The British do not on the whole like being told how to handle their emotions.
A reserved people that only tend to open up to the world when it is seen drinking quite heavily (normal) during the weekend. A survey by Co Op Funeral Homes run by YouGov has found this to be exactly the case nationwide.
On to the findings of the survey on death, dying and bereavement:
The poll about death, dying and bereavement is certainly showcasing several national British traits thus far. That the British are tight with their emotions in regards to death, which is private and personal. And that the national media is a self serving beast that propagates the bad of society to sell newspapers on a continual basis.
In fact three of the top ten reasons for considering one’s own future halting were related to terrorism, a celebrity death and news reports of death amounting to a total of 41% as opposed to the top reason and the death of a family member at 28%. This statistic speaks volumes about thoughts of mortality.
The Co Op have drawn from the results that such a British national taboo of not talking about death and dealing with it properly is having a “detrimental impact” on society in general, because we don’t check ourselves in for a three months course with a psychologist and simply plod and Keep Calm And Carry On. Which admittedly is not the best for a person grieving.
Therefore the British should understand their response to death and grieving does perhaps need a little nudge to the fore because
To contrast the results of the poll many may also find the worst part is not the finding out or indeed the funeral but the part in between the two.
Even when assistance is offered by family members it isn’t always accepted. This is definitely where the British attitude comes into play but quite whether it is the taboo Co Op leads us to believe from the poll results is a question of national identity.
To show further how we could probably better adapt to death is to teach such moral compass values at school, rather than having to learn them ourselves at what is an average age of experience a close relative or friend dying at around the age of twenty. The Co-Op poll about death, dying and bereavement found the following scenarios:
Two statistics that did stand out early on is how people feel at the time a death is announced.
Whether it was known to be arriving or was a complete shock the fallout appears to be similar. In that the bereaved, the relatives and family of the deceased find arranging a funeral a very difficult and untimely event to address. Also that 7.58% had financial difficulties pertaining to the arrangement of a funeral.
The 30,000 people polled, said to be representative of the millions at large indicated via a range of other questions that 81% of them had no savings in place for paying for a funeral when they die. Other than money which may be tied up in their Estate or remaining money in a bank account. Rather than a bequeathed order of funding.
In fact 27% of respondents had notarised a formal Will and Testament – which in my view is a remarkably high number and possibly connected to other document requirements such as a mortgage. 6% have a Lasting Power Of Attorney and 5% have put in place a funeral plan which pays for a funeral via monthly instalments over a limited time but keeps a rate of inflation annually until time of need.
When you combine how relatives feel when a person dies, how they feel able to manage situations and cope emotionally. How during this time they have to find the money for funeral services and other arrangements despite their own financial situation and perhaps have a British stance when it comes to death.
Perhaps there needs to be more understanding from everyone including the person dying, as to the effect death has on all in the moment, shortly after and even years after when most should have come to terms with a parent passing away.
Perhaps more funeral homes both national and independent and the Government should support Co-Op’s findings and help the named organisations and charities find a way to better educate society about death from an earlier age and how it is all rather common place. Not to negate emotional fallout or to lessen such but to inform so that the grieving process can be handled better by ourselves and indeed those around us.
In partnership with Co-op are British Red Cross, Child Bereavement UK, Cruse Bereavement Care, Dying Matters, Remember a Charity and Sue Ryder who wish to evoke some sort of social change in the national communities by way of initiating programmes that may follow lines such as:
Mental health is at risk long term when emotions are contained for so long and not provided an outlet for release. This in turn effects the building of new relationships, keeping current ones full of life and may lead to loss of employment and yet more financial difficulties down the road.
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