Vera Kathleen Stubbington (8 Jan 1922 - 25 Dec 2016)

VERA KATHLEEN STUBBINGTON (nee COWAN)

AS WE ALL KNOW, MUM PASSED AWAY AT LUNCHTIME ON SUNDAY 25th DECEMBER EXACTLY 2 WEEKS BEFORE HER 95th BIRTHDAY AND THUS ENSURED THAT NO FUTURE CHRISTMAS WOULD PASS WITHOUT US THINKING OF HER.

SUNDAYS FIGURED PROMINANTLY IN HER LIFE, MAINLY FOR THE GOOD THINGS, IN THAT SHE WAS BORN ON A SUNDAY (8th JANUARY 1922), GOT ENGAGED ON A SUNDAY (14th SEPTEMBER 1941) AND, TO MAKE IT A HAT-TRICK OF GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO HER, I WAS BORN ON A SUNDAY IN 1945.

THE ELDEST DAUGHTER OF 5 CHILDREN, SHE GREW UP HAVING TO TAKE THE ROLE OF ASSISTANT MUM TO HER YOUNGER BROTHERS AND SISTER WHICH, SHE THOUGHT, SOMETIMES HAD A DETRIMENTAL EFFECT ON HER SOCIAL LIFE.

AN ABOVE AVERAGE PUPIL, HER REPORTS INDICATED THAT SHE WAS PAINSTAKING AND METHODICAL AND SHOWED A PARTICULAR APTITUDE FOR PRACTICAL WORK – NEEDLEWORK AND DOMESTIC SCIENCE – AND SHE HELPED THE SCHOOL WIN THE FIRST LAUNDRY PRIZE 1936. SHE WAS A MEMBER OF THE SCHOOL GYMNASTICS SQUAD AND ALSO FOUND TIME TO BE AKELA TO THE 11th CUB SCOUT GROUP. YOUNGER BROTHER, ROD, WAS A MEMBER OF THAT TROOP AND I AM NOT SURE IF IT WAS COMMENTED ON AT THE TIME, BUT HIS BADGE COLLECTING AND RISE THROUGH THE RANKS DID SEEM TO BE QUITE QUICK.

MUM LEARNED TYPING AT NIGHT SCHOOL AND THIS LED TO HER WORKING AT THE HALIFAX BUILDING SOCIETY. BY THEN SHE HAD MET MORRIE AND THEY BECAME ENGAGED IN 1941. IN JUNE 1942 SHE JOINED THE WRNS IN THE VICTORY 2 DRAFT OFFICE AS A LEADING WREN WRITER AND IN OCTOBER THAT YEAR SHE MARRIED MORRIE.

LIFE WAS TOUGH IN THE WAR, AS IT WAS FOR MOST PEOPLE, BEING NEWLY MARRIED AND WITH MORRIE AWAY. BUT, WHILST IN THE WRNS, SHE FORMED A LIFELONG FRIENDSHIP WITH MAGGS AND JOAN AND SHE OFTEN TALKED FONDLY ABOUT THOSE TIMES.

IN 1946, THE FAMILY MOVED TO GOSPORT WHERE LES WAS BORN IN 1947. FAMILY LIFE WAS ALWAYS IMPORTANT TO MUM. SHE WAS DEVOTED TO HER FATHER AND MOTHER AND MOST SUNDAYS INVOLVED US IN A VISIT TO PORTSMOUTH.

A VERY PROFICIENT KNITTER, SHE SUPPLEMENTED THE FAMILY INCOME BY KNITTING UP TEST PATTERNS FOR COMPANIES TO ENSURE THAT THEY WERE CORRECT BEFORE THEY WERE PUT ON SALE. WITH THE SPARE WOOL, WE WERE GUARANTEED TO BE WARM (AND COLOURFUL) IN WINTER, ALTHOUGH FOR SUMMER, THE WOOLLEN BATHERS WERE NOT HER BEST IDEA. I AGREE WITH MARY BERRY – SOGGY BOTTOMS ARE NOT GOOD.

ONCE WE BOYS WERE ABLE TO BE LEFT, MUM FOUND A JOB IN A GROCERS SHOP IN FORTON ROAD RUN BY WILF AND SADIE OLD. WHEN THEY EXPANDED BY OPENING A SHOP ON THE NEW GOMER ESTATE, SHE WAS GIVEN THE RESONSIBILITY OF RUNNING IT. SHE STILL FOUND TIME TO SPEND WITH HER GRANDCHILDREN, MATTHEW AND CARA WITH TRIPS OUT AND HOLIDAYS TOGETHER.

