Judy Walsh (1 May 1943 - 7 Dec 2025)

A tribute from Peter Cowper:

I should introduce myself first. My grandfather Ernest Cowper was Judy’s grandmother Ethel Cooke’s cousin. They must have been close, because the families stayed in touch; in fact I think we were their nearest relations.
I first remember meeting Judy in the early 50s when I was about five and she would have been seven. We went to stay with Judy, her mother, Kathleen, and granny Ethel at their home in North Frodingham, a small agricultural village in the East Riding of Yorkshire. Kathleen was the village schoolteacher. A rural experience for me from London, including Luella the pig at the bottom of the garden. We visited a few more times in the next few years; by then, Luella was two sides of bacon hanging in the garage, to our softy southern tastes, slightly rancid!
The family moved to Bridlington and again we went to stay, including one memorable Christmas when I was in bed with flu for the whole visit. In the summer we would go down to the beach, where I would fight with Judy over such trivia as sandcastles, as kids do.
Around 1958, they decided to move closer to us in Stoneleigh, Surrey. I saw a lot of them then; Judy was, to some extent, a big sister. She went to the girls’ grammar school in Epsom and I went to school in Kingston. The families went out together and I would go to the swimming pool with Judy. They acquired a Staffordshire bull terrier called Timmie. Unfortunately he had a tendency to bite people and dogs, ours included, so he had to go – Judy was very upset.
Judy was always a keen musician, both in and out of school.
As she finished school Judy began to take dancing seriously and was involved in a dance school at the Organ Inn, Ewell, for several years. This became one of the passions of her life. She taught me to dance (badly) at one stage.
We grew up. Judy went on holiday to Pontins one year and came back with John, who she married a year later. My father gave her away at Cuddington Church, and I was an usher and my sister, a bridesmaid.
After that, we rather drifted apart. I went off to university, my family moved to Southend and Judy was married and living in Aylesbury. We would see each other occasionally over the years and exchange Christmas cards.
Many years later, after John died, Judy moved to Suffolk and I saw her a few times as I now live in Saffron Walden in Essex. I am very glad I went to see her in June last year. She was very frail by then, but we took food in to her and had a lovely afternoon talking and reminiscing.
I was very sorry to hear the news of her passing a few months later. Rest in peace Judy.

Memories from Liz:

Thank you for joining us here today to celebrate the life of our Mum.
For those who don’t know me, I am Judy’s younger daughter Elizabeth, also known as Lizzie, Liz or that old favourite Ca-lizabeth for when, as kids, we’d frazzled mum to such an extent that she didn’t know which of us to yell at!
There are so many things I could say about Mum, but I’m going to share a few standout moments.
Many of you will know Mum had her own dancing school and as part of the dancing calendar would have a medal presentation, which was a bit of a party for those who had passed their exams as well as their family & friends; she used to invite a pro dance couple to present the medals and do a demonstration and she usually had a few surprises up her sleeve as well.
So, I’ll set the scene…
I was around 13 years old, very shy and very easily embarrassed. For the first time ever (and the last), both Catherine & I had invited schoolfriends along.
Mum had been teaching her baby class a dance to a song called ‘The Little Red Monkey’ and they were doing a little show dance. Imagine our absolute horror when partway through the dance, a gorilla with a red bow in its hair skipped into the middle of the room, promptly slipped over, fell on its bum, then jumped back up again and joined in the dance! I can still hear my schoolfriend saying to me in disbelief ‘is that your mum??’
Then of course Mum loved her am dram which she took very seriously. However, she didn’t always think through some of her more ambitious plans; like the time she saw a sketch on TV, which she decided would be a great idea to emulate. The sketch in question involved a couple sitting in a car, so what did Mum do? She went out and she bought a Hillman Imp, had the engine removed, then she got a friend to literally cut the car in half, because she only needed the front. What she hadn’t really considered was the logistics of getting half a car from our home to the Stoke Mandeville Community Centre, where the show was taking place and which was a couple of miles away, AND THEN getting half a car into the hall and onto the stage. Needless to say, they did the sketch but sat at a table which was ‘dressed’ to look like a car….and half a Hillman Imp sat in the back of the garage at Creswick Meadow for a long time until it could be disposed of!
Mum really was one of a kind and they broke the mould when they made her, but not before Catherine & I had inherited some of her finest qualities, stubborn, bossy, opinionated…and I’m pleased to say that we are both masters of that disapproving look….you know the one!
She was quite strict with us as children, telling us to ‘walk nicely’ when out and about and a barrage of rules at the dinner table, ‘elbows off the table, eat with your mouth SHUT please and DON’T slurp your drink!’ We had to eat at least 3 sprouts and there was no pudding if you didn’t eat your main course. She expected us to behave when we went to our friends houses to play & I can honestly say it was only about 3 years ago that I ‘fessed up to her that one of my friend’s Mums had given both me & my friend a smack for being naughty….I would have been about 6 years old at the time. As expected, when I ‘fessed up to Mum all those years later, I got the exact response I was expecting, ‘You naughty little girl, if I’d have known that you’d have got a smack from me too!’. She did see the funny side though.
Mum taught us both lots of life skills, including how to cook, sew, knit & generally be independent. Being an accomplished pianist, she taught me to play the first few bars of the Moonlight Sonata, then had to feign enjoyment over the years whenever I was reunited with the piano, even though invariably someone would have moved all the notes & my rendition was pretty awful!
Mum wanted this to be a celebration of a life well lived. She was incredibly fortunate to spend her later years in Great Bricett, a village that she loved and where she made some great friends; she was able to stay in her own home, thanks to her lovely friends and fabulous carers, and for this, we are eternally grateful.
I can’t quite believe Mum has left us…..particularly before the Strictly final and the New Year showing of ‘The Sound of Music’, but she has exited stage left for the final time, rest in peace Mum, you really were one of a kind!

