Ray Lapthorne (21 Aug 1943 - 22 Oct 2025)

In loving memory of Ray Lapthorne who sadly passed away on 22nd October 2025

Raymond Lapthorne, Ray to everyone who mattered, came into the world on 21st August 1943. The youngest of seven, with Alfred, Howard, Edward, Dora, David, and Margaret as his older siblings. So, it's fair to say it was a lively household. His mum, Amy, nurtured 'Victorian' values in them all, and Ray carried these through his life with impeccable manners, alongside a love, loyalty and respect for strong women.

Ray left school to become a trainee tool setter, where he really came into his own. He had a sharp eye for detail and he developed strong skills and an even stronger work ethic. Ray was good at everything he turned his hands to and he made friends everywhere; Barry, Alan, Keith, Mick, and of course his brothers Edward and David. These friendships, built over a pint, had laughter, loyalty, and a shared love of Aston Villa.

Ray adored football, plane spotting, and could often be found standing in the garden with his binoculars, watching the sky. He loved a weekend away and would later recall memories of exploring places like Cosford, Bournemouth and Dartmouth -places with air shows.

In the midst of friendships and football, Ray met Gill, and nothing in his life was ever quite the same. There was an instant bond, attraction and chemistry between them; something steady and certain. A connection that grew into a long, happy marriage built on deep love, loyalty, and genuine friendship. From the very beginning, they understood each other and they carried that understanding through more than 65 years side by side.

Ray was a real man's man to his son's Phil, Lee, his nieces and nephews, and even Mark, his 'third son’ who he always watched out for too. But under the surface he was a deeply romantic, caring and fiercely loyal man. Always looking out for others, Ray would put his own needs to the side to protect those around him. When he was diagnosed with dementia, he kept this to himself for as long as he could, facing it with bravery and stoicism.

Friendship meant the world to Ray. His bond with best mate Doug was legendary. It was Gill & Ray and Kay & Doug - the fab foursome who collected memories together including Grand Canaries, London, Cornwall, Las Vegas, New York, Ibiza and even flying round the Grand Canyon together one year. Every New Year’s Eve was celebrated together for decades. When Ray lost Doug, he was devastated.

Ray was devoted to his family. He worked seven days a week for decades so that Phil and Lee could have the life he wanted to give them, reminding them that he and his siblings hadn't had many toys when they were young. Some Christmases he got an apple and an orange. This upbringing inspired Ray to always help others, and he would take his boys to donate to the toy charity bus so that others didn't go without.
Ray took immense pride in his home. The houses he and Gill made their lives in together were immaculate, organised, and the gardens always stunning. If a bird dared to dirty the conservatory roof, Ray waged a full-scale war with catapults, nerf guns and peashooters. He understood that home was everything and would help others with theirs too when needed, like Grandma Vi, whose garden he helped out in until she went into care.

Ray loved being a grandad as much as he loved being a dad, and he brought the same pride, devotion, and slightly grumpy charm to it. As a dad, he shared everything that mattered to him. He took Phil to Villa matches and saved every programme like it was a priceless artefact. Weekends often ended at Grandma Vi’s; everyone squeezed around the living room with fish, chips and cake. There were chalet holidays in Prestatyn, then Porthmadoc and Black Rock Sands where the boys collected sand in their shoes and treasured memories.

His affectionate nickname of 'grumpy grandad' was outweighed by his spirit. He handed Selina the keys to his Fiesta as soon as she started learning to drive, bought Chloe a brand-new iPhone, and kept the pocket money flowing well into their twenties. He adored them alongside grand-dog, Erin the Beagle.

Ray grafted for years to reach his goal of being mortgage-free with pensions sorted. He dreamed of taking Gill on little weekend getaways in retirement - a dream they talked about with love and hope. Sadly, life didn’t let them have this dream because illness crept in. Ray kept the discovery of metal fragments in his head from his tool-setting days, and then the diagnosis of dementia to himself, not wanting to burden others with them.

The man who always looked out for everyone else didn’t want to worry anyone. Yet despite the changes the illness brought, his charm, cheeky smile, and warm giggle stayed with him to the end.

On October 22nd this year, Ray died the way he lived; listening to Frank Sinatra, surrounded by love and hearing the voices of Gill, Phil and Lee telling him that they were proud of him, that they were grateful, and that they loved him.