Daphne Mary Carpenter (Passed away 7 Aug 2019)

Location
North Wiltshire Crematorium Swindon Road Swindon SN4 8ET
Date
22nd Aug 2019
Time
10am
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In loving memory of Daphne Mary Carpenter who sadly passed away on 7th August 2019

Rob Carpenter wrote


Intro
• Good morning everyone and thank you so much for coming along today to pay your respects to mum. I know it would mean so much to her have you all here.
• Let me add my welcome to those of you joining us from afar over the Internet. I know it’s still the middle of the night over there, so If you do fall asleep, and people tend to when I’m talking…, then you can watch the whole service on catch up from Saturday.
Early Years
• Mum was born in May 1928 here in Swindon –the only child of Fred & Grace Stacey.
• Mum really enjoyed her school days despite the war being on making many friends, and became lifelong friends with Hilda Merchant & Jean Kendrict.
o After passing her 11 plus, she attended Headlands Grammar School where she proudly attained her Matriculation Certificate before leaving school in the summer of 1945.
• She was delighted to gain employment as a clerk within the Swindon Railway Offices where she worked for many years & her name is proudly featured on a plaque within the current Swindon Steam Railway Museum.
o She loved going along to see this plaque and checking out that is was still clean and shiny, which indeed it still is.
Meeting Dad
• Now along with all this studying & hard work mum also found time to have some fun!
o She enjoyed her free pass train trips to the Musicals in London, particularly Oklahoma she told me, and also outings to the seaside.
o Also she loved attending the various cinemas & dance halls that prevailed in Swindon at the time.
• Apparently her favourite was the “Bradford Dance Hall”, in Swindon’s Old Town which now incidentally is the building that houses The Swindon Arts Centre.
• Now this was in the day when people actually danced with each other, no silent discos around then! & to quote her own words, “this particular guy somehow always seemed to manage to end up being my dancing partner”.
o Well, I’m delighted to say that over 70 years on this particular guy is sitting here in the front row today & John & I are proud to call him our dad, Roy.
o Mum & Dad married on 1st September 1951 – so were married for almost 68 years.
First Home / Rob / Caring for her mother
• My parents were proud of purchasing their first home together in Swindon’s Ponting Street.
• During subsequent years mum spent a lot of time caring for her own mother, and then mum and dad decided to start a family.
o She gave birth to yours truly on 16th September 1957 at The Cheriton Maternity Home.
o It’s very poignant for me that I was born just a couple of rooms away from where my mum ended her days in what is now The Cheriton Nursing Home, where the staff incidentally area absolutely fantastic. (Welcome if here)
The Shop/ John
• Now probably unbeknown to many people during this period of her life Mum had harboured an ambition to open & run her very own General Stores, which is not something that young married ladies did back in those days.
o However, with the full support of my dad “Carpenters Stores” was set up in 1962 and opened its doors in Beatrice Street, just a stone’s throw from one of the main Swindon Railway Works entrances.
• Mum worked incredibly hard juggling the demands of her business with family life and motherhood, but she always made the time to ensure that I was ACTUALLY doing my homework, rather than escaping over the park to play football which was my passion at the time.

• On 30th November 1966 my brother John came into the world & so mum had the additional demands of a young baby to care for.

• Our grandfather, Mr Fred Stacey, who had lived with us for some time was also needing ever increasing amounts of support.
o Mum was very successful with everything that she did but none of it would have been possible without the fantastic support of my dad, who not only held down a full time job but also helped with the running of the shop, looking after us kids and supporting my grandfather.
o He was man truly multi-tasking, not an easy thing for us guys to do as of course you know!
• I guess we were in essence a very modern family living through a time when traditions still prevailed, but as many a travelling salesman found to his cost, in business my mum was: A LADY NOT TO BE MESSED WITH!!!
o As a developing child I often used to stand at the back of the shop chuckling away as she made these grown men in designer suits squirm, and then miraculously manage to reduce their previously “non- negotiable” wholesale prices down to what she was prepared to pay, oh, and it was best that they didn’t forget a little gift for her at Xmas, she could always sell if she didn’t like it!
o Oh she often did, I was amazed how much man will pay for a gift wrapped big box of chocolates on Xmas Eve, especially after a visit to the pub!
 Observing all this was GREAT LESSONS FOR A LIFETIME FOR ME!

o Mum was a trailblazer in many ways & proudly challenged the Swindon Grocers Association into accepting her as their first ever female member & paved the way for others to eventually follow in her footsteps.

• Life at Carpenter’s Stores
• “Carpenter’s Stores” was an integral part of our family home whilst John & I were growing up & many a character would come into the shop & entertain us.
o Also we were virtually the only house to have a telephone so often customers would come through to use our household phone.
 Many a Birth, Marriage & Passing was announced to family members over our telephone, and many of life’s issues of the day were discussed and argued about over our phone.
• Thank goodness there was no BREXIT to talk about then!
o I certainly learnt far more about life eavesdropping in on these conversations than I ever did at school!

Days out / Holidays
• Despite incredibly busy lives mum & dad always found the time for family Sunday days out & we also enjoyed some great family holidays at the various “Butlin-lands” that thrived around the country at that time, and also a memorable holiday to Blackpool.
Broadway
• Great though living within Carpenters Stores was my parents purchased a lovely detached bungalow at The Broadway, Rodbourne Cheney in 1978. Although we moved there mum’s business continued to thrive until “Carpenter’s Stores” closed its doors for the final time in June 1985.

Retirement
• In her retirement mum became an Avon lady & also provided great support to Alayne & myself, helping us at home as we pursued our busy careers both working long hours and travelling all over the country.
• It was great for mum & dad that they now had a little more time to re-ignite their passion for ballroom dancing & also, together with John, travel around the country on coach tours visiting many interesting places.
• One of my mum’s final aspirations in life was to move into a quality apartment in Swindon’s old town, to enjoy as she put it “the second half of our retirement”.
o And so in March 2006 my parents moved to Mill Court in Swindon’s Old Town, next to the lakes & continued to enjoy life there.
Failing Health
• Sadly, following a series of strokes in 2012 my mum’s health started to decline and for her remaining years she was cared for by my dad.
o Supported by John they did an absolutely brilliant job in caring for her at home & looking after her until, after a bout of pneumonia, she finally had to move into The Cheriton Care home just ahead of her 91st Birthday in May this year for her last couple of months,
 So back to where her first son was born.
Final Word
• In mum’s own words “life has been very good to me”.
o Well mum throughout your life you have been so very good to us & through your vision, determination, hard work, devotion and love have contributed so much to the lives that Dad, John, Alayne, myself & indeed many others have enjoyed, and continue to enjoy to this day.
o I’ve been so very proud to call you my mum, you will be so very sadly missed. rest in peace now. xxx






















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