Colin James Goodwin (Passed away 13 Jan 2024)

Hey berk.
Hope you’re doing okay up there! Have you found buster yet? Hope you’re looking after him for me and he’s friends with Charlie and duke!

All the nurses in Dialasys remembered you, that’s the only nice part about going there it’s awful! But fingers crossed I’ll have a kidney soon and this one’s going to last I can feel it!

Nans not having as many bad days which is good! I check in a lot to make sure she’s okay!

Me And Stacey are getting married next year, wish you were here to be there you would have loved her she’s such a wonderful person, I think Nan and Tracey approve! She’s the best thing to have ever Happened to me I’m so stupidly happy!

Anyways take care and look after buster tell him I miss him and feel lost without him.

I love you xx

Hey dad its been 2 and a half years and boy do I miss u....mums not doin great dad she misses u like mad she tried to hide the tears but I no wen shes crying.... just to let u no really dad how everyone's doin. Harper misses u and talks to u every night before she goes to sleep. She's doin amazing at her horse riding u would be so proud of her.... all ur great grandkids are amazing dad and u would be so happy watching them all play.... they all cheer mum up wen they are there.... ur grandkids go and visit her as well dad she loves seeing all them as well.... im there everyday dad keeping my promise to u looking after ur little wife as I promised I always would.... anyway better go now just needed to talk to u today I miss u so much dad... love u always and forever

Hey berk!

I’ve gotten engaged! Can you believe it! Never thought I’d be one who’d get married; and if I did I never thought it wouldn’t be without you sat front and centre. I’ll be saving you a seat tho! So I know you’ll be there however you can!

Nan said you came through the other day, I’m really glad because Nan really needs it! So on the look out for robins! If you can pop by more regularly for Nan that would be great. It’s hard seeing her so upset, she really needs you. I’ve never known anyone miss someone so much. You two really had something special didn’t you!

Anyways, just wanted to share my news!

I love you xxx

Bamp,
Life’s pretty hard at the moment & id love nothing more than to be able to see you one last time! Oh how there’s so much i’d tell you.
Still feel really guilty about leaving you Bamp but i dont think that’ll ever go away!
Keep watching over me and giving me that little push to keep going even though everything’s so hard.

I love you more than words can describe, forever and always.
Your little girl❤️

Berk head, just wanted to talk to you. Lots going on and it would be lovely to have you around.

Starting dialasys soon, it finally got me. The transplant has failed so they’ve got me on it until I can find another kidney. Differnt to yours, I’ve got a little tube (it’s actually massive and disgusting) in my stomach permanently that I’ll connect to a machine every night so thankfully can still work and do everything I need to, but it’s scary you know. And you’re the only person I know that would understand how it feels. Everyone telling me it’ll be fine, and it’s keeping me alive but that doesn’t make it less scary, or make me any happier about it. At least I know you’d understand what it’s like and get why I’m so miserable about it.

For the first time the other day I got to nans and sat on your bench, just me and Buster and you it was really nice got to chat to you in somewhere I felt like your presence is a little you know.

Immy is growing to be the best little girl, and rueben and Romeo both very cute! You’d have loved Roo, he’s so loving and cute.

Apart from that nothing much going on.

I love you xx

Today’s game day my man!! The day we were never allowed to make a noise or walk infront of the tv!
I’ll be watching the game in work cheering them on just for you bamp. I hope they do us proud!
Come on the boys!
I love you so much, miss you forever!
Till we meet again,
Your little girl❤️

2 whole years dad.... 2 years of hell.... its been the worst 2 years of my life. . I still walk in and expect to see u sat in your seat.... we all miss u more than u will ever no..... im keeping my promise dad and looking after mum for you.... the signs you have given us all that you are around is scary but comforting ... keep watching over us all dad love you forever

2 years bamp! 2 years we went for that ride that haunts me every waking minute. 2 years ago i argued with the doctors, cried more tears than i thought i could & sat in the hospital next to you for 12 hours straight before getting kicked out. If only 2 years ago i knew i had 3 days left with you, i’d have never have left your side.
I miss you so so so much gramp, more than words can describe actually. There’s not a day goes by where i dont think of you & hope you’re looking down. Hope i’m doing you proud gramp because I’ve lost everyone nd im trying to be strong!

I love you forever and always,
Your little girl❤️

Merry Christmas berk.

I love you xxx

Ello Berk,

Been thinking about you a lot lately, forgot how your voice sounded and that was hard. How can someone whose voice I heard almost every day for 30 odd years just not be stuck in my brain anymore. Shows how quick time goes but man I miss you.

So much has happened, I’ve had a roller coaster with work but that’s all settled now, Stacey is great you’d have loved her and she loves you just from the stories I tell her. And buster is still big and slobbery and the best dog.

