John James Sweeney (23 Jan 1931 - 9 Jan 2025)
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In loving memory of John James Sweeney who sadly passed away on 9th January 2025.
JOHN JAMES SWEENEY 23-01-1931 to 9.01.2025
First and foremost, can I thank you all for coming today, to pay your respects to Dad.
In reference to the music today, Let em Come, was Stephen’s choice, for obvious reasons. Millwall FC was beloved by Dad, and it was an integral part of his life. My John, when he was young, enquired of me one day “Why do we support Millwall, Dad?” I answered, “Because I support Millwall, and your Grandad does as well” To coin a phrase “That’s what we do”. It was a very proud moment for me when I took my John to his first game. Three generations sitting side by side, and we won 4-0 as I recollect.
That’s Life – pretty much picked itself. Dad was a massive Sinatra fan, and the lyrics epitomise Dad’s approach to life. That being that the adversities that you face in life should not be what defines you but more the way you deal with those challenges. That is what your legacy should be.
Father and Son – for Stephen and I. I have exercised a bit of poetic licence with this song, it does not entirely fit. However, the sentiment expressed about being made to listen, encapsulates Dad’s approach to life. Dad’s view was very black and white, he did not do grey particularly well. There were two ways to do things as far as Dad was concerned. There was the ‘John Sweeney Way’ and then there was the wrong way. (I have made a note here, pause for laughter and smiles of recognition). Not that I want to paint a picture of Dad as being dictatorial and overbearing, but he was just very firmly set in his ways.
It is an almost impossible task to distil into a few pages somebody’s true worth and the measure of the man he was.
Being the eldest of five siblings, he has always been the patriarch to us all. Somebody to who we would turn for sage advice.
Dad grew up in Rotherhithe and from a modern-day perspective it would be viewed as a deprived neighbourhood. However, all of Dad’s recollections of his formative years were nothing but positive. Each family unit of the Sweeney clan living on a separate floor of a tenement building, he was surrounded by his extended family but at the very heart there was the love and affection of his Mother, who was adored by all her children.
A bit of an understatement, but it was interrupted, by the outbreak of World War II. He would still recount stories of his Evacuation to East Sussex, right up to the point that the Dementia really took hold, such was the indelible imprint it left upon him. Lisa and I have the fondest memories of a day trip to Burgess Hill, where he showed us the houses where he was ‘billeted ‘ and we toured the Rec, where he explained that all the kids would run and whoop, whilst being supervised by Granny Knobs. I never did get to the bottom of who Granny Knobs actually was. I will have a chat with Maureen later, to see if she can shed any further light on the subject. In my opinion, it shaped Dad into the man he became, the fact it exposed him to the harsh realities of life i.e. ‘The Haves and the Have Not’s’. As the kids from London, they were always playing second fiddle. I believe it ignited in him a burning desire to always be one of the Haves.
Let’s face it, he was a working-class kid from Rotherhithe. He was not expected to go on foreign holidays in the 1950's. Got some great photos of Dad, one of which is on the back of the Order of Service, and his and friends lapping it up in Spain and Italy. He pushed that glass ceiling even further when he bought his own home in suburbia, as it was then, in the 1960’s. That was almost unheard of, for somebody of his humble beginnings.
The same could be said of his career, whereby he made the switch from a blue collar start to a prominent white-collar position. It culminated with his appointment on the Thames Barrier project in the mid 1970’s. Nepotism abounded, given there were four members of the family working on the Barrier at one point. Stephen and his fellow Scaffolders used to refer to Dad as “Daddy Sweeney.” When it finished, Dad was left kicking his heels and became tired of the mundane role he had slotted into once more. It was then that he took the very brave and daunting decision, in his 50’s, to retrain as a Health and Safety Officer. Once qualified he travelled to various places in the UK and never hesitated to close a job down, if required, much to the consternation of the CEO. He was always his own man, he never cared much for the politics of working life.
It was around this time that Dad, give or take a year or two, met Margaret, in the Post Office of all places, although they were acquainted already, as they were neighbours. Soon after Margaret moved into 24 Seaton Road, and they set up home together. They say birds of a feather flock together and it was clear that they were both well suited. Both liked their morning coffee at 11 o’clock and their Dinner at 6pm. Lunch was always a Sandwich of some sort, with a helping of salad on the side. They complimented each other and were happy together.
Dad was never more content than when he was holding court at a grand gathering of the clan. Family came first for Dad, in fact, come to think of it, it came second and third as well. A sense of duty and responsibility was fundamental to Dad, it was at the very core of his being. He never missed a weekend, following the Divorce. I could rely upon him implicitly, he never let me down. For that I will be eternally grateful. I went to live with him when I was 14 years of age, as I was going off the rails a bit. It was a bit like moving from Butlins to Stalag 17, but he instilled in me the values that have made me the man I am today. I, along with all of us, will always have the utmost respect for him. He is held in such high esteem by all whose life he touched.
His love and influence extended to his Grandchildren as well. He adored them and they in return adored him. They were his legacy and the delight he took in them was apparent for all to see. Even in the later stages of his Dementia, when Ivy-Mae would visit, he only had eyes for her, the rest of us were but bit players. When we referred to him as ‘GG’ his eyes would light up with an accompanying beaming smile from ear to ear.
Dad was so much to so many different people:
• A loyal Friend.
• An ever-dependable Big Brother.
• A favourite Uncle.
• A nurturing and loving Grandfather.
• A Partner in every sense of the word; and
• Quite simply the best Dad in the World
He will be so deeply mourned and sadly missed by us all. On the plus side, we have so many memories, oh boy, we have so many memories to comfort us in our grief. Take solace in that, and remember the man that was, and smile to yourself, content that he will always be forever in your heart.
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