Christopher Hayward (8 Dec 1957 - 18 May 2016)

Many people have commented on how much I look like my father but the similarities are more than just skin-deep.

Even though we disagreed on many things, from politics to religion, fundamentally we were the same.

We both have a tendency to be introspective, to disappear inside ourselves in large crowds.

My Mum brought out the more sociable side of my Dad, the one that you may all remember.

But with me he knew how to be.

No pressure, no expectation to be a different person.

He taught me how to live in this world.

The fundamental lesson was that you only fail when you give up.

I want to tell you how he taught me this.

When I was 18, I catastrophically failed my A-levels.

I rang my Dad in floods of tears, expecting disappointment and rebuke.

What I got instead was a father who drove 275 miles to take me down the pub and remind me that I wasn’t a failure, all I had to do was keep trying.

This is my guiding principle in my life.

I knew that even when he lived over 3,000 miles away he would drop everything to be by my side, supporting me and loving me; I only had to ask.

I know you thought I was always a little bit weird, Dad.

And that Mark is a little bit weird too.

But you loved us both or who we are and what we have become; I hope we made you proud.

I love you.

U.D.R.M

Have just come home from saying goodbye to a dear friend. It was so poignant listening to the brave words of the family he treasured above everything -he would have been so proud of you kids - and happy remembering how he enriched our lives. So many memories: Chris and Ian smoking disgusting cigars after dinner putting the world to rights on a cloud of port. Visiting Portland and envy that Chris did DIY and Ian just planned it. Spending the Millennium with you Denise and your wonderful family. Suffered after that one!! You being there when Ian died and looking after me in Abu Dhabi. Such fun going round the sights and of course the best eating and drinking places. Even a ball and a German beer Festival! You were a true friend Chris. Sleep in peace. X

Only knew Chris from our Abu Dhabi days and only saw him at various functions, but in his company we (Dawn and myself) always had a laugh. A true gentleman who will be sorely missed, especially by those close to him. R.I.P. matey.

We met Chris and Denise in Abu Dhabi and spent a lot of happy times together. Being an expatriate draws you into long lasting friendships with ties that cannot be broken, we become family and support each other through the toughest of times. When Chris was first diagnosed, all of us close to him felt empty, wondering what the future would hold for both Chris and Denise. Chris on the other hand planted a smile on his face and moved forward with his life, determined to tackle things head on - one of his priorities became reducing his golf handicap - and guess what he did!!!
Chris was a happy family man with a heart of gold, he was charitable and would raise money when he could for organizations that were close to his heart. Denise has been his rock through the dark moments and helped him move peacefully on to the next step of his journey.
Alan and I cannot be there on Friday to say our goodbyes to Chris, but we will be thinking of him, Denise and the family and of course raising a glass or two.
Rest in Peace Chris with lots of love and hugs x

I can't remember the first time I met my Uncle Chris because he was always in my life. I do remember however when the Haywards would descend on my Grans tiny house complete with Muffin the dog. My glamorous Auntie Denise who used Clarins which I thought was so sophisticated and my super handsome Uncle Chris. With our three cousins John, Katherine and Sian my sister and I would charge around the outside of Grans house, shooting spud guns and driving our Grandfather nuts! We would all then crouch around makeshift tables balancing on stool a to eat lovely Welsh butter on bread, Apple tart and custard amongst other things. There were the Christmases and new years parties. One year I called uncle Chris upstairs to show him my secret stash of treasure which consisted of some fudge and gifts sent by an Australian penpal. He was sworn to secrecy!!
I remember him coming over to surprise my mum on her 60th birthday which was so special for us all. I remember how after meeting my energetic son Charlie for the first time he left a bottle of Hendricks gin for me, because he just got I might need it!!
This last year in particular we have made some wonderful memories. The exciting journey over to France in our camper van. The surprise returned when my mum popped out to see him. The craft room in the school house he made for the children. Five o clock beers, seven o clock wine, ten o clock port! We were so welcomed and it was a holiday we will never forget. We both shared a love of family history and he shared his findings with me that week.
Three weeks ago we were out drinking beers with him in Cardiff. He'd had a rough time but as usual was taking it on the chin, open and honest about what he faced. Seizing every opportunity that he could. I was amazed by him truly, such courage and strength.
I was lucky to spend some time with him in those last few days. We chatted, he always asked after Simon, Charlie and Sienna. He was genuinely pleased our 12 year old dog had won a prize in the local dog show and wanted to see pictures! He always made me feel so special, in our last conversation I told him that. He said you were the first, as I was the first grandchild and baby for a while till John came. I said how lucky was I, and I was lucky.
Lucky to have you, lucky to love and be loved by you. Uncle Chris you have taught me so much and changed how I live my life. You seized the day with strength and courage. I will too from now on. I will always love you, my champion. Nan xxxx

Il m'est plus facile d'exprimer mes sentiments en français, désolé.

Pour moi Chris n'était pas seulement un ami, il était un frère, un père. Un homme qui faisait qu'on se sentait un être important, exceptionnel. Quand je le voyais c'était pour moi une bouffée d'oxygène, un moment de détente et de joie. Les mots "respect", "tolérance", "partage", "amour" n'étaient pas seulement des mots, c'était sa vision de la vie.

Aujourd'hui, je me sens comme orpheline, abandonnée. Jusqu'au bout, l'espoir a guidé sa vie et c'est pour cela que je sais qu'il faut que je garde le mien. L'espoir de le revoir un jour si Dieu me le permet. De le rejoindre (mais pas tout de suite) au Paradis car c'est forcément la place d'un homme comme Chris, un homme bon et généreux. J'espère qu'il m'y attendra avec un verre de vin rosé, je lui laisse le Nescafé.

En attendant je garde en mémoire les bons moments passés avec toi, ton sourire, ton rire, ton accent.
Chris, tu étais et tu seras toujours ma famille. Je serai toujours là pour la tienne car elle est aussi la mienne.

Tu nous manques à moi, Dominique, Alexis et Maëlle.
Que Dieu t'accueille en sa Maison et qu'Il veille sur tes enfants, tes petits-enfants et sur Denise.

Repose en paix.

Ton amie, Céline

We've only known Chris for approximately 5 years whilst living in Abu Dhabi, but long enough to get to know a caring, fun loving gentleman with a determined spirit and an eternal optimism.
Thank you for introducing us to 'Half way to Christmas' and the friendliness of the St David's Society in Abu Dhabi. We have fond memories of a great jiver, a truly pleasurable golfing companion and fun nights out often culminating in a glass or two of port.
You will be missed Chris, but never forgotten.