Michael John Dowie (Passed away 8 Apr 2020)

Just heard the sad news about Michael, and send our most heartfelt sympathy to Chris, Pauline, Catherine and Edward.

danielob670@gmail.com

Thinking of you at this very sad time

We are thinking of you.

Thoughts and prayers for the whole family

Tribute to Michael by Christopher Dowie

Before I say a few words about Michael I want to say a big “thank you” to some special people who have been so much a part of his life.

To Michael’s sister, Catherine, for her wise counsel and loving support.

To his brother, Edward, who had the ability to turn the sunshine on when he appeared.

To Laura, who changed his life, giving him love and a purpose and a motivation that he didn’t have before.

To Bella, the chocolate Labrador, the dog he always wanted.

To Lily, the lively and cheeky Beagle.

To Tom the cat, who now lives in 5-star luxury with Helen, and to Tulullah, the lovely little kitten that he saved from drowning and who so sadly died as the result of a traffic accident.

And now to two very important ladies. First of all a really big “thank you” from the bottom of our hearts to Helen, who did so much for Michael - you have been a wonderful Mother in Law whose care of Michael was way beyond the call of duty.

And finally “thank you” to Pauline who has cared so much for Michael day by day since last November - Michael did so value what she did for him - on the few occasions she did manage to get back to Dorset he was determined to be well so that she could get that much deserved space.

And an extra “thank you” to Joyce for her help in walking Bella and Lily so often.

As Pauline and I sat by Michael’s bedside in Hayward House we recalled many times in his childhood - times when he disappeared, causing panic among the rest of us; happy holidays in the caravan; living in school grounds in Croydon with the freedom to roam and explore that this offered; my mother’s attempts at teaching him to play the piano; his time in the choir of Wimborne Minster - I could go on - so many memories!

When Michael was 17 he got a temporary job at the Freight Office of Brittany Ferries in Poole which lasted for around 16 years! But then, after all the years at Brittany Ferries, there was something missing in his life, and I don’t mean the dog that we wouldn’t let him have. No, there was something else, and it was a little while before Pauline and I discovered what it was. I think it was Edward who let the cat out of the bag. Michael had met Laura and their relationship blossomed.

Some time after this Michael moved up to Mansfield and he and Laura set up home together with the addition of Bella, the adorable and very excitable little Chocolate Labrador. Things were beginning to fall into place and they were married on 1st March 2013 - a very happy day.

Laura was at the centre of his life and he began to realise that she needed more help than he was able give her as well as doing a full-time job so it made sense to give up his work and to become her carer. They, together with the lovable Bella and the cheeky Lily, had a happy life together, holidaying several times in Centre Parcs and in a cottage in Yorkshire which they particularly enjoyed.

When Laura died, and as a result of his experience as her carer, Michael found a new vocation into which he launched himself 100%, uncharacteristically talking at great length about his work - it all meant so much to him. We were so proud of him when he rang in April 2019 to tell us that he had been promoted to the position of Senior Support Worker / Security Lead at Elysium Healthcare. Life can be so cruel as it really wasn’t very long after that when his cancer was first diagnosed.

During these last few months Michael has been so positive, not accepting defeat, determined to overcome all odds. After the first consultation with his Oncologist, he said to me over the phone, “It’s not too bad” - so typical of his positivity. During his life things happened to Michael and each time he seemed to have the ability to move on and get on with it.

The last few months were a great struggle for Michael and he had to endure a great deal of pain. The cancer spread ever more quickly and became very aggressive. The end came rather more quickly than we had expected, but we thank God that we had one more week with Michael in the hospice when we were able to talk to him and hold his hand. At first he did seem to know us and he did recognise and name Catherine and Tom when we showed him photos of them. But as the week wore on he became more and more sleepy and the end was very peaceful.

Very sadly, Catherine and Edward can’t be with us today but they wanted me to read a message from them:-

Mike was the middle child and he was constantly reminding the whole family of how hard done by he was and of the fact that he was always the one that got the blame for everything – although usually it was his fault!  That is apart from the times when Cath, annoyed by him at a young age and by her own admission, would hit him and then cry so that he would get into in trouble. Thankfully that had stopped by the time Ed came along although it sometimes felt like Mike’s sole purpose in childhood did appear to be annoying his older sister!

There was many a family meeting during his teenage years when he would ask “why do I always get the blame?” and then stomp off! These meetings routinely finished with everyone falling out and often someone in tears!  The joys of family life!

