Joyce (Greg) Debenham (2 Jul 1939 - 12 Mar 2023)
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In loving memory of Joyce (Greg) Debenham who died on 12th March 2023
Joyce was born to Alfred and Edith Gregory in September 1939, her father would later joke that ‘..she was born and world war 2 broke out.’ Although a joke it could not be further from reality. Universally known as Greg since schooldays she has been a ‘people person’ all her life. After the of trauma of having to leave nursing training because of her stammer, (it couldn’t happen today), she worked at Dr Barnardo’s orphanage and then trained as a cardiographer at Oldchurch Hospital where she spent three happy years. It was during this time that I came to know Greg, she was a frequent visitor to my parent's house as a friend of my sister. We married in 1962 and a year later Joanna was born, and Greg gave up work to be a full-time mother. Kate came two years later followed by Christopher and Emma.
Greg was involved with school parent committees and nursery groups until the late 70s when she began volunteering at Leigh community centre in a group for people with learning disabilities. This venture led to her being involved in the start up of Special Needs education at Southend Adult Community College. She became an associate tutor at the college championing the needs of her students until 1991 when she left to study Linguistics and Third World Studies at the University of East London. After graduating in 1994 she returned to the college as a tutor to continue the work she loved. Greg became a governor of the college until reaching retirement age after which she continued working as a volunteer until 2005.
In tandem with her college work Greg also volunteered for, ‘The Thursday Club’ for people with learning disabilities, at Leigh Community Centre where, with her long-term colleague Stella Holden she ran a writing group, amongst other activities, for the members. The club was dissolved in 2014 and Greg finally gave up work. She loved her work and for many, both students and colleagues, the impact she made in the field of special needs education was formidable and the lasting friendships she made are testament to this.
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Greg treated everyone with kindness and respect and was never judgmental. She was an inspiring individual. Rest in peace, Greg.
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Joyce was such a wonderful Aunty, her laughter and warmth will allways be with me.
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I have happy memories of working with Greg at the college. She was a great mentor when I was starting out as a tutor and such a kind and thoughtful person with a wonderful dry sense of humour. She will be much missed.
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With such happy memories of working with Greg and learning so much from her.
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Dear Greg, my kind and thoughtful friend for many years. I miss you.
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I met Greg at a book club and had a short but memorable acquaintance. Her dry humour and kindness added to the gaiety of our evenings and our discussions. A lovely person, who will be much missed.
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Greg was like a second mama to me and will be greatly missed by all. Many years ago, Greg and John allowed me to be a guest at their home, and I cherish the memories. She was both kind, patient and a great advice giver. RIP Greg.
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wrote
I met Greg at college in the 1990s and she became a good friend and colleague.
She meant so much to so many students as she enhanced their lives and outcomes and arranged additional activities for them to look forward to.
The happiest classes we took part in together were those involving singing and music making which were so popular with all the participants.
I will miss her as a trusted friend.
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My dear friend of 40+ years. I will miss you so much. We laughed and cried, ranted and raged together in our shared ambitions for the people we worked for and loved so much. You were brave and fearless in your support paving the way forward, so ahead of your time. I echo Sarah’s words in her message too - so well put. Yours and Johns support of my daughter Holly in her musical ambitions was so very much appreciated. Our shared love of the arts making for an even stronger bond.
Your love, friendship and understanding through difficult times kept me moving forward and will be forever remembered as will you. Xx
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With much Love - Tony, Jen, Sarah and James Withers.
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wrote
Dear Greg
When I moved to Leigh I first knew of you and John as the 'couple on the tandem'
Then I was fortunate enough work with you and meet John. Fabulous food; great gatherings. Soups and puddings; moral support one of my best & kindest critics. You were principled, brave, outspoken and tenacious. You taught me not to be scared of disabilities to but to understand and embrace strengths.
You lived your beliefs. Thank you Greg:
I laughed and learned.
I'm glad you are no longer in pain. Xx
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Comments
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Beautifully put Sarah. X
Three lovely friends now all departed - Chris, Greg and Sue. We had a lot of fun together. Love and best wishes to John and all of Greg's family. We are thinking of you xx
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