Alan Vincent McCabe (15 May 1981 - 23 Jul 2023)

Just missing you so much, Alanie; we all are. 💔💔💔💔💔💔

A few words about Alan

When I see photos and memes on Facebook about growing up in the 80s with a pile of bikes and kids nowhere to be seen I think of Alan and “Becky”. We had adventures. We were naughty and packed weird lunches of carrots and sausages in our mom’s Tupperware and went for day-long hikes into forbidden places, like the conveyor trenches in the mine processing areas, or across the railroad tracks into the next suburb where we’d tease dogs through the fences and get shouted at. We got lost. We got sunburned. We envied Al’s new bike that he got for Christmas. We swam in streams and ravines. We slept in tents in the backyard and played Marco Polo in the pool. We tried to dig out the coins the strange neighbour paved into his driveway with screwdrivers and used the money for ice cream. We had a lot of fun.

Over the years we lost touch.

But those special days, when I remember being a kid and playing outside until the streetlights came on we had to run home for supper, are where Alan will live forever.

He left us too soon. May he rest in peace.

Donating on behalf of my beloved brother who cared deeply for animals, but had a very special affinity for doggos. I love and miss you more than you will ever know, Al

In a faraway small country, formerly called Rhodesia, now known as Zimbabwe, a year after the end of the bush war which had raged for many years, baby Alan was born to his very proud parents, Vince and Linda McCabe, on a chilly Friday night in May 1981. He was delivered into the world at the Birchenough Maternity Home in Gwelo, Zimbabwe, in the same room as his mother had been born, 21 years earlier. The doctor was probably well past retirement age and very possibly the same one who had delivered Al’s mom!

Vince was a full time soldier and at the time was a Captain at the Zimbabwe Military Academy (formerly the Rhodesian School of Infantry) at the time. Linda was a bank clerk.

The little family moved to South Africa in May 1982 and in February 1984 Alan’s sister was born. The big brother took his role seriously, at times entertaining, at times teasing, and as they grew older, leading her into all kinds of mischief, and leaving her to take the blame when Mom found out!

The family moved many times (final count of moves before the parents divorced in 2002 was 24 in 22 years). The children moved from one school to another until 1993 when two major events took place. The first was that Vince accepted a job in Ghana and started working in his new job in July of that year. The second was the arrival of a baby brother in August. The result of the Ghanaian move was that Alan and his sister became boarders at separate schools while Dad, Mom and baby lived in Ghana. Alan attended Kearsney College in Kwa-Zulu Natal until he matriculated.

Alan and his sister became young jet-setters, quickly learning the ways of long distance travel, adapting easily to the social environment in Obuasi when they visited for holidays. They loved spending time with their youngest sibling and took pleasure in making him laugh. However, it wasn’t always fun and games. The impact of being so far away from their parents, away from each other and other family members, was difficult on both of them.

Parents returned to South Africa in late 1996 and the marriage finally ended in 2002. Alan moved to the UK in late 2005 and his Mom joined him there in 2007. Both worked as care workers in the Maidstone area until Alan decided to attend university. He spent 7 years studying, starting with a college year and ending with an MSc in Finance, Investment and Financial Risk Management from Kent University, Canterbury.

In 2017 Alan joined BAE Systems Applied Intelligence in Guildford and then moved to the Leeds office in late 2019. He was enthusiastic and motivated by his role in project management, and received the support of several managers which spurred him on to further development and passing his knowledge on to others.

Alan was loved by many. He was a complex man with various health issues which severely impacted his everyday life. He adored the two Italian Greyhounds, Elphie and Arlagh, which he and his partner Laura had adopted.

He was a beloved first born son, alternatively with horns on his head, a forked tail and a pitchfork, and yet to others, complete with the halo, the wings and the harp. He would never listen to his Mom. He was a little daredevil, a rule breaker, mischievous and a clown. He cared deeply for his siblings.

One teacher at play school noted in his first report that ‘The sand, water and trees are Alan’s natural habitat.’. Three years later another teacher wrote ‘Alan is the toughest nut I’ve ever tried to crack!’. He loved swimming, gymnastics and he loved his BMX bike; he tried always to be so ‘cool’.

