Colin James Goodwin (Passed away 13 Jan 2024)

Hey Bamp,
Happy father’s day to my only male figure in my life. Hope you’re doing okay up there!
Miss you more and more every single day, forever praying to see you and hold you one last time.
Nothing’s changed Bamp, i’m still always in the wrong with my mum for something or other but i guess that’s the life isnt it. You were the only one who seen my point! Just wish you were here back in my corner!
I’ve been so down lately Bamp, forever wishing you got to meet Niamh & Ems. Bloody hell Bamp, i’ve got a stepkid - who’d of thought!
I love you with my whole heart and more,
I’ll see you soon
Lots of love
Your little girl ❤️

Ello Berk,

Glad you came through for Nan the other day, think she really needed to know you’re doing okay up there, and not feeling so unwell and looking more like yourself I think it was a big help to know that!

I’m still carrying on the family tradition of kidneys playing up, but they’re slowly improving! Hopefully gives me a few good years eh!

I think my Grampy Phil wil be up there with you soon, look after him for me please.

Was talking with Stacey the other night about if we got married, and how rubbish it’ll be not having you there, really hit home then some of the things that you have missed and will miss. Pretty shit.

I’d have loved you to meet her she’s been so good for me, and she’d have loved you but she knows all about you I tell her all the stories and all my memories.

Immy is still singing, maybe a little bit more wild than she was but she’s the best little character, and Reuben is a lump, just a big happy boy! I’ll post a picture of them on here for you.

I miss you alot, feel like it’s more and more lately.

But just wanted to catch up.

I love you.

Bamp!
I went for a spiritual reading on Wednesday and finally got to speak to you! Knowing you’re okay has put my mind at ease but damn i still miss you like crazy. I’m so proud of you just like you said you were of me & i love you more than words describe.
The lady said you were even putting your hand in your pocket to give me money just like old times!
I sit and think about you every single day and it’s something i’ll do for the rest of my life.
I’m so proud to be your granddaughter!
I was telling nan and my mum about the reading & how i now know you’re okay and we were all crying!
But today you got to speak to your little wife & my mum. It’s even more better knowing you’re with your mum!
Nan misses you like crazy Bamp and i bloody know you do too! It’s crazy - whenever we sit in your seat in the living room we all get chills and as we found out today you’re sat there so i’m sorry for squishing you👀
I wish i could go every day just to be able to talk to you Bamp but i know that’s not possible. I’ll be back soon though, just to speak to you again!
Forever my hero Bamp, dont forget that!
I love you more than words can describe!
Your little girl❤️

Bamp,
How is this pain still so agonising? You’re in my mind every minute of the day. Words cant even describe how much i miss you & i forever wish i could see you one last time!
I’m really not okay since losing you Bamp, i’m putting a smile on and being brave but everything hits 10x worse when i’m alone.
I’m forever back and forth the docs just to try make myself feel a little less numb.
Just wish to hear off you one last time Bamp!
I love you more than words can describe, speak soon my hero.
Lots of love
Your little girl❤️

Berk.

Thought I’d drop in, I’m currently in a hospital bed having some treatment for the kidneys and being in the heath is a lot harder now it was the last place I got to see you, even harder you didn’t even know I was there.

Hopefully all the stuff they’re doing the next couple of weeks fixes me.

I can’t sleep, and I’m just wondering if there’s still a piece of you around the place a few floors above where I am, I hope there’s not I hope you’re watching Nan and getting a good rest up there. But if there is, could you maybe give me a little sign that you forgive me for not being around so much at the end. It would really mean alot to me becuase I feel like I’m carrying that with me everyday and I’m doing as I promised I’m there for Nan as much as I possibly can be even if I can’t visit I’ll phone to make sure she’s okay, but a sign that I’m going enough and you’re not sad or angry with me would really help me. Doesn’t have to be big maybe get a trifle on the desert menu tomorrow for me or let meatloaf come on the radio .

Nan’s birthday last week, she didn’t enjoy it. Not the same without you, but you were talked about as always, and missed and always and loved as you wil be forever.

I love you.

Hopefully the trifle is on the menu xxx

Hey Berk,

Just wanted to check in, I miss you.

Big game tomorrow for wales, they’ve been awful so probably best you’ve missed the last few games!! But I’ll be supporting them for you.

Hope you’re resting peacefully, give nan a little sign if you can she would love that for her birthday!

