Eileen Muriel Gills (13 Nov 1934 - 18 Feb 2016)

Dear Mum,
I am writing his message while sitting in Chelsey and Ed’s caravan, inside their shed where Mark and I have been staying since 25th November.

It’s beautiful out here, if only we could have our time again…we wouldn’t be living in the UK and raising our family there.

The house build is coming along really well, it’s going to be absolutely stunning once complete with spectacular views too.
Mark is helping on a daily basis with the build while I do the gardens, watering weeding etc. plus the cooking most days and the washing while Chelsey and Ed are at work.

Hayley Josh and the family are all well, however, Dexter did have a health scare….he had a lump in his neck for some time which Hayley grew more and more concerned about and insisted on blood tests. The results came back and the doctors think it’s allergy related as his white blood cells were high there was also concern that it could be leukaemia, however the white cell count was too low for it to be leukaemia thank goodness. We are all hoping that that gets sorted soon.

Spencer Kat and Elsie are in regular contact, we chat to them from here most weekends, they are all fine. Elsie continues to make us laugh with her little tantrums and funny little ways. She is adorable with bright red hair, which she gets from Kat and we think she is going to take after her Mummy and be tall as she seems to have shot up while we have been here.

Now onto Dad. Peter finally persuaded Dad that he was no longer safe living on his own and dad agreed to go into Cedar falls formerly Tanglewood care home. Dad went into the home on 26th December after spending Christmas at his house with Peter and Lellie.
I managed from here to advertise the fish tank and that was collected and went to a good home for special needs children. Peter managed to re home the dog Lulu with a nurse that was caring for Dad.

Dad continues to moan about Mark and I saying we live the life of Riley, are selfish and uncaring etc. He also told a friend of mine that he feels he has been abandoned and dumped in the home.

Mark and I have felt very hurt by all the comments. Are we supposed to give up our time with our family so that we can look after him? We are not getting any younger ourselves at 64 and 66 years old.

Chelsey, Ed and Harrison needed our help to build their home as Dad was fully aware, Ed no longer has his own dad to help him as he died on New Year’s Day 2024.

Since all of dads nasty comments, my view has changed about him…he is very self centred and expects everyone to be at his beck and call including his lovely neighbours, Hayley with a new baby and two other children. I will visit him on our return but I’m expecting a very cold reception.

Where was dad when David and Simon needed him? It was too far to go and visit them because it was a waste of time as they didn’t speak to him, well I’m sorry that was their illness and not their fault.

Where was dad when David lay dying in Peterborough city hospital? Oh he was sat at home watching the TV and moaning that I had not rung him and given him regular updates on David’s situation that was because I was sat in full PPE in David’s room with him making sure he knew he was loved and cared for.

I’m so sorry for letting off so much steam Mum.

I’m sorry that you have been gone 9 years today I will love and miss you always.

Sending all my love to You, Susan, David and Simon until we meet again xxxxx

Hello Mum,
Let me fill you in on all the good news on the 9th October Hayley, Josh, Pixie Dexter and all the family completed their family with the arrival of Orson a little brother for Pixie and Dexter, Dexter was overjoyed that he was getting a little brother, Pixie was at first disappointed but now that Orson is here she loves him to bits.

Spencer Kat and Elsie are all well they actually came to stay the weekend after Spencer’s birthday it was lovely to spend time with them all, especially Elsie as she is now walking and growing so fast.

Dad spent a week in hospital after falling at home and an ambulance taking him away to the Pilgrim Hospital. It turned out that he had food poisoning. He made the decision while in hospital after falling that he wanted to move downstairs into the dining room I moved everything downstairs, Mark and I arranged a new single bed for him. I was an awful time really as Dad was so rude to both the nurse and I insisting that it was his life, that he wanted to be downstairs and slamming his fist on the windowsill at the hospital. He wouldn’t hear of using the stairs and coming down in the lift.

Mark and I just over a year ago booked flights to go back out to see Chelsey Ed and Harrison in New Zealand. We’d booked for just shy of 6 months as there is an awful lot of help needed. As I’d mentioned to you before, they are now about to start building their new home and we wanted to be out there to help them.

What with Dad being unwell and having a fall etc. we almost cancelled until his outburst at the hospital.
We arrived in New Zealand on the 25th November after leaving Spalding on the 21st November we travelled via Dubai for 1 night and Australia for 2. It was fantastic to see both Ed and Chelsey waiting for us at Queenstown airport.

Since our arrival Dad has had another fall and been taken to Pilgrim by ambulance for a check up, all OK.Hayley has been excellent in looking after Dad and doing his cleaning and shopping etc for the last 2 years or so and has continued after her maternity break.

