Pam Kilfeather (14 Jun 1944 - 15 Jul 2020)

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PamCancer Research UK

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Randalls Park Crematorium Randalls Road Leatherhead KT22 0AG
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Dear friends and family of Jane Pamela Kilfeather, "Pam"

It is with great sadness that I have to inform you that Mum passed away on July 15th, aged just 76.

She was married to Dad (Ray) for 53 years and was an exceptional wife. They both fulfilled thier vows 'in sickness and in health', Mum had frequently had to care for Dad after stays in hospital now it was his turn. He and I had the opportunity and priviledge to care for Mum in the last weeks of her life at home in Abinger.

As a Mum to Anthony, Laurence and myself she was very special too. Her love was unconditional and everlasting. She was always very encouraging and positive. The most wonderful woman I was so fortunate and very proud to have called my Mum,.

As a Granny, to Freddie, Tom, Cerys, Charlie and Jess (you wouldn't dare ask about her Grandchildren unless you had time to spare!) she was great fun. She loved the role of Granny and looked forward to seeing them, this feeling didn't diminish as they got older, well not for Mum anyway!. Ant, Laurence and myself weren't at all surprised when our photo gallery was taken over by the photographs of the children. She loved reading to them, baking with them, doing all sorts of crafts. She was really enjoying watching them grow into fine young men and women.

She passed away peacefully, at home, surrounded by her family. We take great comfort from the fact that she wasn't to have a long and painful end. The void that she's left behind is of course massive, but she always used to say that time is a great healer so we do hope she's right!

I'm so sorry that you may not have been included in the numbers for Mum's Service of Celebration. If the restrictions weren't in place we would have been able to invite so many more people and I know she would've been so pleased to think you would have been there.

For those of you that have sent us condolence cards thank you, the number we've received is amazing. For those of you that have taken the time to stop and ask after us or talk about Mum, thank you. You've been a great comfort to us all.

Please do leave a message, write about a special memory, add a photograph and of course if you wish a donation to Cancer Research UK.

Best wishes, Fiona (Nonie)
(Pam's daughter)

Ellen Nicholson donated in memory of Pam

Remembering my sister

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  • Blimey Auntie, I’ve never known you be short of words! Thank you for your generous donation.

    Posted by Fiona on 24/08/2020 Report abuse
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North Holmwood Stoolball Club donated £25 in memory of Pam

To Fiona and family our thoughts are with you all at this sad time. Please accept this donation in your Mums memory with love from your NH Stoolball Sisters. X x

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  • Oh girls, what a lovely surprise! You are a cheeky bunch taking advantage of my ancient mobile not allowing me to join the what's app group. I've been so busy I haven't really missed Stoolball, though my body has!, I have however missed all 'my sisters' and so look forward to meeting up soon. Thanks again.

    Posted by Fiona on 30/07/2020 Report abuse
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Penny Potter donated in memory of Pam

Pam was a wonderful lady, very kind and generous with a great sense of humour, you will be greatly missed and I send lot's of love to the family, xxx

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  • Thanks Pen, it's very kind of you to make a donation and leave such a lovely message. I put the flowers on your Mums grave this evening, I said they were a gift from Mum! I'm sure where ever they are they've already shared a joke and a coffee, not to mention a ciggy or two!

    Posted by Fiona on 30/07/2020 Report abuse
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Penny Potter wrote

Pam was a wonderful lady, very kind and generous with a great sense of humour, you will be greatly missed and I send lot's of love to the family, xxx

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Tim & Sally Dumbrill donated in memory of Pam

We are so very sorry for your loss.
Fond memories of meeting up whilst camping in the New Forest, she was so happy and relaxed there.
Always ready for a laugh and a natter, kettle straight on and a bit of cake (lemon drizzle if lucky).
Sending our love to all of you.

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  • Thank you so much for your kind donation. Did the horse in your tent cause any damage?, Dad was laughing so much telling me the story I'm not sure I ever heard the conclusion! Oh yes we get through so many kettles as its always on as you know, lemon drizzle eh..I'm fortunate enough to bake a pretty good cake but I'm not sure I will ever be as good a baker as Mum! (Feel free to contradict this!!). Thanks again, see you soon

    Posted by Fiona on 30/07/2020 Report abuse
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Jane Ward donated £250 in memory of Pam

This donation is sent with fondest memories of Pam Kilfeather, our friend and neighbour, from all her 'Dene' family.

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  • Oh my goodness, I can't believe the generosity of our wonderful neighbours. Thank you to each and every one of you that made a donation in Mum's memory..it really is very kind of you. Mum and Dad bought a derelict house at the end of 1966, they lived in a caravan in Tadworth whilst 'doing it up' moving in 11 months later. That property was 25 The Dene, Mum was never interested in moving away, the house and garden is full of wonderful memories a great comfort to us all at this sad time. Thank you so much for all your best wishes and condolence cards, it really makes us feel genuinely cared for and supported. Who would wish to live anywhere else?

    Posted by Fiona on 30/07/2020 Report abuse
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marcus wilson donated in memory of Pam

A privilege to have known Such a lovely lady.

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  • Thanks Marcus, kind of you to take the time to leave a message x

    Posted by Fiona on 28/07/2020 Report abuse
  • Thank you for your most generous donation too, think how many pints you've given up for that! Quite a sacrifice, but much appreciated XX

    Posted by Fiona on 29/07/2020 Report abuse
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penny Morrison donated £50 in memory of Pam

A privilege to have known you as both a work colleague and a very dear friend. You will be sadly missed, especially your wicked sense of humour. You will always have a place in our hearts. Love Penny and Dennis

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  • THank you so much for taking the time to leave a message Penny, it's really lovely reading how much meant to others not just her family. Thank you for most generous donation too. Mum was in St Georges when she befriended a young woman with an 8 month old daughter. She too had advanced lung cancer, she grew up in a house of non smokers, had never had a single puff of a cigarette. They were going to treat her cancer aggressively hoping that they would extend her prognosis..who knows maybe your donation will find the cure! Let's hope so!

    Posted by Fiona on 28/07/2020 Report abuse
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Sue Buxey wrote

Just to let you know that we are all thinking of you at this very sad time. Min has enjoyed many phone calls with Pam in recent years and Pauline, Denise and I used to live next door in our formative years before moving away and Denise recalls many fun stays with the family in your caravan.

Our love and best wishes to you all, Min, Sue, Pauline and Denise

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  • Thank you so much for your kind words, I shall ensure Min gets a slice of cake tomorrow, maybe some bubbles too!

    Posted by Fiona on 28/07/2020 Report abuse
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Ann and David Murray wrote

Our friend Pam who was a loyal friend to us over many years. We enjoyed our trips to the New Forest with Ray and Pam and the fun we had on our New Year breaks where we cried with laughter over the silliest of things. Also eating New Forest chocolates on the way home will never be the same again without Pam the anticipation of which one to eat was special we miss her already.

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  • She fell in love with the New Forest through the two of you, she enjoyed your trips very much. I know Dad and David were always very good friends but I believe your friendship with Mum had also developed, I know she considered you a very good and special friend.

    Posted by Ann and David on 27/07/2020 Report abuse
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