I’ve sold my house, it’s quite bittersweet becuase my fence in the garden everytime I look at it reminds me of the day you and Grampy Phil came down to put it up so I could get buster. So everytime I look at it it’s filled with such a nice memory and I’ll
Miss that.

I miss you, I love you and thank you for everything. I wouldn’t be the me I am now without you.

Happy birthday Hero.
Im so so glad i got to speak with you yesterday and i promise to take your advice. Sorry everything’s upset you but it doesnt matter.
I love you with my whole heart and more. Enjoy your day today - a cuppa tea and the toaster on making toast for the dogs.
Have the best day, save me a seat and i’ll be there soon.
I love you always,
Your little girl❤️

Happy birthday dad.... I hope nan and aunty mickey are looking after u today the way we will look after mum for you ... today's gonna be a struggle for her but we are there for her.... I love u and miss u so much dad

Happy birthday Berk. I hope you’re up there with a cuppa and a nice trifle today! Another year without you has gone so fast, and you are so missed every day.

Thinking of you as always..

I love you. xxx

I miss you so much, i love you always💔

Hey berk,

Just in the airport about to go on holiday with stace, and Mariah Carey hero come on - won’t lie it made me cry thinking about the video played at your funeral, but tells me you’re in the airport with me, probably moaning about this £9 pint I bought I know I moaned to!

I love you: x

Evening Bamp,
Laying in bed thinking about how life would be so different if you were here. I miss you so so much gramp & it still hurts so bad.
I’m sorry for not seeing nan as often as i would like, i’m working a lot more now & whenever i go there it’s just awkward. No one talks to me no more, mum’s turned sour again & we aint spoke in bout a month now.
It’s just times like this i wish i could talk to you, so much has happened recently & i have no one to pick up the phone and talk to.
It’s getting pretty hard at the moment, i’m really struggling but i’ll get through it like i always do just really really wish to see your face one last time, have one last hug or to hear you moan at me bout my driving one last time!
I love you so so much bamp & i really wish i could of taken this pain away from you.
See you soon Bamp,
Take it easy,
Your little girl❤️

Me again Bamp,
592 days without you yet i still can’t shift this feeling of numbness. I miss you more than words can describe.
I count the hours down each day until i can sleep knowing i’ll have that horrible vivid dream of being back in the ambulance and hospital with you, waking up in tears most nights but knowing i get to see your face.
This isn’t fair gramp, i have no one to talk to now, no one who gets me. You stood by me all those years in hospital and i done the same for you just forever wishing the outcome was different.
Just want you back where you belong, with your little wife and family.
I love you more than words describe, see you soon Bamp.
Your little girl ❤️

Morning bamp!
Thought i’d check in. It’s crazy how much this still hurts, there’s not a day where i dont think about you.
I’m struggling a lot recently, ive come back off my meds too.
I just forever wish for one last cwtch with you.
I love you more than words can describe
Love you always
Your little girl❤️

Hey Berk,

Just thinking of you, so wanted to drop a message.

Hope you’re okay up there, and if you’ve seen Grampy Phil hope you both got to catch up.

I’m going to see the psychic when I can get myself there, I really hope you come through I’d love to know you’re about.

Had a lot going on lately, it’s been a really tough time I’ve been really struggling. Luckily I’ve had Nan, trace and Stacey. You’d love Stacey gramp she’s the best, funny, weird, but is the best thing to ever happen to me. I would have given anything for you to have met her.

Don’t want to bore you, so I’ll leave it with wales are shit at rugby, I’ll keep doing my best to be there and look after nan for you and the rate my kidneys are going I’ll be with you in about 20 years.

I love you.

Really miss you. It’s pretty shit xx

Hey Bamp,
Happy father’s day to my only male figure in my life. Hope you’re doing okay up there!
Miss you more and more every single day, forever praying to see you and hold you one last time.
Nothing’s changed Bamp, i’m still always in the wrong with my mum for something or other but i guess that’s the life isnt it. You were the only one who seen my point! Just wish you were here back in my corner!
I’ve been so down lately Bamp, forever wishing you got to meet Niamh & Ems. Bloody hell Bamp, i’ve got a stepkid - who’d of thought!
I love you with my whole heart and more,
I’ll see you soon
Lots of love
Your little girl ❤️

Ello Berk,

Glad you came through for Nan the other day, think she really needed to know you’re doing okay up there, and not feeling so unwell and looking more like yourself I think it was a big help to know that!

I’m still carrying on the family tradition of kidneys playing up, but they’re slowly improving! Hopefully gives me a few good years eh!

I think my Grampy Phil wil be up there with you soon, look after him for me please.

