Kathleen Gray (24 Jan 1930 - 19 Dec 2025)

In loving memory of Kathleen Gray who sadly passed away on 19th December 2025

Good afternoon, everyone.
We are here today to remember and celebrate the life of Kathleen Mary Gray. Kathleen was born in Strood on the 24th January 1930 and was the oldest child of Arthur Reginald and Edith May Louise Woodhams. Kathleen was sister to Brenda, Audrey, who sadly died in August 2022, twins Janet and John, Ralph and foster sister Renee.

Growing up in a busy household, as the eldest child, Kathleen was often relied upon to look after her siblings whilst her father was working at the Paper Mill and latterly the quarry. Money was tight and Kathleens wage from the Basted Paper Mill, where she worked from the age of 14, was very welcome. Two parents and 7 children in a 3-bedroom house meant that it was a little crowded which meant the girls had to bed share in one room whilst the two boys shared another. During the war they would all take refuge under a makeshift air raid shelter in the living room.

Kathleen was a keen table tennis player, often playing during her lunch times in the staff canteen at the paper mill where she worked with her sister Brenda. One day back in 1948, a young Mechanical Engineer, whose company had been contracted to commission new machinery to increase paper production, was challenged by Kathleen to a game. After several days of being challenged the gentleman finally relented and a lunch time game of table tennis became a daily event. Rumour has it that Kathleen always won!

Of course, this young gentleman was Stuart. Eventually, Stuart plucked up the courage to ask Kathleen to the pictures and so the 70-year romance began. Kathleen and Stuart were engaged that same year and Stuart moved into the family home at 8 Hill View, no doubt so that Edith could keep an eye on them and still benefit from Kathleens help around the house. Kathleen and Stuart were then married on the 15th July 1950 at St Mary’s Platt Church. The wedding was a small affair comprised of Kathleen’s family and Stuart’s mother, his brother John, an aunt and a colleague from his office. The wedding reception was catered for by Kathleens Mother, Edith, and held at 8 Hill View, Borough Green.

Their honeymoon was in Torquay where Kathleen had her first experience of open water swimming. This was not an enjoyable experience as it involved cap-sizing a pontoon and having to scramble back to the upturned pontoon and kick their way back to shore. This was Kathleens first and last experience of swimming until a family holiday to Spain 15 years later where she made it her mission to ensure her Children did not suffer the same fear of water and she taught them to swim as soon as they were able. Kathleen did eventually learn to swim at the Holiday Inn; however, she rarely ventured near the water again.

Initially Stuart secured a flat in London so that he could be near to his place of work, but this proved unpopular with Kathleen and her mother. Eventually Stuart was able to find two rooms to rent with a family in a house on the Tollgate estate in Borough Green and peace was restored! Then with a pending addition to the family, they moved to 47 Wickenden Road in Sevenoaks, before living in various properties in St Mary’s Platt and Borough Green through their marriage. Therefore, Kathleen never really moved away from friends and family in her home village.

Although their marriage was extensively happy it was not without its traumas. Most notably was the loss of a daughter Glenis 7 hours after she was born on 19th July 1952 and of Sharon, born on the 31st July 1956 but sadly passed away a month later and is buried at St Mary’s Platt with Kathleen’s parents and soon to be joined by Kathleen and Stuart. There was also at least one miscarriage and naturally these events were traumatic for both Kathleen and Stuart, but they hid their grief. Kathleen also had several health issues and as a result, Kathleen was not very active in later life and instead enjoyed TV sports, particularly football and wrestling; nobody sensible would dare sit next to Kathleen when she was watching wrestling as she would replicate the moves on any one nearby!

Kathleen was an avid quiz and game show fan and could astound people with her general knowledge and would be condemning of contestants who answered incorrectly. Kathleen was somebody who knew what she wanted and was not somebody to mess with. She had a mischievous, some might say wicked, sense of humour, and these personality traits may have passed to her sons in some measure.

However, there were joyous moments, and Kathleen was the very proud mother of Andrew, Adrian and Chris and her grandchildren, Kate and Phil, James and Sarah, and Luke and Alex and was always on hand with childcare support with the grandchildren when called upon. She also had a passion for Ice Cream, right up until a couple of days before she passed, Kathleen was still eating Ice Cream! Kathleen was an animal lover and for many years Kathleen had Yorkshire Terriers as a pet and bred from them on several occasions. On one occasion Kathleen demonstrated her midwifery skills by delivering 13 Greyhound puppies for a neighbour.

Stuart was often absent due to his work commitments, often overseas, and so Kathleen bore the greater load of raising her three sons which Stuart appreciated. His work allowed him to afford and indulge some of Kathleen’s multiple visits to Disney’s’ “It’s a Small World” in Florida and perhaps the trip of anyone’s lifetime to Hawaii. Kathleen also enjoyed many other foreign holidays including, a flight on Concorde to New York and return on the QEII and two extended visits to Brazil, where Stuart was posted by his company for a couple of years. These trips went some way to compensating her for the long periods of separation from Stuart. With Stuart often working abroad Kathleen ran the home operation and Stuart was very proud of how she raised the children and coped with the daily challenges without him. In Stuart’s memoirs he recalls an example of Kathleen’s self-reliance where he called from Newcastle to learn that the chimney was on fire and the call was cut short. He was amazed and proud to learn later that she had doused the fire, called the fire brigade, put the children to bed and had started to clear the sooty mess, all while he finished his dinner!

Sadly, Stuart died in April 2018, after 68 years of marriage, and so Kathleen has spent the last 7 years on her own. However, Kathleen did enjoy the loving support of her family, especially her sister Janet who was a neighbour at Roman Court for several years and her lifelong confidant and friend. Although Kathleen was regularly visited by her sons, her grandchildren and several friends, she struggled without her husband and lifelong partner and expressed many times a wish to join him. It is perhaps no coincidence that Kathleen’s passing on 19th December was also the 25th anniversary of her own mothers passing, also at Harpwood House, and you can’t help but think that Edith was calling to her that it was time to let go.

And so, after a very full and happy life of nearly 96 years we finally join in saying goodbye to Kathleen, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother and a grandmother.