Mr John Edward Sivil (21 Jun 1945 - 28 Sep 2019)

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Location
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Date
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JOHN EDWARD SIVIL Formerly of Auchendores, Finlaystone Estate and Uplawmoor.
Peacefully at home in Alford Lincolnshire on 28th September 2019 in his 75th year.
Dearly beloved husband of Sally (nee Rowan of Cambuslang) and adoring Dad to his “Twa Dugs” Bracken and Ranza. “Home is the sailor, home from the sea, and the Hunter home from the hill.”

The funeral service has taken place at Alford Crematorium. Enquiries to Lincolnshire Co-operative Funeral Service, 39 South Street, Alford. Lincs. LN13 9AJ. Tel: 01507 463444 Donations, if wished to RSPCA and RNLI.

We have raised £309.46 for these charities on the day.


The following biography is from Ros Latham's eulogy.

John has lived a full life and we are here to celebrate and honour that life. You will all have different stories to tell and know a particular part of John’s life the best. We cannot do justice to a life in the time we have in this chapel this morning. As we recall different parts of your life I hope you can add more detail to the parts you knew best and continue to share stories in the Corn Exchange after this service.

John was born in Skegness in the Cottage Hospital on 21st June 1945. Apparently, can you imagine, he was a cute, blonde haired blue eyed boy. But his early childhood was complicated and most of his childhood was spent in a foster home in Scunthorpe. His foster dad was an ex Marine and a very keen gardener – he grew all the family veg and instilled in John his love of gardening. Vegetables, that is, John did not see the point of flowers or indeed herbs as he liked his food plain – well except for curries. His foster mum was very fond of him and he was brought up with their daughter. John was very proud of his foster father’s military background, which probably led to his interest in guns.

It was at this time that John was introduced to the Woodcraft movement. This seems to have given John the window on life that he wanted, and his life long love of the outdoors, self-reliance and adaptability. Within this movement he met John Foster (Fozzy) his lifelong best friend. Sadly Fozzy has passed away – he was a few years older than John, and his widow, Jenny is too poorly to be with us today.

At around 15 years old, John moved in with Fozzy and his working life was soon to begin. He gained his secondary school certificate with credit in woodwork and in 1960began and completed an apprenticeship in pipe fitting at Appleby-Frodingham Steel Company – the Scunthorpe steel works.

As john completed his apprenticeship he resigned and headed for new adventures. From 1969 – 1975 , he served in the Merchant navy and the Blue Star Line (The sister company was the White Star Line which ran passenger liners including the Titanic) he became a Senior mechanic Petty Officer where his duties included the maintenance and running of diesel generators and hydraulic hatch work.
He used to say he loved being a Petty officer because he got his own cabin. He had some extraordinary experiences. There was a murder on board ship at one time, he acquired a pet parrot, which he later left in a London pub and a shipmate had a pet monkey. (glad he stuck to dogs in Alford). He sailed round Vietnam during the war, under the Golden gate bridge in San Francisco and even sailed with a Mr. White, Cilla Black’s uncle!

There were high jinx in Germany when his ship was being repaired there where his loyalty to a friend (one of john’s qualities) nearly got him in big trouble. One of hos friends was a black guy and when they were at a dance, the friend asked a blonde Teutonic beauty to dance. She sneered at him and his colour, saying she did not dance with pigs. A punch was thrown, John weighed in and things escalated. The Christmas tree was knocked over, and the flames started to spread. The boys high tailed it back to the ship with the police in hot pursuit. they got up the gang plank and the police attempted to follow. the captain blocked the gangplank and announced ‘This ship is British soil. You cannot come aboard.’ While the police went off for a warrant, the captain dispatched John and his mates in a taxi to the airport and the first flight home – a close shave!

He returned briefly to the UK and managed among other things some bus driving but was sacked when he saw a lassie home, he was the last bus, so he took her home in his bus. He might have got away with it had there not been a party involved with the bus still parked outside next morning! As he put it, he experienced a few DCMs – Don’t Come Monday.

He went out to New Zealand for a couple of years and worked for Davidson Sheet metal and Plumbing involving fabrication of pipe and ducting for Government buildings and an advisory role for installations. But what was important in New Zealand was meeting Jock, whose dog (female) was also called Jock. That inspired John in later years to call his dog, Jock too. He would go off bush hunting for days at a time and love New Zealand life - their friendliness, the BBQs, the weekends…. But he also had an accident that would take its toll. he was working up scaffolding when a large oxy-acetylene cylinder rolled past. Ever safety conscious he instantly grabbed it to stop it and ended up flat on his back for 3 weeks. In later years MRI scans revealed 6 discs had been severely damaged.

