Marilyn Lineker (9 May 1946 - 2 Jul 2019)

It feels empty and sad each Boxing Day knowing we would be at yours for the day, everyone there, eating your buffet and being a family. We miss it so very much and we miss you more than anything. We love you so much mum, everything is different now and the world seems that much more lonely without you. We love you so much mum and we miss you so badly xx

Hi nanna, I miss you so much.
I hope you’re having and amazing Christmas with grandad. Remember not to let him near the food tomorrow, or he will start picking at the Boxing Day buffet. i love you millions, I always have and I always will.
All my love
Eva xxxxx

I’ve written some poetry for you nanny.

when i was at your house when you died,
i don’t think i ever left.
the machines blearing,
my heartbeat racing,
my eyes watering.
every single time i close my eyes.
ever since that day i’ve never been the same,
ever since that day,
i grieve two people,
you and i.


I was 10 years old when the angels took you home.
i spent 10 years holding your hand.
I spent my 11th year holding griefs hand.
Your loss brought me
emptiness in every conversation
Tears welling my eyes.
when my mother looks at me, she sees you.
when my family look at me, they see you.
I am like you.
The living and breathing reminder of grief.



I miss you more than words could say. You were my life and soul and my purpose. To be there for my nanny. I’m so sorry that we can’t be together anymore. I know i promised i’d hold your hand through all of it but I didn’t think God would be this cruel. I love you more than anything in this world, nothing could compare to you. My sweet, beautiful, kind, caring nanny. It was a privilege to know you, even for the short time. My nanny was my hero, and was my living legend. The air that I breathe and the centre of my heart. You got ripped away from me and i’ve been left splintered and now every time it beats, it hurts. It really hurts nanny. Every second of every minute of every hour, you are always on my mind. Whether i’m asleep or not. You are my first thought and my last thought of the day. My courage, strength and bravery all came from you. (unfortunately the looks came from grandad aswell as the sassyness). I love you and I wish I said that more because i’m talking to the stars wishing you could hear.
Forever your sweetheart,
Eva 🩷💜🩷💜

Happy birthday nan, I hope that gramps has spoiled you rotten today and that you have plenty of tea and cake. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact it’s been six years since I last saw you or heard your voice. It doesn’t feel real to be honest, there are still so many things I wish I could say, so many things I wish I could talk to you about, so many things I wish you could be here to see. I get married in just over a month, and I guess I’d always thought that’d be something you’d be here for, I hope you’re there with me in your own way somehow. I love you and grandad more than anything, and I wish I’d told you that more whilst you were here. I hope that you both know you’re always in all of our hearts, not just on days like today. Love you always x

Thinking of you today mum as I have done everyday since you had your leave us. I’ve had some rough times lately mum and I really hope you would have supported the decisions and choices I’ve had to make for myself and Eva. I can’t bear to think you could be disappointed in me. I wish you were here so I could talk to you through all this. I will be happier though Mum and I’m sure that would be all you wanted for me. I know dads looking after you, you’re looking after each other. I miss you and dad so very much and I look forward to the day I can hug you both again. I love you both so very much. Happy birthday to you, my beautiful, brave mum xx

Miss you so much today mothers day as I do everyday. Love you always. Whenever any of us have a problem I always think what would mum do. No one could ever take your place. You are the strongest woman I've ever met and we all love you dearly ❤️

come home nanny, i need you

Christmas isn’t Christmas without you here mum. Nothing is the same anymore and I miss you so much I can feel my heart breaking. I love you and dad so much and everything just feels emptier without you both, I feel emptier without you both, like my purpose has gone. Please give each other a cuddle from me and know I’m thinking of you both.

Love you Nan 🤍

I want my nanny more then anything right now, i just want you so badly. i miss your hugs and your voice and it worried me that i’ll forget it. i wish i could have one more conversation with you, for you to tell me that you love me and you’re proud of me. that’s all i could ever want. i want to make you proud and to know that you love me.
5 years ago i wished i held you tighter, i can remember when we had our last proper hug without you being in your bed and that pains me. i just wanna be in your arms again irritating and cackling at grandad, back when things were happy. it’s been awful, especially recently when i’ve left school but realised you never saw me start it and i had prom yesterday and it didn’t go very well but i know you would of made me happier and helped mum get me ready. i just want you back nanna so badly. i’ve been messaging your phone and it kills to see the not delivered sign. i wish you could see this.
i don’t knke how to move past loosing you and grandad and it hurts more and more everyday without you by my side. i just want to feel your love again. there’s so much i want to tell you about but i know ill never get an answer and i can barely listen to our song because im sitting waiting for you to sing but it never comes.
i miss you so much nanny more then anything in this world . thank you for being in my life although it was short lived and should of lasted many lifetimes but i’ll meet you in the next one. i pinky promise

