On behalf of my family, I would like to thank you for joining us today to celebrate the life of our dear Husband, Father and most of all Silly Granddad.
Dad was born in Holloway on 22nd May 1946 and like many others of his generation, Dad grew up playing on bomb sites and despite sweet rations eating sweets in his Auntie’s sweetshop. Although Dad rarely spoke about his childhood, he often told us stories of the times he spent with his twin cousins Fred and Jim.
Throughout his youth Dad enjoyed visiting many different Countries in Europe with his parents, but none of these holidays could match the Camping weekends the family spend down at Horsley in Surrey.
In 1963 Dad met a young good looking woman called Susan Seabrook at the Luxembourg Youth Camping International and although it took a little time for them to become a couple they eventually become engaged and married on 1st April 1967.
With Dad now a fully qualified toolmaker the happy couple settled into married life in their flat in Walthamstow and in 1968 they were blessed with their first child… Paul. Eager to give their baby boy every opportunity available to him, the family moved from London to Witham Essex.
In 1970 ‘the favourite’… I mean another additional to the Ryder family arrived... Neil. With the expanding family come a new house in Chelmsford and a job working for matchbox toys, heaven for two little boys mad about toy cars.
In 1976 a surprise hit the family with the birth of me (Claire)….a little Daddy’s girl to complete the family.
As Mum and Dad came from families who were campers it was only natural for the pair of them to continue this tradition. My brothers and I spend the summer weekend camping all over the UK, we swam in rivers, we build dames, we climbed trees, we walked for miles in the country, we’d see who could hold onto the electric cattle fencing for the longest and who could flick the dry cow pooh the furthest, But most importantly of all the family made lifelong friends and its lovely to see so many of you here today.
My Dad always said that camping kept his children from hanging round the streets and getting into trouble and as the three of us grew up, camping allowed us to explore Europe by going on the International Youth and National Camping meets our parents used to go on. The climbing trees and river swimming phase had now gone and were replaced with experiencing different cultures, meeting interesting friends and maybe the odd drink or two!
As the camping season drew to a close, our parents never said no to the motley crew of our friends who used to turn up every Friday night and not go home until late Sunday, these weekend consisted of drinking down the local pub. I still remember the cheers our friends used to give our Dad when he walk through the pub doors and join us for a drink, not to mention my dad jumping into the Pub’s children’s ball pit after one too many! Most weekends a roast dinner for five often went around twenty. Not once did our parents moan, but just counted the bodies in the sleeping bags on their living room floor in the morning to ensure we were all home safe and supplied us with endless cups of tea and breakfast to cure the morning hangovers.
The phase of being young free and single soon past and my brothers and I had to grow up and we left the family home. Mum and Dad never made any secret of how much they missed the three of us, but this meant a new phase for our parents. Dad began his passion for sailing again and played an active part in the Gemini project which teaches Adult with learning difficulties to sail.
Dad also began a new phase in his working life, he left the tool room where he developed the tool moulds for Britax children seats, jaguar car parts and GTX oil products and answered an advert in the national press for a Polymer Assistance in the London Metropolitan University. Dad loved this job, the staff he worked with and the commute into London. Dad’s engineering skills in the lab did not go unnoticed and he was soon offered a role teaching the young engineer students. I feel that this was where Dad should have always been and Dad’s talents were greatly appreciated at the university.
Dad’s engineering talents were also held in esteem by an up and coming artist who was having some trouble with his modern sculptures involving snooker balls. On speaking to my brother Neil about the issue, Neil said my Dad can do that for you. My Dad did do it and the exhibitions of the artist works was showcased in the Telegraph, with Dad even being invited to the exhibition open night to hob knob with the trendy individuals involved in the London Art scene.
My Dad’s greatest joy was the arrival of his grandchildren. The first being his big beautiful girl…… Niamh Lily Ryder. An angel blessed to our family. Then four years later Andrew and I top trump my brother by the arrival of our gorgeous twins girls Jessica Mae and Francesca Grace.
Mum and Dad played an active role looking after their girls. Dad loved having the girls at the weekend and coming home from work to find his grandchildren waiting for him for a cuddle and feed, but still got away with not changing one nappy!
Dad loved treating his girls to sweet at the weekend…….but leant that running around after three hyper girls one afternoon after given them a meter long blue jelly sweet didn’t mix. In March 2010 Dad was finally blessed with a Grandson, our big boy Samuel was born…at last a great mate for dad to play with. Dad’s retirement meant that he spent a great deal of time with Sam while the three girls were at school. I would often come home from work to find a large Cupboard box train or forts being built in the garden and the two of them hiding in it.
Our Husband, Dad and Granddad is so dear to our hearts and on the 1st July our hearts were torn apart, the man who taught us everything we needed to know and give us so much love, did the one thing he vowed not to do….he left us.
Some of you may recall the speech that Dad gave at Andrew and my wedding, saying some of the things he would miss about me not living at home.. well Dad here are some of the things we will miss about you…
The calling you…..Dad.
The kiss goodnight, telling us everything will be alright
Your whistle in the crowd so if we are lost you can be found
The calming of our stress, when our lives were sometimes in a mess
The working hard and taking care,
For being strong, and being there.
The staying close but letting go
The late night chats…your strong hatred for cats.
Your smile and your wit, your honesty and humour
The rubbing of our necks while we rested our heads on your bed
The holding of your hand and feeling safe
The final goodbye …..So perfectly spoken, for being brave and not being broken.
For being great, for being you.
For being the hero we always knew.
Chow Chow Good Bless Dad we will see you again!
We are here today to celebrate the life of our Dad, but Dad came as a pair and the family would like to say thank you to our beautiful Mum and Nanny who has been our pillar of strength during this nightmare, she has been there to wipe away the tears and held us while we screamed at the injustice of this shocking disease. In the heartbreak of our grieve we forgot that my mum has lost her soul mate of 55 years. I know we wished we could fix Dad… mum but we couldn’t, but Dad would want us to do our best to try and fix your broken heart.
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