However, Dad has got an acid tongue and has been talking to the neighbour Trisha while she visited Dad at home with Hayley and Orson present. Dad accused me of being selfish, uncaring and basically not a very nice person. Hayley took none of this barrage of abuse aimed at me, she retaliated and defended me and left.

Peter is coming over on 10th December because of all this until 27th.

Dad is putting far too much on Hayley, he won’t go into a care home although he did put his own mother in one and you my wonderful Mum too. He won’t pay for extra care at home either. He just expects everyone Hayley, Mark and I Peter and all his neighbours to run around after him, it’s an absolutely joke, I don’t know who he thinks he is.

Anyway he has hurt me for the final time, after all I’ve been through supporting Susan my lovely sister, who battled on to the very end (taking me away from my 3 little children for 4 months and not forgetting my husband Mark) I would do it all again in a heartbeat, this is not aimed at Susan, but at Dad who didn’t come to the hospital anywhere near as many times as you and I.

Where was Dad when Simon or David needed visiting oh it was too far for him to travel, but he could go fishing or bowling.

Where was Dad when David caught Covid and was taken into Peterborough hospital fighting for his life? Sat at home, while I was left to make the decision to turn off his life support and sit with him for a week until he passed away. ( Again not aimed at David, I’d do it again in a heartbeat).

Not forgetting that I also had to make the decision for Susan to have a liver transplant as they’d rung to say that a donor had been found and that they couldn’t locate Susan’s husband in the hospital.

And you my lovely Mum seeing you go through hell with dementia it all got too much for me and that’s why I moved to Turkey before I had a breakdown. It was always Dad saying how he’d lost his children, never about Peter and I who’d lost our family too.

Ending on another high that Dad totally disagrees with Ayshia gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter on 27th November they are both doing well and are home from hospital where Tania is taking good care of them both.

I’m hoping you Susan, David and Simon are all together and enjoying yourselves.

Never forget that I love you and miss you all.
Until we meet again.
I’m sending you all my love Linda xxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mum,
It's been 8 years today that you left a huge hole in all of our hearts, I cannot believe where the time has gone.

So much has happened in those 8 years but today I will mostly focus on the good ones.

Chelsey and Ed had a beautiful baby boy called Harrison Mark on the 17th September 2022, he is a real little darling, you'd absolutely love him, he is just so cute.

We were lucky enough to visit Chelsey Ed and Harrison last year and spend three wonderful months with them, they at that time lived in a beautiful house, which they have since sold and are now in the process of building their own property in a place called Bannockburn. It was so hard for Mark and I saying our goodbyes, but we hope to go back again this year and help with the build.

Spencer and Kat got married on September 14th 2022, what a fabulous day that was in Wales, they have since produced our lovely little granddaughter Elsie May who is now 9 months old, she has bright red hair and such a cute little laugh, you'd love her too.

Hayley and Josh finally got married in Dalyan Turkey last may 27th With Pixie as Bridesmaid and Dexter as best man it was a fabulous wedding and a total surprise to the bride and groom (not the wedding) all that happened on the day as Mark and I had planned it down to the finest detail. Everyone said what an amazing time they had all had.

Dad is struggling more and more now with his walking, he shuffles along and no longer goes out anywhere.

We learnt on Thursday evening that Simon had very sadly passed away on 23rd January 2024 it came as a huge shock to both Dad and the family, a letter was just put through the letter box from Pinchbeck explaining.

I hope now that Simon is at peace and back to his old self, free of Mitochondrial disease and having a lovely time with You, Susan and David.

Until we meet again Mum, I will love and miss you always.

Sending you all, all my love Linda XXXXX

Dear Mum,
Wishing you a Happy 88th Heavenly Birthday. I hope you are having a good knee's up with Susan and David.
I will love and miss you all.
Until we meet again I'm sending you all my love forever Linda XXXXX

