Martha Henderson (26 Jun 1927 - 30 Mar 2020)

Martha you may be gone but I will never forget you.
Some of my best memories where with you and because of you.
I will be forever thankful that you where in my life.
Rest in peace, love Neil Anthony.

Here is the eulogy I said at Martha's funeral on Friday.

"Good afternoon,

Thanks to everyone who has come today to say goodbye and pay their respects to Martha. This bizarre situation we find ourselves in has dictated that many who would have liked to be here today are simply not allowed.
Some of us may remember how Martha used to say that she didn’t want a funeral. She wanted a party instead. And we will have that party, when the situation allows it. Perhaps though, this pared-down ceremony, is in a way, her wish being fulfilled. So those unable to attend may take comfort in the fact that they are merely observing her wishes. Albeit not through choice.
Thanks also to Father Edmund, for literally, putting yourself in harm’s way by doing this service today.

Martha was born in Glasgow in 1927 into what was, by her own account, a completely different world than that of today. Life expectancy for a female born then in the city was just 55 years. Using this metric alone, her death last week aged 92, shows she was indeed, exceptional.
Conditions were different then and the environment in which she grew up shaped her character. She was part of a dying breed of Glaswegians who are always quick to help those in need, share with those who go without and speak their mind without fear or favour.
I am sure all of us here today could recount occasions when Martha was there to help at a time of need. She always made herself available, never finding excuse, nor expecting anything in return.
Likewise, I am sure all of us at some point found ourselves on the receiving end of one of her observations. These were sometimes uncomfortable to hear, but rarely were they inaccurate. And being the person to say what had to be said was a point of personal pride for Martha. In the end I am sure we all benefited from these home truths.

Martha was a courageous woman and this courage was evident in more than just her words. She worked at the meat market from the tender age of 14 and then as a conductor on Glasgow’s corporation buses; jobs where one had to stand their ground firmly.
True evidence of her courage was shown in 1965, when aged close to 40, she struck out alone for a new beginning in New York. At the time such an action by a women on their own was almost unheard of.
There, with her work ethic and her determination Martha earned a successful living. More importantly, she provided the inspiration for her nieces and nephews to follow her tracks and uproot for new lives there. During those years she provided support and guardianship for 3 consecutive generations of her family. Her nieces and nephews, their children, and more recently, the children of those children.

Martha lived an eventful life, New York in the 80’s wasn’t exactly renowned for its tranquility. She loved a party. Almost as much as she loved closing a party with her own rendition of songs about her hometown. As any of us who heard her chanting “I belong to Glasgow” at the end of a night can attest.
She used to say “You only pass this way but once”, and she lived her life in keeping with that sentiment. She was brave and daring and took risks many others wouldn’t have considered.

In retirement Martha’s unending generosity was never more apparent. She spent her time on those around her, and her savings on holidays and cruises for her family. We will all have our own tales of her generosity and kindness, which went far beyond the norm. I’m sure no one can vouch for this characteristic more than my family. In our time of need Martha was there for us everyday without fail. Doing everything and anything she could to help. Looking back now I don’t know how, or if, we would have managed without her.
That she gave up so much of her time, one’s most precious commodity, which can never be repaid, during her retirement years, truly demonstrates her selflessness, and for that we will always be grateful.

In her latter years she lived in the Calton sheltered housing. There she had good neighbours and friends. So popular she was in fact, that after her last trip to New York three years ago they threw a party to celebrate her return, she had been away ten days.
She loved driving her scooter into the town to meet her friends and the freedom it provided her.
She loved having company and chatting. Telling the stories of her years in America and her many interesting life experiences, and I was only privy to the censored version of events.

Martha lived a long and healthy life. It was only at the very end that her age finally caught up with her. Even purchasing a treadmill in her nineties couldn’t stave off the forces of nature. But try she did.
She spent some time in hospitals, and although she was grateful for the care she received, she was never really comfortable there. She was a proud woman who was more comfortable helping others than being helped herself.
She often said during visits “I want to go home”. Despite her fragility and regardless of the risks, of which she was well aware, she fought hard to get home and she stayed there until the end; living in her own way, in her own home.

She will be missed by us all for her candour, her generosity, her reliability and her sense of humour.
She’ll live on in our characters, which she helped to shape, and in our memories.

So finally, let’s be thankful that we had her in our lives for so long and wish her safe passage to wherever it is she may be going next.