I love you xx

Hey Bamp!
How has it been one whole year since we laid you to rest! Time moves so fast and it’s clear i miss you more and more each day. It’s crazy to think, this time last year i was getting drenched walking Ziggy so nan had piece of mind he was going to behave when we were out the house.
I sit and think about you every day, hoping that one day you’ll appear and it’s all just been one long nightmare. I hope you’re okay up there, im sure you are with Benji, Barney, Charlie, Duke and Alf. Bloody hell bamp that’s your whole gang back with you!! And of course Aunty viv.
I hope im doing you proud bamp, give me a sign for me to know you’re with me will you.
I love you much more than words can describe.
You’re little girl❤️

Hey Bamp, hope you’re doing well up there. Times are not getting any better down here, time heals so they say but i feel i’ll never heal from this heart break. My whole world turned upside down.
I haven’t been to see nan recently and im sorry for that but i’ve been pretty low. I promise ill make time to get up to her in the next couple days.
Me nd mum still fight like there’s no tomorrow bamp & sometimes i wish you were here to shout. We barely speak now & i think im coming to the terms of the fact she has her own life. Still hurts but life moves on.
I wish i could see you again, just for one last time. Just to cuddle you and cry to you with all my problems. Forever feeling worthless because my hero’s no longer with me.
I love you more than words can describe.
You’re little girl❤️

Well dad we made it to the year without you and I will tell you it gets harder everyday... I've done nothing but cry all morning dad wishing u were here still but I no u ain't suffering now but we all are.... Harper is finding it so hard dad and sat talking to ur picture tonite tellin u how.much she misses u and loves u...mum is crying all the time missing u so much dad... she knows ur with her though and that gives her some.comfort.... tayla is struggling as well dad but will never talk to me about it and if u were here u would be shouting at us as u always did.... love u so much dad and miss u more than u will ever know

365 days since my whole world shattered into a million pieces. I’ve been dreading this day bamp, even after all these days it doesn’t feel real. I write on this hoping you’re gunna see it.
I miss you Gramp, you being in the car and shouting at my driving - something i used to dread the most but would do anything in my power to hear it again.
The last time we went for a drive in my car was to pick up Ziggy bamp, and you were adamant you seen that bloody welsh rugby player. Shouted at me even if i were going 1mph over the limit or doing 35 in the national speed limit lanes because it was too fast💀
Ziggy’s still a lunatic though Bamp, nothings changed there.
Life sucks without you Bamp, im gunna do your walk this morning just to try and feel as close to you as possible.
Even though it’s been a year, i still cry to you every single day. A heart that’s broken and never healing. You’ve left a pretty big scar on me but the best one.
Anyway, ill stop rambling on.
Just know that i’d do anything to see you & hope to be without sooner rather than later.
My hero forever,
Love you more than words can describe,
Your little girl ❤️

A year tomorrow since you left us berk, and you know the guilt I feel for not being around as much hasn’t got any less. I don’t feel like I’ve got much right to be so upset about you not being here, and missing you as much as I do because of it. Every day I think that I should have just called up more, gone on the drives we used to go on, and just have a coffee just me and you. I think it’s something that’ll I’ll never forgive myself for.

I think about you every day, I tell Stacey all about you every chance I get. She’s probably sick of hearing about you, and all the stories. She doesn’t believe me about the whale either but I still swear by it.

Try and give nan a little sign that you’re at peace, she could really do with it, so could trace she’s been amazing, always there for Nan!

Hope you’re resting well up there in some comfy slippers, and I hope that you know how much I idolised you and loved you.

Love you always. xx

Bamp, a whole year ago i sat next to you in that ambulance. A whole year ago since my nightmare turned into reality. A whole year of sleepless nights & a pain no one can describe.
They say time heals but I still miss you more than anything in this world Bamp. I wish you were still here. We bought a Tegu on tuesday. She looks the spit of the one from the shop you used to like. I love her more and more knowing you would have approved of her. Seeing her makes me feel closer to you that little bit.
Really do hope you’re looking down on me bamp, with that little grin on your face. Hope you’re still making toast for the boys, they’re all with you now.

I love you forever and always Gramp, gramps girl from day one and that will never change. My hero.

Merry Christmas dad.... I love u and miss u so much.... its been a hard year trying to cope without u... I often sit in my bed at night in tears thinking about u and how much i miss u....I hope ur watching over us and we are making u proud... love u dad my hero today yesterday and always...

Merry Christmas to my husband i love you and miss you more than you will ever no... I no your watching over me and always with me and I have so many great memories that I often think about.... I love you forever your little wife....

Merry Christmas bamp I hope your up there havin a nice cuppa and some custard creams... I miss u bamp and I have struggled this year asking why u had to leave us.. I no ur not in pain no more bamp but we are....I love and miss you so much bamp love harper

Merry Christmas Berk. I love you xx

Merry christmas Bamp, first year without you with us! I hope you’re watching down on us with your cuppa and aunty viv by your side🥰 i love you always and forever❤️

Hey Berk,

Went to a church service for you today, you’d have loved it 🤣. But we wrote some Xmas messages for you, so I know you’ll get to see those.

Nan’s struggling berk, it’s really hard to see her so upset and knowing there isn’t anything that can help, she just misses you. We all do, but for nan it’s differnt isn’t it, you & her were just rare, special and nobody can understand how she feels.

I was telling immy about you the other day, and she still says how you’re her star in the sky, Lara is having a little boy in feb. Hope he likes wrestling becuase immy doesn’t!

Really miss you, today was tough.

I love you xx

Bamp, i’ve tried so many times to write to you but can forever break down. Words doesn’t describe how much i bloody miss you. Time heals is the saying ain’t it? If so why is it still so hard to not have you around?
My heart breaks every minute knowing im not seeing you again.

