joyce saw much while working here, she saw prisoners of war being loaded off the carriages-this was difficult after her father had been killed during the war. Her beauty also meant that she was admired by the American soldiers who often gave her gum but she only had eyes for the one who had captured her heart – John.

John was called-up to the army when he was 18 years old and was there for 2 years doing national service. During this time, they wrote letters to each other daily expressing their feelings to each other. It was on the 8th January 1948 that John and Joyce were married at St Johns church Chatham. John was 20 Years old and Joyce 18 Years old. John’s sister also called Joyce was married two weeks before so Joyce borrowed her wedding dress to get married. They would jest that Joyce took her name as she now became Joyce Lacey.

Initially, they lived with John’s parents for six months and then a cottage became available on the farm from Miss Bachelor. It was wonderful having their own home as newlyweds but also difficult to make ends meet – they were special times.

David their first child was born here and he enjoyed wondrous grounds to grow-up in with acres of land to explore. This was a wonderful place to have adventures as a child. When David was 5 years old Joyce told him he was going to get a really special Easter egg and Michael was born- their second child. Perhaps David was a little disappointed not to receive the Easter Egg! When Michael (Mick) was two months old they decided they needed to move as there was no sanitation where they lived and Joyce was worried for her children’s health.

They moved to Weeds Wood. These were new houses and very different from the farm house they lived in. The rent was very expensive and Joyce also had a job in the evening to help make ends meet. The house was very cold. Joyce recalled that David had pneumonia and John needed to go into the woods to cut trees to warm the home.
Eventually, they decided to move to Otway Street, as John managed to get a job in the dairy. It was here that Lynn was born – their youngest child and their family was now complete. Lynn often joked that she was born in a dairy and they opened the windows and shouted, ‘it’s a girl!’ In jubilation.

When Lynn was 5 years old they moved to live at Luton Garage. Here Joyce worked and helped on the petrol pumps. She would recollect that it brought her out of herself. These were happy times and often we have heard stories of jubilant parties and the bar they had in their front room – the photographs look like they were special times and wonderful parties – they were much loved by many.

In 1966, they moved next door into 166 Luton Road. Joyce never really liked this house but it was a massive town house with 3 floors and her children grew into adults in this home and many late nights of friends coming back after nights out and fry-ups and were always welcomed. It held the cries and laughter of her grandchildren. It was a wonderful place for grandchildren to play in the garden building tents and in the cellar and in the front room upstairs trying on the row of Joyce’s shoes. There are many fond memories in this home. Including a stink bomb being thrown through the bathroom window…. we shall name no names. A cream cake ending up the wall – that had only just been decorated - during a sibling quarrel and someone being carried out into the snow without any socks and shoes. Life was rich and the family grew and were cherished.

In later years, John and Joyce decided to move to a smaller dwelling and moved to new homes being built in Alfred close. They visited the site and chose the first house no 2 Alfred Close. They condensed their possessions into their most cherished and moved them with them, including the precious cat and vase that Lynn bought with her first wages, the treasured wooden elephant from Mick and the beautiful golden landscape David gave them as a gift. Their possessions were not plenty but their cherished memories were abundant and love for their family filled every space.

Their family continued to grow to see the arrival of seven grandchildren and seven great grandchildren and somehow there was enough love for them all and all were loved beyond measure. She always put her children and her children’s children first. She never stopped worrying and caring for her family and they meant the world to her. They brought great joy and happiness and many wonderful family times were shared. Joyce felt blessed and proud to have the love of her family and family was the most important part of Joyce’s life. She cared dearly for John with gentleness and love and would lay awake at night if he was unwell and care for him during the day. They were inseparable and their love for one another over 70 years was immeasurable and could be confined by no bounds.

When you think of Joyce as a wife, mum, nan, aunt, cousin…. first you think of love and love is what she always gave, then you think about kindness and selfless giving and being embraced in her arms and held dearly. When you think of her…remember her in this way, in love and being held in her arms …. as one day she will hold you again in her loving embrace.

When such love is shared, we never truly lose the person and Joyce will never be lost to us as her love continues in her family and the love she shared is shared among you to also share with your families.
Rest in peace Joyce and know you are truly loved beyond measure and the love you have imparted to your family will be cherished and will be passed from generation to generation to come.