Thanks Martha and rest in peace"

Today we all said our goodbye to Martha. Under the circumstances limited family attended however we were all withinin our hearts there thinking about her. It was a tribute to a wonderful person who gave so much to so many. There will no doubt be more stories. I think this page has not only allowed us to remember Martha but connect and share her life her ledgen and how she shaped and changed all our lives from the slums of Anderson to millionaires mansions giving us all aspirations and making us all the people
we are today. Martha always wanted a party and not a funeral that 's a given with probably more stories to follow. Goodbye God Bless xxxx

Martha, Where do I begin?
Typically when you are writing to remember a person that was so special to you on the day of their burial, you begin with what labels them. Daughter, sister, aunt, etc. But Martha is different….my whole life I remember thinking it was so strange to me that Martha labeled herself as nothing more than a “pal.” I would have the same conversation with Martha over and over and say, “Martha you are my great aunt.” I would go as far as drawing my family tree. The conversation always ended the same, she would say in her deep scottish accent, “No, you’re nooh lucky enough to have the same blood as me. I have the blood of Anderson.” I always thought it was strange. Quite honestly it wasn’t until she passed that I realized what she meant. Martha had no labels because she honestly treated everyone as the same label. If you were good to Martha, she was good to you. Whether you were a niece, nephew, co-worker, neighbor, etc...it didn't matter. Martha truly appreciated the people that were there for her and labels really didn’t fit her.
How many people do you know that would pick up around 35 years of age and move to America? All alone! I don’t know many, but I know I am sure glad she did. If she didn't, I wouldn’t be here to tell her story. Martha is truly one of the bravest people I know. She took a risk and it turned out to be the best decision in her life. Martha LOVED America and truly appreciated everything about the country. Martha made quite a life for herself in America and touched so many lives along the way. I always remember as a kid how much Martha loved all the new things America had before Scotland. She took so much enjoyment out of shopping and packing big boxes of toys and sneakers to ship to Scotland. She would say, “Rose’s boys would love that remote control car.” We never went shopping without picking up a pair of shoes or a coat for Rose. Rose must have more shoes and coats than anyone in the world. She would always say, “Try these on….okay Rose’s foot is a wee bit bigger than yours so it should fit.” I never understood why we just didn’t have a size. She also enjoyed showing off the great country of America. She loved when family would come and she would take them to see The Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Niagara Falls, Washington D.C and the list goes on. She loved seeing people's faces when seeing something for the first time. She hated when you would say, “Thank you!” She would say, “stop thanking me.” Again, it was strange to me at the time but really her thanks was seeing you enjoy something. That’s what made her happy. Everyone knows and loves Martha! Whether you were “related” to her or just met her one time. She always left you laughing.
A day with Martha was always an adventure. Even as little kids she did things with us that I truly don’t know how she did it. She would take us as little kids to Manhattan all the time and not think twice about it. A bunch of kids riding the train and walking through the streets with all the hustling and bustling. She always gave us each $10 to go shopping at Christmastime at the Bag Man or Conways (her favorite stores) and we would buy presents for everyone. Martha always treasured those treats. If you stepped into Martha’s house and said you liked something, you walked out the door with it. She would give you anything, except something that one of the kids gave her from the cheap shop the Bag Man. She treated those items like they were worth millions. The things Martha allowed us to do were unbelievable. I remember she let us paint her backyard shed like Punky Brewsters. We painted it with all different colors to surprise her when she got home from work. She loved it and if I remember correctly, that night it rained and apparently we used indoor paint and the next morning the grass was quite colorful. Martha drove all the way to St. James on Friday nights after working to pick us up so we could spend the weekend with the Oppedisano girls. We wouldn’t get back to Martha’s until at least one in the morning. We always stopped at the Dunkin for a donut and coffee so Martha wouldn’t fall asleep. Martha was one of a kind!
Martha loved to travel but wouldn’t travel alone. Many of my favorite times with Martha was our trips to different places. If you seemed interested to go somewhere, Martha would take you. Martha took us so many places and those trips will always stay close in my heart. Just thinking about them, makes me smile. Her one liners were always priceless and her generosity was one of a kind. I know that anyone reading to this right now is thinking of a time they took a trip somewhere with Martha. One of the funniest I can think of right now is when Sherry, Jenny, Martha and I drove the coast of California and ended in Vegas after a 2 week journey. We laughed the entire time. We rented a big SUV and Martha shopped at every stop. When we pulled up at the Paris Hotel in Vegas which had just newly opened and was absolutely gorgeous, the valet opened the trunk and all of our bags fell out in front of the hotel. We couldn’t stop laughing as we picked up all the shoes and shopping bags. And then Martha said, “Pull yourself together girls. We are going into a very fancy hotel.” So we pulled ourselves together and walked through the lobby to the front desk and not realizing Jenny’s little backpack she was wearing wasn’t fully zipped and apparently Martha stuffed a bunch of rolls from the restaurant we went for breakfast and they all fell out of Jenny’s backpack as she walked through the lobby. Well, we laughed for days about that. The kind of laugh where tears roll down your cheeks. A trip with Martha was amazing!!! I loved going to Canada, where we nearly froze to death. We all packed swimsuits and sundresses but had to buy sweats and sweatshirts which we wore the entire time. The Disney Cruise was fantastic. She loved having all of her girls with her along with a 4 year old, a 3 year old and 3 one year olds. You all have a Martha story like that.
Martha was also the most honest person I have ever met in my entire life. Martha told you how she felt whether you wanted to hear it or not. Even in her nineties Martha was telling it like it was... Martha’s last visit to America was for her 90th and it was truly wonderful. We hosted a birthday party for her when she was on Long Island and it was so amazing to see all the people that came to celebrate her. We headed to North Carolina and celebrated her birthday and Thanksgiving. Everyone joined again and she was so happy! Tara and Justin practiced their yoga moves, while Melissa and Sherry cooked up a storm. She loved watching the Oppedisano and Ward girl’s kids grow up. She had so many generations as part of her life. We had fun taking Martha all about and doing all the things she loved to do. A good part of the time we went shopping and Martha kept looking for a special wrinkle cream. One that was REALLY good. I kept thinking….really Martha? Still looking for the best wrinkle cream? Anyway, I never thought too much about it and finally Martha found one that the lady at the store told her was really good. She put it away and we didn’t discuss it again. When Martha’s trip came to an end, I took her to the airport with tears as always in my eyes and said goodbye. I headed home and later that night as I stepped into bed, there….sitting on my nightstand was the cream. I thought, really? Those are the stories that will keep Martha alive.
Last January, Sherry and I took a last minute quick trip to see Martha. I am so thankful we did! We were only there a few days but enjoyed every minute with Martha. Martha wanted to take a trip to the city so Sherry and I bundled her up and wheeled her around the city. We laughed the entire time because all Martha did was yell at us. You should have seen us trying to push the wheelchair and making sure she didn’t fall out. The memories of Martha are so vivid in my head and I am truly grateful for that.
Martha passing is so sad, but Martha lived a long good life and there will not be a day that does by that I will not think of her and miss her so much. These stories will fill my void and I hope your stories will fill yours.