  But despite the fact that Mike was that “difficult middle child”, our childhood was happy and fun and full of wonderful memories. Cath says, these included making up dances to Abba’s “Supertrouper”, riding our bikes around the estate, singing along to “Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep” and the Barron Knights, buying first records together – “Hello” by Lionel Ritchie and “Save my Love” by Rene and Renata; holidays in the caravan; making up weddings for Sindy and Action Man; sneaking in through the window one night after ignoring Mum’s call for us to come in as we were having such a good time playing with our friends; and a particular favourite was Mike getting drunk on New Year’s Eve and going around hugging everyone and saying how much he loved them. He was incredibly loving and sweet at times.

  Ed also has so many funny and fun memories of things he and Mike did together. He said - “for a good few years we were quite inseparable. One random memory that perhaps exemplifies our relationship was the night we went to a 24-hour Tesco together. I don’t even know if we needed anything, but we were having such fun walking up and down the aisles (entirely sober I might add), commenting on all the different types of cheese there were, which products we’d had, which ones we didn’t like, which ones we were indifferent to, that by the time we left the shop, it was 3 hours later.  I think we left with a pack of butter in the end. Like I said, we didn’t even really go there for any purpose, it was just fun to hang out together and talk silly. But we didn’t have the opportunity to hang out anywhere near as much once we were living in different places, though it was always the same as soon as we saw each other again. We always had the ability to talk nonsense with each other, perhaps to the annoyance or bemusement of others around us (which Cath agrees with!). I love you Mike and I will miss this most of all.”

  Catherine goes on - We were so pleased for Mike when he moved out of home to live with Laura.  Although most of our amazement was at the fact that he kept the house he shared with Laura so clean and tidy.  This was the person who was so untidy at home and never used to take dirty dishes out of his bedroom.  Mum routinely had to go in there when there no clean mugs left in the house to find 10 or 12 stacked up in his bedroom!  This was the effect that Laura and responsibility had on him and he rose to the challenge and looked after her so well, and she looked after him too.
 
We were so proud also of how he adapted and took on his new career as a carer after Laura died.  We know how hard he worked and what an amazing job he did. We loved the fact that he talked nineteen to the dozen about his work : he obviously had so much passion for it and it gave him a purpose again. We were so proud too when he got his promotion and we knew he had such a great future ahead in that role.  It’s such a shame that he wasn’t able to fulfil that due to his illness, but even at his lowest points, he still talked about going back to the job he loved.
 
Mike was a bit of an enigma to us in many ways and there were times in the past when we didn’t see as much of him as we would have liked.  However, in recent years we have both become so much closer to him and we are so grateful for that time.  We treasure the time we spent with him particularly in the last few months and are so in awe of his resilience and sheer determination as he met each challenge head on. He never gave up. We are both so sad that we couldn’t be there with him at the end to hold his hand but we know he knew how much we loved him and we knew how much he loved us.  Rest in peace, Mike – you were more than a brother to us both – you were a true friend.

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Michael was taken from us far too early but now he doesn’t have any more pain and he is once again with Laura. He leaves behind a grieving family and a large number of friends and colleagues who have sent us wonderful tributes. We who are left must somehow follow Michael’s example and pick our lives up again. However, he is not gone as he will remain in our hearts for ever.

To sum up, here are a few words from a friend of Mike and Ed. He said:-

“Mike was a really special guy. A real one of a kind. No airs or graces about him, no artifice, no nonsense. Just a great person to know.
... just wanted to say... how proud I am to... have known Mike. 
I don't have a brother... but if I could chose a brother, I'd want one just like Mike...

Rest in peace Michael - we will never forget you - you will be forever in our hearts.

It was such a touching tribute yesterday and so heart warming to listen to Mikes father speak of the pleasure Mike experienced working for Elysium Healthcare. Mike was such a conscientious hard worker whom will be missed by many. Thank you to the family for permitting some of us to attend. Our thoughts are with you all.

In memory of Michael with love to your family Chris and Pauline at this sad time

In memory of Michael with love to Chris Pauline and family xx

Sincere sympathies to Christopher, Pauline and Family on this sad event.

Rest in peace Michael. You fought a brave fight and are now at peace.

In memory of Michael with love to Chris Pauline and family

Think of you at this sad time

Thinking of you Chris, Pauline, Catherine and Edward, especially today.

Michael is now at peace. Your devotion to him while the pandemic rages has been awesome and exemplary. With our love to Chris, Pauline, Catherine and Edward

Thinking of you all and sending our love. Barbara

We are thinking of you all at this sad time