Ever since your departure, time...and time again, our story keeps replaying in slow motion. From the very first day we've met to the very last video call we had together on the night you've fallen asleep.You have fallen as an warrior,you rosen as an angel
See you later...
Today is exactly one week since your body been laid to rest.
I'm sure that you were looking down and you must have felt so very proud for the dignified and respectful service they organized for you.
They did you proud!
The only certainty in our lives...Is death!
There is no rights or wrongs, no reasons or answers.
There is no point in trying to understand what we are unable to explain,
it was a story that ended externally without our agreement.
That's not how we planned our lives, but life doesn't allow us rehearsals. There is no lightning before thunder.
But I love everything that was, everything that no longer is, the pain that still hurts, and our loyalty and bond to one another, and our faith we shared between the two of us too...
Our beautiful story... it was witnessed from every hello's and every farewell's by platforms in train stations, there they are our two hearts, still beating together as one.
Saying goodbye to you, is saying goodbye to myself, and I know you wouldn't want that, because you never liked goodbyes, you always preferred see you later...
The platform of this station where I find myself continues to be life, a life that will be lived with you inside my heart always and forever more...
In reflection my darling, how lucky we both were, to have had something so beautiful and pure between the two of us, that used to make or "goodbyes" always so hard to bare.
How do I say goodbye to someone I have never imagined myself without?
So I don't say goodbye. I do not say nothing. I'm just going...for a moment. xx
See you later...
Today is exactly one week since your body been laid to rest.
I'm sure that you were looking down and you must have felt so very proud for the dignified and respectful service they organized for you.
They did you proud!
The only certainty in our lives...Is death!
There is no rights or wrongs, no reasons or answers.
There is no point in trying to understand what we are unable to explain,
it was a story that ended externally without our agreement.
That's not how we planned our lives, but life doesn't allow us rehearsals. There is no lightning before thunder.
But I love everything that was, everything that no longer is, the pain that still hurts, and our loyalty and bond to one another, and our faith we shared between the two of us too...
Our beautiful story... it was witnessed from every hello's and every farewell's by platforms in train stations, there they are our two hearts, still beating together as one.
Saying goodbye to you, is saying goodbye to myself, and I know you wouldn't want that, because you never liked goodbyes, you always preferred see you later...
The platform of this station where I find myself continues to be life, a life that will be lived with you inside my heart always and forever more...
In reflection my darling, how lucky we both were, to have had something so beautiful and pure between the two of us, that used to make or "goodbyes" always so hard to bare.
How do I say goodbye to someone I have never imagined myself without?
So I don't say goodbye. I do not say nothing. I'm just going...for a moment. xx
My soul mate my Romanian Prince. Forever yours always.xx
"BRING HIM HOME
God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there,
He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.
He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one
How soon they fly
On and on...
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home."
Your body might be resting here but your spirit and your heart will be going home with me. Where you were the most happy, where you were free.Where you got to know the nicer side of (GLBT) community. Where there are no "wolves" to control you. Where everybody loved you and had the upmost respect for you.
You going home with me my darling. Xx
EULOGY
to my beloved Paul.
Today; I woke up in anger.
Today; markes ten years when we first met.
No, no, I definitely don't like this world without you in it.
I've been robbed of you, I've been robbed of your presence in my life.
There is an uncomfortable space between what I feel and what I can say in here.
My anger speaks for me when my words I cannot utter. There's a deluge of mixed emotions within me...
It’s so bitterly painful…
When someone you know so well...all of a sudden becomes someone you once knew. Someone who you cherished so much, you loved, respected and admired, laughed and cried with...
Leaving me only with traces of reminders... all jumbled up, without any order, all competing with one another, and then there is silence, there is absence, and a black void, all within the same frame, all at the same time.
It's all so overwhelmeing, so difficult to register, and so hard to accept, that over my soul gets extended a lugubrious shadow almost capable of damaging everything, It digs an abyss of ruins.
Our motto:
"YOU NEVER HAVE TO ASK ME TO BE YOURS...
I ALWAYS WAS...
I ALWAYS WILL BE...
WE BOTH KNOW IT."
Rest in peace my darling, the "wolves" can no longer hurt you!
You are a child of God and you are now in the House of God, and no one will be throwing you out on the street, you are save and protected. xx
It's so painful and so hard to bear when one heart alone is suffering for two.xx
Rest in peace & fly high & no longer in pain & taken far too young🙏❤️🌈😩💔🖤🙏
❤️❤️
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