He bit a hole through his tongue, he stuck a pitchfork through his toe, he boiled frogs, he set fire to his Great Grandmother’s stove, he stripped the gears on his Grandfather’s beach buggy, he scraped our car against the wall, he almost drowned in a deep mud puddle (only rescued by a passing stranger), he told his Mom it wasn’t her fault she was an underachiever, he broke a streetlight with a stone shot from a home made catapult, and the window of a house nearby, he took his little brother on an off-road motorcycle ride and almost killed them both. He was the most energetic and unstoppable little boys, always busy, always creatively engaged in naughtiness. He was gregarious and chatty and talked back - a lot! He was always presenting behaviours and attitudes which forced parents to stretch their thinking about suitable readjustment techniques. Wooden spoons, flip flops etc seemed not to have much of an effect.

What wonderful memories you blessed us with, Alan.

This is a special memory from his sister:

That Time That Bex Parked
Back when I was around 17 and learning to drive, emphasis on the word ‘learning’, I was home for the holidays and my dad (stubborn man that he is!) insisted that I take his rather new and rather expensive car to the shop to buy some groceries. At this point I’d only had the sum total of 3 driving lessons and was an extremely nervous driver, but Alan said he’d accompany me to make sure things went smoothly. Ha! Famous last words.

Fast forward to a few failed attempts at starting the car and lots of leg shaking later, we were finally en route and here was where trouble was waiting just around the corner and over the pavement for us. We were stopped at a stop street on an incline where I had to make a left turn. Alan being the impatient person he was told me I had to turn the steering wheel all the way over to the left and put my foot down on the accelerator to go. Despite feeling uncomfortable with these instructions I listened and did as I was told, which resulted in us having mounted the pavement and with the nose of the car firmly ensconced in the wall of an apartment called “Bear Park”, which we aptly renamed “Bex Parked”. I cried. Alan laughed. My dad had to pay for approximately R25,000 of damages to his vehicle 🙃🙃🙃


This is from Laura, the lovely lady who shared Alan’s life for the last 3 years;

I got a frantic call from Al one day who had taken the dogs for a walk at Roundhay Park. He'd lost Arlagh, she had been chased away by another dog and he couldn't find her. He was frantically searching for her so I ran up to Roundhay to help. On the way he called again, now Elphie had also run off! Now we were looking for two dogs who had run in separate directions!!

When I got there 25 minutes later, people were coming up to me when I was shouting the dogs names 'is it a little grey dog....I've seen it over there'. Then I got another call, luckily he'd found Elphie so we just needed to find Arlagh. By the time I turned the corner and saw Al, he had them both but was collapsed in a sweaty, bright pink heap. I don't think he'd run so fast (or for so long) in 10 years!

We had a lovely holiday in June 2022 to Rhodes, where Al was so happy swimming in the sea and pool. The day we hired our own boat, Al got to play captain for the day which I know he loved.

Alan also carried many scars, physical, mental and emotional, from events in his childhood and youth. He worked incredibly hard to lift himself from some very dark times in his life, to improve himself and his future prospects. Inevitably the pain he constantly suffered began to wear him down yet he strove to make plans to support himself.

He died alone on a rainy Saturday night in July 2023 in Leeds. There was no warning. There was no final goodbye call.

We, his family, are devastated by his passing. We miss him terribly and life is so much the poorer without him. We were not prepared for the formalities which follow and have reached out to the community to help us to cover the costs for a cremation service and gathering.

Alan’s sister and her husband have flown to the UK from Saudi Arabia, and his younger brother has come from South Africa. The family will travel from West Sussex to Leeds to hold the service at Lawnwood Crematorium on Monday 7 August 2023 at 15:15.

The family is deeply grateful for each and every donation made by generous and caring friends, colleagues and family from all over the world. It truly is an amazing time to receive this outpouring of love for our son and brother.

Hambe gahle, Alan. Thank you for 42 years of memories and love.