Wayne Bernard Mills (7 Aug 1950 - 3 Jan 2019)

Brothers' Eulogy,

Amongst many things, Wayne was the eldest of four brothers. On behalf of Geoffrey, Antony and I we want to share with you our joy in the gift that Wayne’s life was to us.

Wayne had the unenviable task of being the eldest- a responsibility he accepted with pride, he recalled only recently when talking to Geoff an occasion when he and Geoff would go over to the green having set fire to the fields behind the house and fight with the Fitzgerald brothers. Even as a 68 year old man his mantra that nobody messed with his brothers was as strong now as it had always been.
For us brothers, Wayne has set the boundaries - making our lives easier as he trail blazed his way through adolescence. He did at times, set the bar quite high - playing poker in the bike sheds, dismantling the treasured lambretta scooters of the 5th form students - all contributed to Wayne being expelled from high school. But on a positive note - Wayne had shown us brothers what not to do and up to this very day. I can confidently say on behalf of myself, Geoffrey and Antony - none of us played poker in the bike sheds whilst dismantling scooters or get expelled, so thanks Wayne for showing us the way.

Saturday afternoons were always when the four of us couldn’t wait for mum and dad to go shopping ( as they did as regular as clockwork ) - this would give us a clear couple of hours for the four of us to cause havoc, we would split into two teams, it always tended to be Wayne and myself versus Geoff and Antony - remembering that Antony and I were only about 6 or 7 at the time, we would jump onto the backs of Wayne and Geoff as knights on our white stallions and fight for the honour of bragging rights. Looking back on those afternoons it is clear to me that both Wayne and I had a natural affinity to manual work - whereas Geoff and Antony were destined for working life’s of sitting behind desks, where the heaviest things they would lift would be their cups of tea!. I must have had a sense of Wayne’s physical and mental strength, because as far as I can remember - Wayne and I always managed to beat the office softies. But not once did those play fights end in anything but laughter and happiness of being in each other’s company.

As the eldest - he was at times bossy, always right and perhaps sometimes a pain to us younger siblings, but with an unquestioning loyalty to us his brothers. His passing will leave an emptiness in our lives but his strength and resilience will live and guide us for all our days.

Wayne Bernard Mills he ain’t heavy he’s my brother.

A Celebration of Life
For Wayne Bernard Mills
7th August 1950 – 3rd January 2019

Gedling Crematorium,Nottingham
4.40pm, 18th January 2019

Three Little Birds’ by Bob Marley

Good afternoon, my name is Brendan and it is my privilege to welcome you to our celebration of life for Wayne Mills here in this ceremony and afterwards at ‘The Longbow Pub,Calverton Road,in Arnold.
We extend a special welcome to Wayne’s family who have come from London. To His Mum and Dad, Bernard and Terry, and to his younger brothers Geoffrey, Ian and Anthony. Ian will speak on behalf of his brothers a little later.
The sentiment expressed in our entrance music were Wayne’s very words to Nicky, ‘don’t worry’. Wayne did not want to burden anyone. And he was not a man who appreciated what he might call ‘fuss’. Indeed he expressly requested a ‘simple funeral’. In this ceremony his family seek to respect that wish of Wayne’s, balanced with their desire to remember and celebrate the life of the man they loved.

Wayne’s daughter Sam is going to share some of her memories of her Dad on behalf of her Mum Nicky, her brother James, and Wayne and Nicky’s granddaughters Lucy their youngest and Sophie otherwise known to Wayne as ‘Young Skywalker’ For those of you who don’t know Wayne was a Star Wars nut

Wayne initially moved to Nottingham to do a course. What kept him in Nottingham was a lady. He met Nicky when she was out with her friend celebrating their birthdays in the Flying Horse pub near the square in Nottingham and they married 3 years later on 10th November 1973 in Croydon.

One of Wayne’s annual rituals was a bet on the Grand National. In 1975 Wayne told Nicky that he had had a bet on an absolutely sure thing. Red Rum had won in 1973 and 1974 and was favourite in 1975. So Wayne put a weeks wages on Red Rum secure in the knowledge he was guaranteed to win. Red Rum came second and Nicky’s reaction is not written down here!