Dear Mum, As another year passes things don't get any easier. We all miss you so much and wish you were still here with us. I have just sent you a long email all about what has been happening and its disappeared!! David was struck down with Covid and was admitted to Peterborough City Hospital on 2nd February once he got admitted to the ward A9 bed 18 Mark and I visited the following day, David was very restless, agitated and struggling to breath he kept removing his oxygen mask and had already ripped his cannula out that were administering his drugs to help with the Covid. Doctor came and put a cannula in his foot. David was moved to a side room
(31) where he continued to struggle with the oxygen and got extremely agitated trying to sit up and get out of bed tearing his oxygen mask off it was awful for me to sit and watch and be helpless. All this continued each time I visited I talked to David and told him how much everyone loved him until Sunday 6th February a palliative nurse called me into the nurses seating area where she explained that things were not going to plan for David and that without his co operation they were between a rock and a hard place, I expressed my concerns that David had no quality of life before he got Covid and what would be the effects of lack of oxygen since the Covid took over his body he had no life in his eyes, they were rolled to the back of his head. It was decided that they would put him on an end of life plan, I was absolutely devastated but totally agreed with their decision and plan of action. I spent two hours with David that day and then came home and broke the news to Dad and the rest of the family. On Monday I went back to the hospital and sat with David from 10am while Mark drove to Luton Airport to pick up Peter, they arrived at the hospital at 5.30pm Mark said his final goodbyes to David while Peter and I stayed at the hospital holding David's hands and telling him how much everyone loved him and talking about anything and everything, just so that David knew he wasn't alone. David after putting up a tremendous fight, finally lost his battle at 00.25am on the 8th February. I am really hoping that he is now at peace and resting with you and Susan until he has the strength to go out partying with you both. David was dealt a very poor hand and his life was cut short with Mitochondrial Disease and then Covid I really hope he will make the most of his life wherever he is now and most of all be happy and free from pain and suffering. Now for the good news Chelsey and Ed are expecting a baby, we are over the moon with excitement for them both, we are going to New Zealand in November a trip that we had already planned before they made their baby announcement. Pixie and Dexter continue to grow far too fast they are both adorable and a right handful for Hayley and Josh. Please look after David and take good care of him, he has had a really terrible 19 year's which he truly didn't deserve Susan and you I know will take good care of him. Until we all meet again. I will love and miss you all always until we meet again I am sending you all my love now and always Linda XXXXX

Dear Mum, Today it is 6 years since you left us all. Dad has lit a candle for you and cut you two roses from the garden, he says they are not up to his normal standard, but they were the best of the bunch. I have been thinking a lot about you today, it's so sad here at the moment. David was admitted to hospital on the 2nd February with Covid, he really struggled to breath and wouldn't keep his oxygen mask on nor would he keep his cannula's in, he ripped them out of his arm and foot. The Palliative nurse asked me into the the wards rest room for a chat on the 6th February as David was very distressed and struggling to breath, it was decided that David should be put on an end of life plan, because he wasn't getting any better and wasn't coping well with his treatment, I was also very concerned as to how much more brain damage he would of sustained being starved of oxygen. I sat with him for a couple of hours on the 6th absolutely heartbroken. I returned on the 7th at 10am and sat with David holding his hand and telling him that we all loved him, while Mark went and collected Peter from Luton Airport. Peter and Mark arrived at about 5.30pm, Mark said his goodbyes to David while Peter and I sat talking to David and holding his hands, David finally passed away the following morning at 00.25am the 8th February. He put up such an amazing fight, life has been so bloody cruel to him, he deserved so much more living, but Mitochondrial disease robbed him of that and once he got Covid he didn't stand a chance. We are all hoping that he is now at peace with You and Susan, partying and having the fun that he was robbed of here. I am doing all the arrangements for the funeral as Dad is struggling with his walking and hearing now. Now for the good news Chelsey and Ed are expecting a baby what fantastic news that is. Mark and I had already booked to go and see them in November this year so that will be an absolutely fantastic bonus, meeting our little grandchild. Will break the trip gently to Dad nearer the time. We love and miss you so much please send all our love to Susan and David and look after Susan and David until we all meet again. Sending you all my love now and always Linda XXXXXXXXXX

Dear Mum, Another year has passed tomorrow without you being here with all of us, we cannot believe it has been 5 years. A lot has happened in that time. Hayley and Josh have produced two amazing little children Pixie and Dexter, they light up everyones life. Spencer and his partner Kat are buying their first home after being locked out of New Zealand and returning to the UK, they are buying a lovely little bungalow in Wales in a place called Bagillt, we are yet to see it, but are hoping to go and help them do it up. Chelsey and Ed have moved into their second home together, from the photographs it looks fantastic, Ed proposed to Chelsey last August 22nd and they plan on marrying in New Zealand in 2023. Covid is still on going and poor Dad is still stuck at home, but at least he has Lulu for company, he misses you terribly as do we all, but you would never of survived this dreadful virus. I am pleased to say that Dad got his first vaccination against Covid a few weeks ago, so we feel he is one step closer to getting his life back. Mark and I are still waiting for our jab's and hope they are in the not too distant future. We will continue to take good care of Dad for as long as he needs us. Enjoy catching up with Susan and all your family and friends, where ever you are and most of all remember that we all love and miss you. Until we meet again I will love you alway's. All my love Linda XXXXX

