Alma Hollands (7 Dec 1940 - 27 Oct 2025)

Alma Butler was the youngest daughter born to Thomas and Sarah, with an older sister Mary. She was born in December 1940 during World War Two in front of a coal fire in a two up two down house in Barry, South Wales.
Mum’s early life was one of hardship, poverty and rationing due to the war and post-war rebuild. However, her father was a street cleaner and had a hard working, active and determined attitude that rubbed off on Mum.
Mum was born deaf in one ear but adapted to this by reading lips. Over the years this did cause issues where she either misheard or interpreted something differently, which caused her reactions to this to not always be understood and was a challenge for her. Later hearing aids certainly helped improve this. She also told me that she was naturally left-handed but during the 1940’s and 50’s it was common for children like Mum to be forced to write with their right hand as left-handiness was considered to be a disability. She ensured that Sue and I chose our own preferred hands for writing by getting us to pick up pens.

This did not deter her from being a naturally gifted sewer and knitter that resulted in her securing a job as a seamstress in a factory when she left school at 15, and was utilised by Sue and I for our sewing related homework in the 1980s. Additionally, she also worked in a local corner shop, which she enjoyed.

Mum was a regular attendee to the local Methodist Church and this is where her love of hymns came from. Throughout Mum’s life if a certain hymn was mentioned she would start singing it and I would either chuckle or join in. It was through attending a Methodist Guild Holiday in Swanage, Dorset, 1960 with her friend that resulted in her meeting Ronald Castle and a blossoming relationship that resulted in her first marriage on 21st July 1962 at Holton Road Methodist Church Barry, with her sister Mary as maid of honour. Their wedding was even reported in the local newspaper.
Following their marriage, now as Alma Castle she moved from her parent’s house in Barry to live with Ronald and his mother Emma in Uppermill, Yorkshire. Grandma Castle was diagnosed with cancer early into our parents’ marriage and Mum nursed Grandma until her death in 1963. This was very difficult for our parents who also had the painful experience of the death of their first daughter Wendy in August 1965 at the age of 3 months.

On a happier note they became parents again in 1967 when my older sister Sue was born in Uppermill. Mum and Dad continued to have an active life with the Methodist Church and Father climbed the ranks within the local council as a chartered engineer, supported by Mum. This led to a promotion as a borough engineer in Denbigh North Wales at the end of the 60s where I was born in 1970.

By the mid 70s Dad achieved another promotion as Deputy Director of Technical Services in Chatham Kent and bought a home in Smarden Walk, Rainham, Mum remained for the rest of her life living in Rainham. The Methodist theme continued with us all attending Rainham Methodist and in addition to his job my father became a local Methodist lay preacher until his sudden death in 1977 at the age of 44. Mum was widowed at the age of 36 with 2 young children. This had a severe impact on the family dynamic. My mum could not drive and was faced with much tribulation during this time, another very difficult time of her life. However, the Church and her friends were very supportive to us.

Due to hardships that Mum had previously faced she was determined to do her best for us and was well provided for by my Father and encouraged us to be as independent as possible just in case something happened to her, I really appreciate that she did this.
She sought to pass her driving test, we won’t mention how many times she had to take it . As soon as she passed she bought her first car from her driving instructor which was a bright yellow Ford Fiesta, nicknamed the ‘Yellow Peril’. Many a scary incident we had in that one, particularly in Wales when visiting our grand-parents and cousin Katalin. The car was not keen on hills and liked to roll down backwards but Mum coped well with us screaming in the back 
Our first holiday abroad was with her long time friend Doreen and her 2 children to Italy and was the start of Mum seeing different parts of the world.
Mum continued to attend Rainham Methodist where she became actively involved with a connected local organisation called HANDS that cared for and visited the elderly in the local area. Little did Mum know at the time but by caring for lady named Alice Hollands would lead to Mum meeting Alice’s son Brian in 1984 and their subsequent marriage in December, 1986. Mum’s, life now as Alma Hollands had taken on a new, exciting and unexpected turn, along with a family much larger than what she was used to.

This included three older step children, Graham, Paula and Gill. This was a time of marriages, including my own to Lance but also saw the arrival of 13 grand-children and a number of great-grandchildren over the following decades. Family were a very important part of Mum and Brian’s life and involved many a day out with different members (often with a steam train theme and dinners out, which were a passion of Brian’s).
Mum’s second marriage also provided her with the opportunity to travel the world, encouraged by Brian. The first memorable holiday together was in the late 80s to Australia for 6 weeks to visit Brian’s Aunty Clarice.
Brian had moved in to Smarden Walk when they got married but by 1995 they decided it would be good to have a home that they bought together, the result of which was a bungalow in Windermere Drive that became their last home.
In 1998 Mum was able to fulfil a childhood dream by travelling with Brian to Zimbabwe and experience a safari, where they saw elephants, lions and giraffes up close and also got have a photo taken in front of Victoria fall’s, which was displayed on their lounge wall for all to see.
Mum and Brian continued to travel the world, particularly after Brian retired and this enabled them to form many memories and take lots of photos.
Additionally, Mum and Brian became active members of various clubs including Scottish dancing, short Mat bowls and whist drives, which Mum and Brian ran for over a decade on a Tuesday evening, which we also attended for a while. Mum enjoyed keeping her mind active with the accounting side of the whist drive takings.
In 2011 Mum and Brian celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary with a big family dinner and lots of joy and laughter. Sadly Brian’s health deteriorated in the following years and Mum became a widow for the second time in 2014.
helped provide her with strength and determination to manage on her own and be independent.
As a result she decided to buy what was to be her last car that like her first one also had a nickname this time based on the registration that had the letters VWA. Mum interpreted as ‘very worried Alma’ but despite her concerns about driving the car enabled her to get out and about and fill up her week with activities.
Mum also entered the digital age with a mobile phone and IPAD when COVID hit and this enabled her to communicate with family and friends remotely, this continued with us and family outside of Kent, and meant we got see each other face to face. Life is not the same without those catch ups.
As a very private person Mum did not really say much about her health but the diagnosis of melanoma started a deterioration in the last few years but Mum did not give in to this and kept up activities best she could.
She continued to do her own shopping & was a loyal & regular customer at Hales & Moore fishmongers for over 40 years. When I contacted them they said that they ‘are devastated to hear about Alma and have fond memories; especially always trying to give her a carrier bag for her fish and getting a smack on the back of the hand!’ – it became an ongoing joke between them .
She wanted to survive long enough to see the final results of my honours degree that was due to finish in September 25. In God’s providence Mum was able to continue supporting me through my final year, always looking forward to hearing my assignment grades and gave a little clap when they were good and encouragement if they were not. In our last conversation I was able to confirm my final result to her based on what I had calculated. The official result came through the day she died. Mum was such a great support with my degree and helped to motivate me with it.
Mum was never one to let her poor health get the better of her and she was not one for giving in. She persevered this year and continued to go out for days with different family members including one of her great-grandsons, Theodore who was a regular feature in her life.
Our last meal with Mum was at the Bell her favourite restaurant as it was with other family members and friends, so it is fitting that her funeral reception is to be held there, thanks to Gill, Sarah and The Bell for arranging this.
I’m pleased that Mum was able to attend our Church in the New Forest and her comment was that she felt the Minister was speaking directly to her. Mum said that she felt like she was going home in relation to the after-life and I hope and trust in the Lord alone on this matter.
Most importantly I would like to thank God for blessing me with a wonderful and supportive Mother who is very much missed.