James was 16 when his Dad encouraged him to come and work with him and train as a plumber. Wayne was not the easiest of people to work for, in fact he could be pretty hard both as a boss and a Dad. That said James worked with his Dad for 7 years and he would be the first to acknowledge that the training and experience has served him very well. Wayne was not given to public demonstrations of emotion or praise but he did say that ‘James is a better plumber than me’ and he was undoubtedly very proud of his son.

Another of Wayne’s great pleasures was travel. He and Nicky, Sam and Sophie took a 9 week trip around the world taking in New York, Fiji and Sydney amongst other destinations. They were joined by James for Christmas and New Year. New Years Eve in Sydney was especially memorable and not simply because of the fireworks. They strolled down to the Opera House that day to have look at one of the world’s stand out buildings only to discover that one million people had got there before them. The Sydneysiders had arrived with tables and picnic hampers whereas the Nottingham pommies had arrived with a few packets of crisps. And no chairs. And so they stood for 12 or 13 hours until the fireworks lit up the night sky.

It wasn’t until semi retirement that Wayne discovered a new and perhaps his most unlikely past time- gardening. He loved it. In fact he said that if he’d known he’d like it this much he would have retired earlier’. He spent all day in the garden with his Radio tuned to ‘Gold’. In the last year he decked and landscaped the garden but when he and Nicky went on holiday to Marrakech he hadn’t finished the project. Wayne was not that well when he travelled but upon his return received the most marvellous gift. For James who wasn’t really a gardener but was ever conscious of his Dad’s declining health had taken a weeks holiday from work and finished the landscaping. Wayne was absolutely stunned and deeply moved . For the first time that any of his family could recall Wayne was actually moved to tears.


Tribute Part 1 by Wayne’s brothers Geoffrey,Ian and Anthony (read by Ian )
Tribute Part 2 by Wayne’s daughter Sam

Before we bid farewell to Wayne his family would like to express their appreciation for the care Wayne received. To Fiona who was Wayne’s McMillan Nurse,to all the staff at Hayward House too numerous to mention by name and to Jo, Wayne’s hospice nurse who arrived at Wayne and Nickys house shortly before Wayne died and helped calm him and the family at such a testing time. To one and all a very big thank you.

BLESSING OF REST
We are coming to the close of our ceremony and it is time to say goodbye to Wayne.
To everything there is a season, there is a time to live and a time to die. Here now in sorrow but not in fear, and above all in love and in gratitude for Wayne’s presence in your lives we bid him farewell.
Let us leave here today in the knowledge that he led a rich life in the company of the family he loved and who loved him.

We will close our ceremony with a short poem entitled ‘Feel No Guilt In Laughter’;
Feel no guilt in laughter, he’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly re-capture a time, an hour a day,
That brings him back so clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely in your heart.

Rockin’ All Over The World’ by Status Quo

Dad's Eulogy

I’m Samantha, Wayne’s daughter. Only one person ever called me Samantha & that was dad and that usually started with a “Oh Samantha”.

When thinking about writing this, I looked up the word dad on the internet and all these words came up:
A father, guardian, protector, carer & friend.
A teacher, mentor, coach, taskmaster & listener.
A sports fanatic, mower man, king of corny jokes & crap facts, taxi, bank, part time fun guy & part time fun police.
Tough on the outside, but soft in the middle.

I must admit, dad did tick a few of those boxes and I have a couple more to add:
Stubborn, opinionated & always right.

We have so many memories and I wanted to share some with you today.

As children, me & James learnt early on that if mum said no, dad might say yes.
He soon cottoned on to that though and then he would always ask, what did your mum say?

Dad worked away a lot when me & James were small, but on a Friday, we would be so pleased to see him & always greeted him with, “not that we’ve missed you, but what have you bought us dad?’’

You see as children & as adults, dad was always there to lend a helping hand if we needed it, we only ever had to ask - however it was the asking that I feared as it always came with a lecture.

I used to go to the pub quiz with my friends on a Sunday night & when we got stuck, I’d text him the questions & wait a few minutes for his reply. You see dad was sat at home on the computer or checking reference books for the answers - he even changed the internet from dial up to broadband to get the answers quicker.
We won most weeks but he’d always be up when I got home eager to know how we got on.