Remembering by Catherine:

Mum was very much an active participant in life and lived it fully. It was only when I sat down to write this that I really realized quite how much she packed into her 82½ years.
She was involved in the world of theatre and dance throughout her life, with her first experience in pantomime as a very young child. She started out in ballet, and I remember her saying how she won a place at White Lodge, the Royal Ballet’s junior school, a dream that was dashed when she broke her ankle. Not to be put off, she switched to ballroom and Latin American dance, eventually training as a teacher. She ran her own dancing school for many years, taking Liz and me to work with her in the evenings until Dad was able to pick us up. Much of our homework was done to the strains of Andy Ross and his orchestra. She later expanded to include examining and adjudicating. Her work took her overseas, with destinations including Taiwan and Barbados. Her dedication and contribution to dance and the IDTA were immense, and she was thrilled and proud to be made an honorary examiner by the IDTA and to receive an award for exceptional service.
But mum had many other strings to her bow.
When my sister and I were a bit older, she trained as a driving instructor, buzzing around Aylesbury in her little red Mini during the day, while continuing to run her dancing school in the evenings.
Music was another lifelong passion, and she achieved Grade 8 piano in adulthood.
Theatre remained a big part of her life, and she loved amateur dramatics. She was an active member of Wing Players when she lived in Aylesbury, and later RATS after moving to Great Bricett. She wrote many of their annual pantomimes and later on, murder mysteries, including “The Sound of Murder” and “Supercalifragelisticexpialimurder” – complicated productions in which the murderer was different in each performance. She appeared on stage as one of the friends of Mrs Wilberforce, part of the chorus of “older ladies” in the New Wolsey Theatre’s production of The Ladykillers. She delighted in performing – something that seems to have skipped a generation in me and my sister, but I’m pleased to report is very much present in my son, her grandson, Thom.
She didn’t have the opportunity to go to university after school, but not to be put off, she went on to earn two degrees with the Open University, a BA in languages at the age of 60, followed by an MA in French and music six years after that, proof that you are never too old to learn something new.
She learned to ride as an adult, and later on she took up golf, continuing to play after she moved to Suffolk around 12 years ago. She learnt to paint, and started learning Portuguese when we moved there a few years ago.
She loved to travel and enjoyed taking on new adventures, including skidooing in Iceland and walking in the Alps. In her later years she discovered cruising, and was mostly a little more sedate, although she was well into her 70s when she took a motorcycle sidecar tour in Madeira.
Fifteen years ago, she was absolutely thrilled to become a granny to Thom, a role she embraced with enormous pride and love, although I frequently had to tell the pair of them to please, just stop bickering!
Mum absolutely loved living in Great Bricett and was very involved in her community, serving on the village hall committee, and helping organise coffee mornings, among other things.
Mum fully embraced life, learning, and new experiences. She was truly an unstoppable force, and it’s hard to believe she’s left us. Rest in peace now Mum.

Poem "Love Came First", by Donna Ashworth, read by Thom:

You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with.
You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now.
Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love.
And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her.
And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents.
Remember. Grief came to you my friend because love came first.
Love came first.