Hi Mum, So much has happened since I last wrote to you, which is some time ago now. Don't think because I don't write that I don't think of you often, I do. Things are shocking in the world right now there is a dreadful virus called Covid 19 which has stopped the world in its tracks and killed so many people worldwide and its not over yet. We are all in lockdown for the second time now, poor Dad has not been able to go out since the first lockdown which was back in March he is getting really fed up and bored with it all now, but he cannot take the chance and go out and mix amongst people, as this virus is deadly especially in the elderly and vulnerable, people just like Dad. He misses you so much but knows that you too would have been in extreme danger of getting the virus had you still been here and in the nursing home, as the nursing homes have been hit extremely hard by all this, as hard as it is for all of us we really hope that you are in a better place surrounded by people that you love and have missed seeing for many years now, especially Susan, please send her all my love and tell her I miss her terribly and wish I could see her just for another day, we have so much catching up to do. Its your birthday tomorrow Mum you will be 86, just think how all those candles will look on your cake. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and wish we could just have another few minutes together. I will always love and miss you Mum, you were the Best. Sending all my love always Linda XXXXXXXXXX

Happy 85th birthday Mum. We all love and miss you everyday. Sending you all our love as you celebrate this special day, we do wish that we could be celebrating with you. I will love and miss you forever . Sending you all my love Linda xxxxxxxxxx

Wishing you a very Happy Mother’s Day Mum. I still miss you everyday. Please enjoy celebrating Mother’s Day with Susan today and send her all my love. With all my love now and always Mum. Linda xxxxxxxxx

Wishing you a very Happy New Year Mum, wherever you may be I hope you are celebrating somewhere nice with Susan. Sending all my love Linda xxxxx I will love and miss you forever, until we meet again xxxxx

Happy New Year Mum, wherever you are. Remember I will always love and miss you. Sending you all my love Linda xxxxxx

Happy New Year Mum, wherever you are. Remember I will always love and miss you. Sending you all my love Linda xxxxxx

Happy Birthday Mum. Sorry I am sending this in the evening, we have been out all day with Peter Hobbs, we took him to an RAF do. I wished you Happy birthday the moment I woke up this morning, today you would have been 84, can you believe it? I still cry for you often, I wish I could have been with you at the end, I am eaten up with guilt. I hope you have been celebrating today with Susan and all your friends and family up there. Until we meet again Mum, I will love and miss you always. All my love Linda xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Mum, I have been thinking of you an awful lot lately and missing you loads. I should have written to you sooner, but somehow we always seem busy. Hayley and Josh had their beautiful son Dexter on 12th June this year, I was lucky enough to be there through most of Hayley's labor when they finally discovered that Dexter was actually breech, they rushed Hayley down for an emergency C section with Josh, I got to meet our little grandson about 15 minutes after he was born, a very magical moment. Chelsey flew over as a surprise to Hayley, all the way from Australia (where she has temporarily moved to) to be with Hayley for the birth, unfortunately things did not work out as the hospital did not pick on Dexter being breech, therefore he was overdue and Chelsey flew back and missed the birth. Spencer is still very happy and content in New Zealand with his partner Kat, we miss both Chelsey and Spencer very much but we think that they have made the correct decision in moving to the other side of the world. England has nothing to offer them, Spalding is an awful place to live now, so Mark and I have decided to sell up, we are hoping to find a buyer soon and move away. Dad still talks about you often and misses you so much, he found a wallet of yours recently which was full of notes, photo's and a letter to your Mum, it really upset us both. Peter, Tania and family are all coming over for Christmas this year they will be staying with Dad to keep him company, Ayshia will be 13 on Thursday, can you believe it? Where has that time gone? Take care Mum where ever you are. I will love and miss you always. All my love Linda xxxxxxxxxx

Wishing you a very Happy Mother's day Mum. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing today enjoy yourself. Today is our second Mother's day without you. We all love and miss you everyday. Take care of yourself and look after Susan today as she will be missing her girls. With all my love forever and always Linda xxxxx

Happy new year nan, miss you lots xxxxx

Happy New Year to you Mum. Wherever you are, We all hope you enjoyed ringing in 2018 and celebrating with Susan, family and friends. We all miss you so much. Take care Mum. I will love you always and forever Linda xxxxxxxxxxx

Happy New Year to you Mum. Wherever you are, We all hope you enjoyed ringing in 2018 and celebrating with Susan, family and friends. We all miss you so much. Take care Mum. I will love you always and forever Linda xxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry Mum, I should also have said that Chelsey and Spencer are still having a ball in New Zealand, Chelsey now has her residency and hopefully Spencer will soon apply for his, they have a fantastic live out there and we can only be proud that they have made the move for a better life. They both have lovely partners and are very happy. xxxx

