Dad,
I don't really know where to begin with this, but here we go ...
Firstly, I'm really sorry for not being able to come and see you. I wanted to be able to say this to you face-to-face, and to see that you were "ok" and at peace. Please try to send me a 'sign' when you are ready and able. I know you really fought at the end, but I hope you didn't suffer too badly.
Secondly, I want to apologise for not being as 'present' as I should've been in more recent years. I know that we had a pandemic to contend with, and that this coincided with you deteriorating (in one way or the other), but I should've tried harder. I was aware of this when you were 'here,' but even more so now that you've gone.
Truthfully, I found it a bit hard to 'read' and communicate with you at times. I always knew that you cared and that you loved me, but sometimes that didn't come across particularly readily. That's not your fault, it's just the way you were made, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't find it difficult... Please know that I love you, today and always🖤
Thanks for the laughs (I will never forget yours!), and for teaching me the importance of appreciating the little things in life. I feel that's a bit 'lost' in today's world, but it's so, so important ... It's difficult to smile right now, but I will do my best to 'pick myself up' and carry on. I know that's what you would want me to do.
Love,
Natalie.x
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