Was talking with Stacey the other night about if we got married, and how rubbish it’ll be not having you there, really hit home then some of the things that you have missed and will miss. Pretty shit.

I’d have loved you to meet her she’s been so good for me, and she’d have loved you but she knows all about you I tell her all the stories and all my memories.

Immy is still singing, maybe a little bit more wild than she was but she’s the best little character, and Reuben is a lump, just a big happy boy! I’ll post a picture of them on here for you.

I miss you alot, feel like it’s more and more lately.

But just wanted to catch up.

I love you.

Bamp!
I went for a spiritual reading on Wednesday and finally got to speak to you! Knowing you’re okay has put my mind at ease but damn i still miss you like crazy. I’m so proud of you just like you said you were of me & i love you more than words describe.
The lady said you were even putting your hand in your pocket to give me money just like old times!
I sit and think about you every single day and it’s something i’ll do for the rest of my life.
I’m so proud to be your granddaughter!
I was telling nan and my mum about the reading & how i now know you’re okay and we were all crying!
But today you got to speak to your little wife & my mum. It’s even more better knowing you’re with your mum!
Nan misses you like crazy Bamp and i bloody know you do too! It’s crazy - whenever we sit in your seat in the living room we all get chills and as we found out today you’re sat there so i’m sorry for squishing you👀
I wish i could go every day just to be able to talk to you Bamp but i know that’s not possible. I’ll be back soon though, just to speak to you again!
Forever my hero Bamp, dont forget that!
I love you more than words can describe!
Your little girl❤️

Bamp,
How is this pain still so agonising? You’re in my mind every minute of the day. Words cant even describe how much i miss you & i forever wish i could see you one last time!
I’m really not okay since losing you Bamp, i’m putting a smile on and being brave but everything hits 10x worse when i’m alone.
I’m forever back and forth the docs just to try make myself feel a little less numb.
Just wish to hear off you one last time Bamp!
I love you more than words can describe, speak soon my hero.
Lots of love
Your little girl❤️

Berk.

Thought I’d drop in, I’m currently in a hospital bed having some treatment for the kidneys and being in the heath is a lot harder now it was the last place I got to see you, even harder you didn’t even know I was there.

Hopefully all the stuff they’re doing the next couple of weeks fixes me.

I can’t sleep, and I’m just wondering if there’s still a piece of you around the place a few floors above where I am, I hope there’s not I hope you’re watching Nan and getting a good rest up there. But if there is, could you maybe give me a little sign that you forgive me for not being around so much at the end. It would really mean alot to me becuase I feel like I’m carrying that with me everyday and I’m doing as I promised I’m there for Nan as much as I possibly can be even if I can’t visit I’ll phone to make sure she’s okay, but a sign that I’m going enough and you’re not sad or angry with me would really help me. Doesn’t have to be big maybe get a trifle on the desert menu tomorrow for me or let meatloaf come on the radio .

Nan’s birthday last week, she didn’t enjoy it. Not the same without you, but you were talked about as always, and missed and always and loved as you wil be forever.

I love you.

Hopefully the trifle is on the menu xxx

Hey Berk,

Just wanted to check in, I miss you.

Big game tomorrow for wales, they’ve been awful so probably best you’ve missed the last few games!! But I’ll be supporting them for you.

Hope you’re resting peacefully, give nan a little sign if you can she would love that for her birthday!

I love you xx

Hey Bamp!
How has it been one whole year since we laid you to rest! Time moves so fast and it’s clear i miss you more and more each day. It’s crazy to think, this time last year i was getting drenched walking Ziggy so nan had piece of mind he was going to behave when we were out the house.
I sit and think about you every day, hoping that one day you’ll appear and it’s all just been one long nightmare. I hope you’re okay up there, im sure you are with Benji, Barney, Charlie, Duke and Alf. Bloody hell bamp that’s your whole gang back with you!! And of course Aunty viv.
I hope im doing you proud bamp, give me a sign for me to know you’re with me will you.
I love you much more than words can describe.
You’re little girl❤️

Hey Bamp, hope you’re doing well up there. Times are not getting any better down here, time heals so they say but i feel i’ll never heal from this heart break. My whole world turned upside down.
I haven’t been to see nan recently and im sorry for that but i’ve been pretty low. I promise ill make time to get up to her in the next couple days.
Me nd mum still fight like there’s no tomorrow bamp & sometimes i wish you were here to shout. We barely speak now & i think im coming to the terms of the fact she has her own life. Still hurts but life moves on.
I wish i could see you again, just for one last time. Just to cuddle you and cry to you with all my problems. Forever feeling worthless because my hero’s no longer with me.
I love you more than words can describe.
You’re little girl❤️