Hi Mum, Today would have been your 83rd Birthday and we are all here to wish you a very Happy Birthday and hope that you are somewhere nice with Susan and friends celebrating. Mark and I have just travelled back from Cornwall, we have been to collect a caravan and spent a few days there, the weather was shocking (windy) so we had to stay for 4 nights instead of 2 it was too risky travelling back in the high winds. Dad is doing OK he still misses you terribly as we all do and is always reminiscing about your lives together, Holly is really good company for him. He has been doing really well at bowls lately. Pixie is absolutely adorable and its so very sad that you never got to meet her. Hayley is expecting her second child you are amongst the first to know, Dad does not know yet. Peter and family are really good coming over again for Christmas and staying with Dad to keep him company. I went to see David again recently, its so sad that he has lost any conversation and just sits all day. I hope to take Dad to see Simon soon, he would love to see him but cannot manage the drive. Sending so much love from us all MUM love you forever and always take care and speak again soon. Happy Birthday once again. All my Love Linda xxxxxxx

Hi Mum,
Been thinking about you lots these last few days, always with happy memories but tears in my eye's.

While writing this message I have just had a large moth land on my arm, was this a sign from you I wonder!

Peter, Tania and the family are going to be at Lake Ross again for 10 days this summer keeping Dad busy and out of mischief they will go fishing and have some lovely time together, I am sure.

Spencer and his girlfriend Kat came to visit us from New Zealand a couple of months ago, they had the real pleasure of meeting Pixie for the first time and enjoying family times together with Hayley, Josh Pixie and us, we all went around a few times to see Dad and keep him company it was lovely to see them both and nice to finally meet Kat, she is lovely. It was so difficult saying our goodbyes at the airport, Mark and I cried for at least 30 minutes once we had dropped them off at Heathrow.

Chelsey and Ed are still madly in love, Chelsey has just put in for her residency to stay in New Zealand, fingers crossed that she gets it, as the UK is worse than ever now.

I am still struggling with the fact that I can no longer pick up the phone here and have a chat with you.

Love and miss you always Mum, sending all our love from us all Linda xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mum,

Today is mother's day and I am sending you all my love. Thank you for being the most kind and caring Mum, you made everyday special. I will love and miss you always. All my love Linda xxxxx 26/3/2017

Dear Mum, We cannot believe that you left us all one year ago today. They say that times a healer, not sure who said it, but they are talking nonsense. We all still miss you terribly. Today I am going down to the crematorium where I scattered your ashes I will leave you some flowers and send you a balloon with a message. We will spend most of the day with Dad today keeping him company, he should have gone bowling today, but says he wants to have a quite day, its not a day for celebration. We may go out for a meal together later on we will have to wait and see how the day pans out, as we will all be feeling very low and upset. Hayley and Pixie were here yesterday for the day with Mark and I, she is a real beautiful little girl, always smiling, always happy, you would have absolutely fallen in love with her, just like we all have. Wherever you are Mum please take care until we meet again we will all love and miss you forever. Rest now and enjoy being free from pain and suffering. With all my love Linda xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Mum, Its me again. Today has been our first Christmas without you, its not been easy, but we have all kept ourselves busy. Peter, Tania, Ajay & Ayshia have flown over to spend time with Dad. Spencer and Chelsey are spending their time with their partners in New Zealand where they have both continued to stay. Hayley, Josh and Pixie have spent their first Christmas celebrating at home in Spalding in their new home. Mark and I have spent our Christmas in Turkey, we went for a walk today along the coast, you were never very far from my mind. We all miss you so much Mum, Dad is finding it especially hard, it seems to be getting harder for him, he is even blaming his bad bowling on you not being there to encourage him and giving him one of your little winks of encouragement. Perhaps you could help improve his game somehow, that would give him a big boost. Pixie is growing fast and is so beautiful, you would have adored her, cannot believe that you never got to meet her, but then I really do believe that you will always look down on us all. Please leave a sign Mum that you are still around as its so hard being without you. Merry Christmas Mum. We will all love you forever. Linda xxxxxxxxx

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday Mum. Today is your birthday and you would have been celebrating your 82nd birthday. I have nowhere to send a card to anymore, no present to buy to give you, but please remember this one thing, not a day goes by when I don't think about you, I am glad that you are no longer suffering, but wish selfishly that you were still here so that I could hug you for one more time and tell you that I Love You. Happy a Lovely birthday Mum celebrating with the Angels. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx