Funeral Speech:
Hello Everyone and thank you for coming. For those you don’t know me my name is Jack and I have the privilege of being Susan’s son.
There’s many things I could tell you about my mum she was loyal, clever, kind and could even squeeze out jokes from time to time, but above all else she was fearless. If my mum wanted something she would go and get it. It would not matter who or what was in her way.
I can remember a fact that my mum once told me about herself. She stated that out of all the job interviews she had over her working life, she got offered the job every time. More than likely because she had more qualifications and work experience than all the other staff members combined.
My mum was terrified of flying but that still didn’t stop her from flying to and from Gibraltar twice a week. Over the course of my life I have witnessed other people thinking my mum was an easy target to push around due to her calmness and lack of height but as you can imagine she made those people turn from Bertie Big Bollocks to Timmy Tiny Testies right quick. Even her own children (especially myself) tried to get our own way. Now I can say for myself I have come face to face with people armed with knives but that still doesn’t compare to my mum when she did what we call the Bunny teeth. The Bunny teeth involves my mum going bright red, shaking her head vigorously with her front teeth biting down on her bottom lip. Even thinking about it now gives me the shivers.
But what would I give now to see that again. One last time.
My mum loved Disney so much that she was wanting to work as Mickey Mouse. She was not pleased when we stated she would be more convincing as one of the dwarfs.
I do not believe in heaven but if there is one my mum will be up there, probably telling god how to do his job more effectively.
I miss you mum, I’ll do what I can to make you proud
Thank you
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