Back to the UK in 1978 as a Gas Board subcontractor, but wasn’t too keen on the demands of 24 hour call out and moved to his own kitchen and bathroom fitting business. He worked for Nuttall and Maclean and got a bungalow in Aberdeen. John had gone North to Scotland for 6 weeks and ended up staying 35 years. But in Scotland he developed a deep deep love for the country the hills and the sea. He made good friends of Joan and Rannoch MacCallum eventually buying a house in Uplawmoor near Joan.

And it was when he was at Uplawmoor he met Sal. He enjoyed sailing and canal boat holidays and of course his dogs, Timber and Snowy and then pup Jock. Around this time he bought his little red MG open top sports car and met Sal on 7th September 2003 at a Country and Western Festival in Millport. He had enough money for the car but only enough money to get enough petrol to take Sal round the island.

First date September 21st 2003 and 10 years later married in Alford. As Sal said, they just clicked. but it was so much more that that. Sal and John were soulmates, friends and transformed each other’s lives beyond imagining.

They intended to sell both their houses in 2007 and move to Lincolnshire but Sal was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and things were postponed until 2013. John was an enormous support emotionally and physically during that time. As Sal put it – that’s when I knew he was a keeper!
They managed a cruise on the QE2 in 2008. It was good but John couldn’t quite adjust to sitting and being waited on and not working on the ship.

Another important strand to John’s story was his sister Margaret using the Salvation Army to trace him, and being reunited with her and their brother, Arthur. Coming down for Margaret’s surprise 70th made him realise how homesick he was for Lincolnshire and Sal came to the conclusion she would rather live with him in his world than without him in her own. Margaret and her family always made John welcome but John would freely admit big gatherings and groups of people were never his thing.

I will talk a little more about the man John was but first please take the opportunity to gather your own thoughts and memories of John as we take a period of reflection and listen to …

Music for reflection: Uist Tramping Song

Bible Reading: Matthew 8: 25-27 (wedding)
There is a storm on Lake Galilee whilst Jesus is on a boat with the disciples. The disciples are terrified and Jesus is fast asleep.

“They went to him and woke him up. “Lord!” they cried. “Save us! We are going to die!”. He asked them, “Why are you afraid, you who have little faith?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. The men were amazed. “what kind if man is this?” they asked. “Even the winds and the sea obey him!”

Sal and John had had one wobble with Sal’s cancer before they came down to Alford, but as they moved John was diagnosed with prostrate cancer which had already spread to bones and spine. They knew they were sailing into stormy waters. But stormy waters have made their love and commitment stronger and drawn them ever closer. They have managed to share their lives and yet remain their own person too. Of course John loved his dogs too. Bracken arrived, Jock passed, Ranza arrived. And they ere a bit pampered. Jock had to have an op, John had to run through everything with the vet. The anaesthetic. Not just any anesthetic – the best – usually reserved for prem babies. Sal phoned John the night before the op. How were things? A little anxious John fessed up the little fella had had a special meal. Let me guess, said sal. Fillet steak? she asked sweetly. Oh, I knew you’d understand, he said with a sigh of relief.

I said earlier the outdoors was John’s church just as it was that day on the lake for the disciples. Not only did John love the outdoors and the Highlands he worked hard to establish a wildlife friendly garden and home. No weedkiller or bleach! And he was rewarded with dragonflies, goldfinch, yellowhammers, long tailed tits and his foxes. OCH no better not mention that – farmers present.

John had a natural way of working with and respecting creation and his creator which I am sure enables him to have his amazingly positive outlook on life despite all. He could get Sal to crack a smile even in the darkest moments – but she tells me no detail – too inappropriate for a vicar to read out!

John and Sal belonged together. I would go further to say in their love for each other they gained a glimpse of what heaven is like. In John’s care for the outdoors and creation he intuited God’s love for that creation.

It is tragic to say goodbye to John this morning but we trust that that glimpse of heaven that he enjoyed with Sal, he now enjoys in all its fulness where on illness, no pain, no tears can destroy and where all is made new.

Sal received another reading from Paul’s Letter to the Romans which says it all.
Nothing can separate us from the love of God, Neither life, nor death, neither angels or demons, neither our fears for today nor our hope for tomorrow, not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above nor the earth below, indeed nothing in all creation can separate us from the love of God as revealed in Jesus Christ.

May John rest in peace and rise in glory.

Hymn 561 Will your anchor hold in the storms of life?

Geraldine McCarthy wrote

Dear Sally, I was so sorry to hear of the death of your dear husband, John. However, having read John's obituary I have no doubt that, in the time you shared, you enjoyed a most wonderful relationship. I know just how empty and lost you must feel without him, but how lucky you have been to meet someone who made you so happy and whom you clearly made very happy. Love like that doesn't come to everyone but it is such a wonderful gift when it does come. My sincerest sympathy, Sally, but I know that deep love you had for one another will be the greatest consolation and strength to you in the years ahead. "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".
With love from Geraldine McCarthy

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  • You both look so happy Sally. Am very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you, xxx Matt and Denise (Cambuslang)

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Uploading photos, still to figure out how to save them!

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