Eileen Doris James (28 Aug 1936 - 18 Jul 2025)

In loving memory of Eileen Doris James who died on 18th July 2025, aged 88 years. Sadly missed by her family: Donna and Malcolm; Alastair and Lynn; Sam, Shayda and Jaxon; and Alex and Roxy and her surviving sister, Susan.

Born in 1936 in London, Eileen grew up in London and Petts Wood. Despite being evacuated to Betws y Coed for part of the war, Eileen still recounted the horror of 'Doodle Bugs' and seeing the house at the bottom of her garden blown up. Eileen was the eldest of the five surviving children of Walter and Doris, namely Rose, Valerie, Peter and Susan. She was active in the Girls' Brigade and the Baptist church and was a keen tap dancer until illness intervened. Her illness at 14 resulted in her leaving school and her dancing also ceased, but she rallied and started work as a typist at nearby Parker Pens. She met Cyril James while he was doing national service in Biggin Hill and they married in 1956. They had 3 children: Richard in 1962 (deceased at birth), Donna in 1964, and Alastair in 1969.

Eileen and Cyril lived in Dover and Petts Wood then moved to Milton Regis in Sittingbourne in 1969, while Eileen was expecting Alastair, along with what Eileen called the menagerie - a rather large collection of pets. Eileen spent most of her adult life as a homemaker and at the same time she was active in politics, canvassing at local and general elections, and she also stood as a local councillor (but was not elected). She served on school PTAs for a time, and later in life re-joined church life, this time the C of E, getting confirmed in her late 50s. Eileen was a keen gardener, providing a plant stall for church fetes and ensuring her garden was full to the brim with blooms from Spring to Autumn.

While bringing up their children, Eileen and Cyril, the latter having been orphaned a young child, also fostered children - short- and long-term, providing them with a loving home during their time of need. Despite leaving school early, Eileen was bright and was tremendous at looking after the household finances and even during the hard days of the oil crises in the 70s, a summer holiday was always enjoyed by all the family with however many children there happened to be at the time. They made the most of the train travel concessions that Cyril enjoyed from his work to travel across Europe taking the children to important cultural and historical sites as well as to enjoy the food and fun of the Mediterranean. Eileen was keen on helping her children, birth and fostered, to get the best start in life and taught them all to read and to write as early as possible as well as inculcating manners and values she believed were necessary for a good life. She was ambitious for them all, guiding them to get the education she sadly did not finish. While serving on PTAs, Eileen also went into the classroom and taught children who were struggling to read and write, an activity she found intensely fulfilling.

Eileen enjoyed travelling and she and Cyril visited Italy prior to children and later took the family back for holidays. After the children had flown the nest, Eileen got over her fear of flying in her early 60s and enjoyed a second spring in her life. They flew to Ireland and from then on went to visit her sister Rose in Adelaide, Australia three times, stopping off to explore other countries in Asia and other cities in Australia on the way. They also explored the NE of the USA to see the Autumn colours and explore the mysteries of ordering a breakfast in a US diner. Eileen had a great sense of fun which could be hidden due to her shyness, but many of her friends and family will remember her ready laugh and her love of dancing. While she had a quick temper and suffered bouts of depressive mood, Eileen was also incredibly kind through her life offering help to 'older' people well into her late 70s.

Another area in which Eileen found joy was her grandchildren, Sam and Alex. She and Cyril loved looking after them and also took them on trips to London and to Edinburgh. Through their childhoods, Sam and Alex often came round to see them, to watch sport and to raid the snack cupboard.

As well as loving her own companion animals, Eileen was also fond of nature and wildlife and subscribed to a variety of charities to preserve our fragile ecosystems and biodiversity. Eileen and Cyril were often ahead of the times. Eileen was a stickler for picking up rubbish and telling complete strangers to do so and they built water conservation measures in their house and garden years ago.

Sadly, it became apparent in her late 70s and early 80s that Eileen was suffering from dementia. She was taken into care in August 2020 and lost her husband of 66 years, Cyril, six weeks thereafter. The next 5 years in her nursing home spent receiving kind and excellent care were, nevertheless, a mixed bag for her with times of calm and relative happiness, and times of anxiety and suffering. She died unexpectedly when Alastair made his routine weekly visit with Alastair by her side and Donna also present on video call.

Eileen will be sadly missed. As she would say - 'God bless'.