Irregardless of everything and anything, You always loved me, and unfailingly supported me... Difficult as I was! I never reciprocated well enough just how much I valued and felt immeasurable gratitude and pride, especially regarding your unwavering selflessness and faith/belief, not just for all of us within your sphere (friends, family, familiars and strangers alike) but universally generous with all that you had. All that you were able to offer. Without hesitation. I know that I am still lightyears away from being able to emulate your example. I actually don't believe it's an achievable goal, even if I had all the time in world. It was your nature. Your quality. Despite that, I want you to know, that I won't stop trying! It'll be uphill. I've an absolute mountain of wrongs that I need to right. Although I am incontrevertably culpable for each and every single sin of mine, the decision I've made now is to atone. Be better. Redeem myself and to honour and sustain the ideals I, admittedly, nowhere near enough showed my appreciation and admiration for. Selfish and ungrateful boy that I was, I quite often did the exact opposite. You deserved much more. Much better than what I burdened you with. But please know that I always Loved you. I've always Loved you, Nanna. Not a day goes by without you fondly in my thoughts and feelings. I might never become a good person. But I can always try to become a better person.
You've given me the tools, foundation and (innumerable) opportunities to do so. I pray one day I'll be able to make you proud of me. I know you're still in my corner even now. Every day. Always. And just know, that I always have, and always will rely upon and cherish this! XxxxxX
Matthew Linford-Cole
(Maff, unless I was in trouble :D)
donated £27 in memory of Jacqueline
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