In 2005, dad asked us all a question - if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
So, we sat down & made our lists which dad took & built us a custom made round the world trip. It was the most amazing, craziest, scariest thing we ever did, but wow we made some great memories

On the 1st January 2016, mum & dad embarked on a 3-month holiday in Cyprus. Dad wanted some winter sun, but little did he know that Cyprus was to have its coldest winter in decades, so instead of sunning by the pool, he was wrapped up with the heating on. That time away gave mum & dad some precious memories which mum will hold close to her heart forever.

To quote a friend of mine, ‘’your dad told me that his family made working worthwhile as he did it for them’’, & dad did, he gave us the greatest gift anyone could give, memories.

Now dad was poorly for a long time & everyday was a struggle, but he always tried to make light of the situation by planning things & setting himself goals.
One goal he had was seeing his eldest granddaughter Sophie move into her first house with her boyfriend Lewis. After months of delays they finally moved in on the 10th December & he was so proud.
Next goal was Christmas, dad wore his Christmas jumper with pride & opened presents with us, Lucy made dad a special bracelet, he’s still wearing it now, we had a magical day.
Next it was New Year’s Eve & my G’ma & G’dad, aunties & uncles made the trip up north from London to join us & we saw the new year in as a family together.

Dad had finally reached his goals and didn’t need to fight anymore & passed away peacefully at home.

Today we celebrate his life as he wanted us to - no fuss & no worries, but I know that he would want us to take away happy & funny memories of him.

I end with a quote from YODA
“Soon will I rest, yes, forever sleep. Earned it I have. Twilight is upon me, soon night must fall.”

So sorry to have missed waynes funeral. He was a lovely man, and it was privilege to have known him for 30 years.

Stay strong x

💔 but I make you this promise Wayne that I will have the strength to carry on. Love and miss you always xx

Yesterday was the hardest thing we have ever done Dad, but we came together as family & friends to celebrate your life & say our goodbyes. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house, but we laughed at the stories that Geoff, Ian & Antony told. You truly were one of a kind dad, but one of four. Your brothers did you so proud.

Lucy wanted balloons yesterday, so she wrote on a blue one that she loved you.
Nathan, Moo, Millie & Grace had balloons too, they wrote messages on them. We let them go and watched them go to heaven to be with you.

I know you told me a few weeks ago that you will always be in my heart, but yesterday it feel like I left a piece of it with you, look after it for me Dad x



You held my hand when I was small
You caught me when I fell
The hero of my childhood and later years as well

Every time I think of you, my heart just fills with pride
I’ll always miss you so much dad, but I know you’re by my side

In laughter and in sorrow, in sunshine and in rain
I know you’re watching over me until we meet again

Sending my love at this time of sadness xx

Sending all my love at this time of sadness xx

Well brother in law,
Today l come and say my final good bye
In my heart and thoughts you will be for ever
The memories that you have given, we will cherish for ever
The family that you and Nicky have given to us, are a dream come true
You did it your way brother in law and that's what l loved about you
With great respect and love, l say goodbye to my mate
Love from, your brother in law

Our Thoughts & Love are with all the family at this sad time.
From Chris, David, James & Ruth

Uncle Wayne, we will miss you so much and I have so many fond memories of you from all our amazing times together as a family. Today we celebrate your wonderful life, we will talk about all the fun times and all the times you made us laugh. Forever in our hearts and memory. All my Love, rest easy Uncle Wayne xxxxx

Thoughts & Prayers are with all the family at this sad time.

We will all miss you Uncle Wayne, and it feels as if a huge part of our family has been lost.
I will always admire your strength, no nonsense approach, and remember all of the good times we all shared together.
There will never be another one of you, and you are forever in our hearts.
Love Jon & Carla

So Big Brother, the man I looked up to , who inspired me, and taught me so many things, For that I am truly grateful.
Your passing is going to leave such a big hole in our lives, but you will always be in our hearts and thoughts forever. Rest in peace Wayne.
Love Geoff and Carole

So Big Brother, the man I looked up to , who inspired me, and taught me so many things, For that I am truly grateful.
Your passing is going to leave such a big hole in our lives, but you will always be in our hearts and thoughts forever. Rest in peace Wayne.
Love Geoff and Carole

When the Doctor put you in my arms he said " Mrs Mills you have a Wee Bonnie Laddie". From that moment on you have been a shining light in our lives. You have brought into the family a most wonderful wife and family of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We are forever grateful to you for being you.
We are so proud of you, and you will always have a special place in our hearts.
Love you - Mum and Dad