Dear Martha what a life well lived! To love and be loved by so many is such a wonderful tribute to your exceptional life. Sleep tight. Liz xx

To everything there is a season, a time for every matter under heaven; a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. -Ecclesiastes-

I can go on and on with all the memories I have with Martha I would rather tell you what she meant to me.
Martha was such important part of my life. She was not only a Great Aunt and Godmother to me she was my grandmother, mother, father, aunt, sister and friend you were my person, truly my everything. In life most people don't have the chance to have all of those people in their life but I was lucky enough to have all of them in you. Not only to me but my boys as well. You had an incredible bond with them. You were the grandmother and grandfather they never got the chance to have. You hated the words " I Love you" and "Thank you" because you felt those words needed to be shown not heard. You definitely had no problem showing us how felt without tell us.
Martha you will be missed greatly I know that your presence will always be with me. Thank you for being such a great role model and for loving me so unconditionally. I don't know what I would of done without you in y life. This is not a goodbye its a so long for now... This is your time to dance and cast away.... Until we meet again.... XOXOXO
Love, Sherry, Joseph, Harrison and Grayson

Our Dearest Martha - Words cannot express the sorrow we felt when we heard of your passing. Memories of you danced in our heads all week. 40+ years of memories. From your red Cadillac, your beautiful smile, your kind heart to your generosity of always taking your family on trips, cruises, nyc shopping sprees. Anytime Martha was in Glen Cove, we knew a Friendly’s trip was going to happen. Bringing me a cheeseburger when I was in the hospital having knee surgery. Letting us swim in the pool during the summer. I’m happy to say I was able to have dinner with on your last trip to New York. We laughed the entire night, to the point of tears. If you see “Maddy” up there say hello. Thank you for being you, thank you for the wonderful memories. Your memory will always be eternal. ❤️