Gramps girl forever & that’ll never change. See you soon my hero, i love you❤️

So Dad it's the first birthday without you here and boy is it a hard day... I'm trying my hardest to be strong and be there for mum I hope I'm doing u proud....we are all struggling without you here my girls are struggling but doin so well dad tayla got engaged the other day to a lovely girl u would have loved her dad so easy to wind up.... harpers doin well in school and her tae kwon do and everytime she says bamp would be proud mum wouldn't he and I no u would have been.....mum is struggling dad in tears most days but I'm there with her everyday and looking after your little wife....we are out for a meal tonite dad to celebrate for u but wish u could have been here to spoil u instead.... I love you so much dad and missing you more than anyone will no.... from the day I was born until the day I join u I want u to no u will always be my hero.... as they say dad not all heroes wear capes our hero wore a Welsh rugby top and jeans....love u dad

First birthday you won’t be here tomorrow Berk, going to be a tough day for everyone but I know you’ll be up there with Charlie and Duke having a cuppa enjoying yourself! But you’re thought about every day, not just on your birthday so don’t worry about that. I don’t need to tell you how much Nan’s missing you, it’s really hard to see her so upset, but I’m making a lot more effort to go up and see her I know I was shit before and I’ve told you enough times how sorry I am about that, and always will be sorry about that. But I’m righting my wrongs.

Happy birthday for tomorrow, wish you were here to celebrate. Everyone’s out for a meal for your birthday which I’m sure will be problem free… lol.
But I’ve got work at 8 so can’t make it! But I got 98.5% on my big exam Monday should see the trains I’m working on you’d love them! I wish you could see how well I’m doing, I think you’d be proud! And I’ve finally met someone! You’d really like her Stacey her name is, and she’s been one of the best things to happen to me in I can’t tell you how long. I would have loved for you to meet her!

I love you Berk, you have and always will be my hero. I hope you knew that xxx

Hey dad it's been almost 8 months since u left us..... life just will never be the same.... I'm lookin after mum as I promised u I always would.....mum kisses ur picture every day and is missing u so much.... Harper is really struggling at the mo dad cos she misses u so much.....she is always asking me why did u leave us???? Taylas doing good in her job dad but she's struggling to but she won't talk to me still stubborn.... I hope ur looking down on us dad and we are doing u proud just like u did us all proud..... I've never said this to u dad but thank u for everything u ever did for me and my kids... I love u so much dad and I always will... my hero forever.... catch up soon dad.... missing u so much...

Hey dad it's been the hardest 6 months of all of our lives since u been gone..... we all miss u so much... Harper talks to your photo every morning and night tellin you how much she loves u...Harper passed her blue belt this week ad she said my bamp will be smiling now.... mums missing u so badly dad she's in tears all the time I'm trying my hardest to help her and make u proud... I'm there everyday with her and we talk about u all the time.... I no your up there watching over us.... bethan takes Olivia over all the time dad u would be in stitches at her she's bloody mental... cerys goes down and takes nan shopping josh rings her and pops up to see her tayla pops up...mark,anya and paul go once a week but that's it dad.... ur brother amd ur sisters go up every Wednesday to see mum...
Love and miss u so much dad... love Tracey and harper
And I love u so much colin and miss u every minute of everyday
Love u your little wife rene

Hey Berk,

I really missed you today, went up Nan's with immy and we went to the park, Tracey Harper and Nan came to it was really nice. Nan said about how you always used to pretend to let me kick you on the swings, and just got me remembering a lot of the times we had when I was little, Nan had fun I think but she really misses you, but she has a lot of people around her who are looking after her for you. And I'm doing my part to, I'm still really trying to make up for the few months I didn't see you before you left us, and I regret that every day and it's a horrible feeling but I can't change the past, I'll just make sure I'm better in the future.

I miss you, seems to be more and more frequent.

I'll check in again soon.

Love you xx

Hi Berk,

been thinking about you a lot the past few weeks, still find it hard to think about you without getting upset. I miss you. i think more than anything i regret that i didn't see you the last few months, that hurts - a lot. There isn't a moment that passes where i don't regret not calling up, but im making alot more effort now, i make sure i go and see nan alot more and i know it doesnt make up for it but im trying. every night before bed i look at my little photo album with pictures of me & you, and i put the heartbeat theme as my alarm. Im really sad, i hide it well though so nobody really knows it and i miss you. ill keep dropping in on here. Love you. hope you are doing okay up there.

shithead xx

Well dad it's been almost 4 months since u left us and it's been the hardest 4 months of my life..... I miss u so much dad coming into your house and seeing u there but it's hard now to walk in and ur not there..... mum's been coping OK but lately it's gettin to her but mum being mum won't tell anyone.... harper passed her grading and had an A pass and the first thing she wanted to do was rush home to tell her bampy that she passed cos he would have been so proud and we no u would have been....I'm there everyday for mum dad lookin after her as I promised u I would always do.... love u and miss u so much my hero my dad

Been down to see you again today dad... brought your little wife and your sister and tayla... its really hard dad as we no tomorrow is the last day we can see you....I wish you knew how much you were loved and missed....

As a family we would all like to say a great big thank you to lyndsey and his team for the way they have looked after our husband/dad/bampy you have been amazing