Kathy Danjie Lim (15 Mar 1983 - 8 Aug 2018)

In loving memory of Kathy (Danjie) Lim who sadly passed away on 8th August 2018.
A loving wife to David, and devoted mother to Amelia and Mattie. A caring daughter and sister. A friend to many.

Although Kathy passed away too soon and we are deeply saddened, we can all be comforted by the fact that that Kathy lived life to the fullest and was always happy. We shall miss her immensely but also remember the happiness and joy she brought to our lives.

The following is an excerpt from Kathy's service held 7th September 2018.

Kathy’s Story

Kathy Lim was born in China in 1983 to father Shuijin Li, mother Liancong Li. Eldest child of three, Kathy was devoted to her siblings, sister Wenwen Li and brother Weilun Li, born 10 and 11 years after her. They shared a closeness that continued into adulthood through video calls and occasional trips home or on the lovely occasions that Kathy’s family came to the UK – when she graduated and when Mattie was born.

David, reflecting on Kathy’s life observed – ‘Kathy had a unique upbringing, she told me that as a child she spent time in her grandmothers village and sometimes caught and dispatched chickens barehanded for meals. Initially I was a little dubious but saw this side of her in a forest cabin when Kathy calmly reached out and caught a large wild frog in mid-air, after it jumped toward me. She giggled seeing me recoil but I remember admiring at how she had come from such humble beginnings to be the woman I met in London.’

At 12 years old Kathy came to the UK to Padworth College boarding school in the beautiful Berkshire countryside. The school website declares they are ‘a school which celebrates individuality and embraces global citizenship’. Here Kathy was at home in her learning environment and happy, making many friends who she kept in touch with all these years . Kathy delighted in keeping connection with her good friends.

In the school holidays Kathy would go to stay with a family friend Genie Lam and her family in Eastbourne, Auntie Genie was a hugely important and supportive figure in Kathy’s life, she was like a second daughter to them and grew up close to Kizzy and King, Auntie Genie’s children, who were similar ages to Kathy. Kizzy reflected that: ‘Kathy was my family. She was the older much more sensible sister - was always there to tell me when I was being a brat, and also the first to be the one to encourage me to get up to no good. It was definitely not her time to go, but I have no doubts that every minute she spent with her friends and family, she was happy, lived life to the full and was always a beautiful and kind person. She will be missed but never forgotten, and I will continue to love and think fondly of all our memories together.’

After school Kathy went to Holloway University of London to study Business Admin & Marketing as an undergrad and then to do an MA in 2006. Kathy was a bright student, so keen to learn – even learning Japanese as an option…. just for fun! University was also a place to make good friends. It was here
that Kathy met Becky and Juliet - Kathy was fun to be with, lively with a great sense of humour – her
friendship circles grew.

After University Kathy went to work for a analyst and market research company in the City. She continued to attend Japanese classes, where she met, and later became valued friends with Cecilia & Nick. Just prior to this Kathy had moved house to sunny Charlton, deciding to move into the lounge to save money, advertising for a new housemate to move into the now vacant bedroom. This new housemate turned out to be Jenni, who started off as a stranger, but later became one of her closest friends, with their shared birthday celebrations becoming a much loved yearly tradition.

Kathy’s social life was always full, with many circles of friends. One of the activities she took up was a badminton club – how fortuitous that was! It was among this group of friends that socialised together that there was a certain David Lim. They didn’t become a couple immediately but eventually started dating. After 6 or 7 months together David took off on a long planned world trip. He wasn’t alone on that trip for long – quite soon he was joined by Kathy who had quit her job, packed her bags and flown to be with him. Courage that she found coming to the UK as a 12 year old was to inspire her to drop everything and follow her heart to be with the man she loved. David still seems rather surprised by this – he puts it down to Kathy’s quirky zest for life.

David reflects – ‘I noticed Kathy's resilience after backpacking with her for several months, as she would very rarely complain about issues or physical discomfort that many others would. I saw her high pain tolerance when she was pregnant with Amelia. Kathy told me she had a some stomach pain and needed to go to the bathroom. As the pain didn't go away we decided to go to hospital. Kathy didn't initially realise it but she was in labour and within 10 minutes of arriving at the hospital her water had broken, and a couple of hours later Kathy had delivered Amelia.’

The happy couple returned to the UK in 2011. Their beautiful and much treasured first child, Amelia, was born in February 2012. This was a big adjustment in Kathy’s life, becoming a fulltime parent and with no family in the UK, there was the chance that she and David might become quite isolated – but with Kathy’s usual verve and friendliness she soon made new friends among the parents of Newham while also keeping up with friends from other parts of her life. Kathy was a devoted homemaker and mother to Amelia and then to Mattie when he came along 3 years later. Kathy loved to get involved in school and nursery activities, hanging out with parents at school or making delightful costumes for the various celebrations – Halloween being particularly memorable!

David and Kathy were married in the beautiful location of Pembroke Lodge in Richmond Park in November 2012. A delightful and happy event shared with their many friends. And life since then has been busy! With two young children never seem to be enough hours in the day!

Kathy was a wonderful, bubbly, quirky, energetic woman. She made the most of life and always pursued opportunities that arose. She was kind and caring, qualities that ensured she has many friends. Kathy was a loving wife, a devoted mother, and caring friend. Her life was cut tragically short but her legacy, your memories of her, the way she made you feel, the love she shared, will stretch out through the months and years to come.

I will finish this tribute to Kathy with some words from David about his beloved wife:
Kathy's kind-heart, cheerfulness and positivity are quickly noticeable, but underneath, Kathy was also a strong person with an unusual inner-strength and determination. She persevered though difficulties at certain times of her life, and came out of it with such happiness and grace, I will always admire and love this about her.

Kathy was completely devoted to her family and introduced an incredible warmth to our household; each day she would give countless hugs and "I love you's" to Mattie, Amelia and I. She was an incredible mother and raised our children with more love and attention than I thought possible. I will always be grateful that Kathy was able to both, experience the joy of motherhood in life, and to have had time to influence and shape Amelia and Mattie, who take after her both in appearance and personality. Mattie playful and cheeky and Amelia sweet and cheerful.

Kathy would write in my Valentines cards that "we were so lucky we found each other".. and although she is gone i remind myself that this is still true. I am fortunate that we met and am grateful to have experienced the love and joy she brought me. she will always remain in my heart. Most of all I will always remember Kathy with love.. as a caring wife, my best friend, my companion.

Lastly, we invite you to share photos and stories of Kathy so that we may always remember her.