MORRIE’S SUDDEN DEATH IN 1982 LEFT A BIG HOLE IN HER LIFE AND 2 YEARS LATER SHE MOVED TO A FLAT IN LEE SHE RELIED A LOT ON THE FAMILY WITH TUESDAY MEETINGS WITH HER SIBLINGS, TRIPS WITH JON AND THEN PHILIP WITH PHYL AND RACHAEL. SHE USED TO GO ON THE TRAIN WITH SISTER PHYL TO VARIOUS PLACES, WINDOW SHOPPING BEFORE HAVING A CUP OF TEA AND SHARING A BUN. THEY MUST HAVE TAKEN THE WRONG BUS ONE DAY AS THEY BOTH ENDED UP IN AMERICA, TAKING TEA WITH MATTHEW – JUST 1 OF 3 OR 4 TRIPS SHE MADE OVER THERE.

SHE WAS ALWAYS A VERY PRIVATE PERSON AND AS SHE GOT OLDER, SHE BECAME MORE SUSPISCIOUS OF EVERYTHING. THE SHREDDER WORKED OVERTIME AND NOT MANY PEOPLE WERE INVITED IN TO THE FLAT. BUT SHE WAS A VERY LOYAL PERSON AND ONCE YOU HAD GAINED HER TRUST, SHE WAS VERY GENEROUS WITH HER TIME AND HER MONEY AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.

HER ILLNESS STARTED TO GET WORSE AND, AFTER SOME IN-FLAT HELP, SHE MOVED INTO GLEN HEATHERS IN DECEMBER 2012. IN THIS AGE OF BAD PUBLICITY, I HAVE TO SAY THAT, AT GLEN HEATHERS, MUM’S WELFARE HAS BEEN THEIR TOP PRIORITY AND ALL THE REGULAR STAFF HAVE BEEN CARING AND KIND. LYN WAS THE FIRST CARER WE MET IN 2012 AND I TAKE GREAT COMFORT FROM THE FACT THAT LYN WAS WITH MUM AT THE END.

KIND - FRIENDLY - A REAL LADY - A LOVELY SMILE SOME OF THE RECENT COMMENTS MADE ABOUT MUM SHE WAS ALL OF THESE AND MUCH, MUCH MORE - MORE THAN CAN BE SAID IN JUST A FEW MINUTES

IT’S THE SMILES WE WILL REMEMBER THAT MADE HER - OUR GREAT-GRANNY VERA, OUR GRANNY STUBBS AND OUR MUM

From all in bournemouth

The use of an acronym to remember things, or in this case a special person, can often be very helpful so,

Mum you SOPPY KNIT.......which is not meant to be anything other than memorable, because

S.........stands for Supermum, because she was in every way
O.........stands for Old school, because, for example, she knew and taught me the difference between right and wrong
P,P.......stands for Private Person because in later years, particularly after the passing of Dad in 1982, she did become a more private person, but....
Y .........stands for Young at heart, because this is how she remained, and she loved meeting up with her family and in particular her sister each week, jumping on the first bus or train that came along to go where ever it went, and sometimes even the Isle of Wight ferry!
KNIT.....stands for the fact that Mum was a great Knitter. More recently she would knit various items and take them to the local charity shop in Lee for them to sell, but at one time she worked at home knitting garments, for a company, and a memory I have is sitting with her, unrolling the balls of wool and encouraging her to knit faster. She would say PSSO which stands for pass slip stitch over (no she was not swearing!.....the benefit of using an acronym).

I love you, Mum, you SOPPY KNIT, thank you for everything. God bless you.

Dear Gran

Sitting here having a cup of tea and a biscuit, the memories have come flooding back. Many revolve around day trips taken as kids over to Portsmouth or around Gosport. Trying to keep up with you as you sprinted for a bus and/or the ferry was a challenge for any kid. Your jam was delicious, the raspberry was always my favorite. The way you tried to shepherd Grandad, Cara and I to make sure we behaved (tough as Grandad was the ringleader). Playing pranks on you because it was fun to see your reaction to my teasing especially as you worried so.
Getting to know you when I was older was a bonus and allowed me to appreciate you more. Your wonderful humor that was often dry made me laugh, your encouragement was always welcome and you were honest in your opinion. Being away from you these last few years meant that I missed a lot of time with you, but it was great that you came to see me graduate and Nathan when he was born. I cherish my memories of you and am lucky to be your Grandson, I miss you Gran and thank you for all you have done for me.

Matt

Donation in memory of Vera.

Donation in memory of Vera.

Donation in memory of Vera.

Donation in memory of Vera.

Donation in memory of Vera.

Donation made in memory of Vera.

In loving memory of my Gran, the first person to take me adventuring on the high seas (on a pirate ship that occasionally doubled as our living room sofa).

My childhood is full of memories of Gran: watching her wield her unbelievably weighty handbag, being offered one of the chocolate biscuits she kept in the microwave, her regular Thursday evening visits, enjoying a cup of tea in her flat, with maybe just a weenie slice of something, and so many more happy memories besides.

Gran would often write to us, Juliet and me, letting us know her news and enclosing some 'sticky bun money'. Many sticky buns were enjoyed thanks to her generosity. That was Gran: generous and always willing to share herself, her time, and - in one of our family-favourite stories - a scone!

We miss you, Gran. You will always be in our thoughts.