Can't believe it's been 5 years since I last saw you. Sometimes I still forget your not here and think of ringing you and dad. I miss you every single day and always remember things that you used to say to me. I miss your advice even tho I didn't always take it lol. You have always been the bravest person I've ever met, and despite being ill you never lost your beautiful smile. I've got married to the most amazing man, you and dad would love him and he looks after me the way you would want me looked after. There's so much I want to tell you, I've often needed your advice and wise words over these past 5 years, you always knew what to say. I like to think you'd be proud of me for the decisions I've made.
Even though your not here in person I often see a white feather and know your still here watching over me. On your birthday 3 beautiful white feathers fell past the front window and I knew it was you and dad sending a message that your still here.

Just want you to know how very much I love and miss you, not only today but always ❤️

Just wanted you to know mum that I miss you and dad every single day. It’s harder today on your anniversary but it hurts every day that you’re not still here. I’ve needed your advice and guidance and probably more than a little bit of your straight talking words over the last few months. I just miss my mum. I wish I was the strong brave mum you were. I hear you in my head every day but it’s not the same as having you here. I hope I haven’t let you down. I love you mum xx

Hi nan,
It's 1:30am and I can't sleep, and I guess it's kinda strange to think it's been five years today.
No matter how much time passes or how much changes, it never really seems real.
It's funny because there are so many things that I look back on and feel like I took them for granted. I always enjoyed yours and grandads company, but I feel like I should have taken the time to appreciate you both more.
I miss everything about you both. The sleepovers at yours. Fruit salad drenched in cream - I'm sure it was your attempt to get us to eat something healthy! Days spent watching Primeval and Ferngully. Birthday buffets. Decorating your house at Christmas. Playing with that toy castle and the little knights. Sneakily eating grandads shredded wheats. Riding our bikes around the garden. Filling a washing up bowl with water and dragging our wet feet across the paving slabs. You making me food parcels when I'd come home from uni.
I miss being able to tell you all the things I've been doing, and chatting to you about what you've been up to. I suppose sending yet another a text that I'll never get a reply to does help - it's not the same.
I'd like to think you'd be proud of all of us for everything that we've all done in the past five years. It just hurts knowing you weren't here to be with us through it.
I love you both so much, and I miss you both every single day.
Love you always 🩷xx

I miss you today, tomorrow and always Nan.. 🤍💜

Hi nanny, I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I guess it’s just for closure and hope that you can read this and the fact I miss talking to you.
Guess what nanny, I’ve got a boyfriend, he’s lovely and you would of loved him.
Im in a friend group that loves me and looks after me.
Im sitting my GCSEs this year and I’m really scared. I wish I could hear you cheering me on, I don’t want to sit them, im too scared that I won’t do you proud. I hope I make you proud, I know I’ve not been the best daughter recently especially when mummy is struggling but I hope you can forgive me.
I just want my nanny here.
I just want you back.
I want my happiness back.
My hope and braveness that was once shown in you.
Oh god how I miss you.
I love you eternally don’t ever ever for a minute doubt that. I’ll never ever forget you.
Until we meet again my lovely nanny ❤️

hi nanny,
i really flipping miss you.
i know you’d tell me off for saying that so im sorry but i just want my nanny back. i just want a cuddle from you that’s all i want. i wanna be in your arms and you telling me it’s going to be okay and feeding me scones with the cream we made. i think god was so cruel to take you from me. i will never forgive him for that. i hope you won’t forget me. i love you nanny

i need you now more then ever before nanny

Nan,
I really wish you were here yesterday to be part of mums special day, it’s so unfair that you and grandad aren’t here anymore.
Mum looked beautiful, and she’s so happy and I wish you was here to see that.
I hope you had a little boogey up there last night with us and dragged grandad up haha.
Love you always nan
You’ll always live on in our memory, hearts🤍